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CONFINED TO THE LIBRARY.
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3RICE (Andrew, printer and author y of Exeter) The Mobiad: Or, Battle of the ^
/oice. An Heroi-Comical Poem, Sportively Satirical: Being a briefly historical ^'^^
latural and lively, free and humorous Description of an Exeter Election in . - : 5:
>ix Canto's. Exon: Printed and Sold by Brice and Thorny 1770. £4 10s -v
tvoy CX>NTBMPORARY CALF. FIRST EDITION. Boiuid with a copy of Dalrymple*s Considerations jT' .
Jpon the Policy of Entails, Edinburgh) 1764
3rice, a remarkable character, who ran a weekly newspaper from 1715 to 1773, and brought out a
jTond GoMetteer or Topographical Dictionary, wrote the Mobiad in 1738. The tone of the poem -
CONFINED TO THE LIBRARY-
Printed for W. Flexneyy 1767.
4to, unbound; with half title. First edition. Containing references to Sheridan, Gray,
Murphy, Mason, Colman, Langhorne, Whitehead, Clive, various actors and even con
tailors, shoemakers, &c.
195 CAUSTON (Peter) Tunbrigialia. Londitu: 4ff,f(^^^\(>
8vo, unbound, pp. 12. Scarce. A Latin poem on Tunbridge Wells, with a dedication
gratitude to G. Frohock, on whose recommendation the author seems to have taken i
with much benefit.
1Q#^ r.F.PVANTRS. The Most AHmiVoKi- «-j T^.t.-* .*. - —
yLn.s^olHt
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■ /
'J' H E
M O B I A Dr
D R,
Battle of the voice.
AN
HEROI-COMIC POEM,
SPORtlVELY SATIRICAL:
Being a briefly hiftorical, natural and liycly, free add
huniorous. Description
OF AN
EXETER ELECTION.
In SIX CANTONS,
lUuftrated with fuch Notes as for finti Readers may
« be fuppofed ufeful.
By Democritus Juvenal, Moral
rrofefTor of RicTicule, and plaguy-pleafant ^Uow of
Stingtickle tdlege j . '
Vulgarly
ANDREW BRICE, EXON.
- - - - Magno in popolo cam faspe coorta eft
Sedicio, fxvitque animis ignobile vulgus,
Jnfequitur clamorque virum, furor arma mihiftrar*
Prsefentemque viris intentant omnia mortem ;
Difficile eft fatiram non fcribere. — Ridiculum acrt
Fortius et melius magnas plerumqae ^ecat res.
ViRG. JUV. HOR.
0» » « ■ I r III - I I ■ n »iiiiii»iB II I II ■ I . Ill I ■ . ,.
EXON: P/ipted and Sold by 6 a i c £ and Thorn:
And fold alfo by T, D a v i E s, in Grcat-Raffcl Street,
Covent-Garden, London. MDCCLXX.
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Jhe Author's Valediftory Sermon to this
hopeful Spark, his Progeny,
GP, thou playfome, flily-fnickering, dry-bobbing Soi|
o^ Phantasy. That frolic Dame W2s hwiftly thy
j^other ; conceived, form'd, apd with no hard Travail
— {Indignation aiding) — jbroug^t thee forth. Historic
Truth, however, had a finger in the pye, and (as ana.
t}ier trite Saying goes) blow'd to thy making* Go ^ — try
thy Fortune, as thy Betters have done* As Circumfianccf
allowM, I brought thee up to • — what thou art ; have now
tolerably doath'd thee in a decent plain Suit of Print : And
what is to be done next but fend thee into the WorU \
Good Hands rebeive thee, and not harflily treat thee I And
may'ft thou beft thrive in thy proper Vocation of pkqfiag
a^d profiting thy Entertainers ! ' . ^
I fhould gladly have had beftow'd upon thee a (hort Te»
ftimonial of fome or otlier Worthinefs, or good Property,
in thee ; or elfe to have got fome Refpedable Name /or
thy Prote£tion. But Patronage for Poetry, 'ihouM ieem,
is now no more the Growth of every dime than is good
Poetry itfelf. And alas ! Virgils thrive not but in the
f:ultivated warm Garden of a Mobccnas. Kind Fofterers^
— ( One Swallow making of itfelf - - - but One ) — - and
even a tutelary Mafter, feem as difficultly to be met with*
So that, at the laft refort, thou muft for a good Run truft to
thy own Legs ;— or, as fome Folk feem to think, to the
compulfive Conduct of thy own Pl ane t : A Giiide vay
precarious truly ; there being, they tell you, amongft the
others, a villainous Twehe-farthing one, a cruel £^vier«f
Merit, malicioufly more buiy with his Influence than all Ae
reft. If fuch their Creed be orthodox, that mifdiievous
Meddler, perhap, too much tampered with my own Nativity:
Forcing upon ine a radical Itch of Scribbling, nay an ungaiii*
ful foetid Turn 3 when Saturn himfelf mi^t have taken me
wdq;
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tihder his Care, and, giving the a ?repen(ion to dap tucratpdi
PioJing, difpos^d my Bent for Money'raking like a Midas^
or any modern Ways-and-Ateam Monger that ever defcrved
----- Preferment.
Be not difhearten'd neither, tho' modeftly diffident.
Hie Queftion fhould be. Haft thou any good Parts, or
haft thou not I Humbly fhouldeft thou anfwer, it is not
fbr thee to fay ; but that thou wouldeft readily fubmit to a
candid, though dreading a vaftl^ rigid. Examination.
New, if real Genius in thee beam fometimes forth,
flitne frequently, and mord or lefs fparkle throughout thy
Contipofition,' the Deuce or faid Planet muft lo^d thy Dice^
if thou findeft the whole World inho^itaUe. And if a
fpr%htly Genius have found and manly Sentiment, and
( what to this Kind of Poem is eftential ) ghtteel Drolery of
Honour for Companions, fome fweet Souls may take you
In fpgether for very Joke's fake. But if th6u b^ no Meriti
no Tf^oribj nothing lovely^ in thee, •— I can't flattering fay,
thou deferveft it.
Alas, Child !— - To fay nothJng-of Erudition ;— Compe-
tency of Knowledge, Vivacity of Thought, and Maturity
of Judg^ient, and a fuitable Portion of well-govern'd
PoBTic Fife, with certain other Sterling Somewhats not
teadily to be here, by me, exprefs'd, but infinitely more
valuable than JingU and Meajure^ Rhyme and Verfification^
are tequifite to the Conftraflion of right good POESY.
Every jejune Poem^ or ftarveling Copy of Vnrfes^ is not It.
If thefe fomewhats^ &c. are all lacking in thee, — I'd not
give Two-pence a Year to infure thy Longevity. Well ;
mayeft thou have equal Judges ! May a good Report of
thee comfort me, and recommend tbyfelf [ So fare thee
ivtU at once*
Exon, July the 4th, 17^70.
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^
< i. )
m)^^.
PREFACE,
Written when the Poem was juft finifli'd,
and intendedj at thjlt Time, (viz. in 1738*)
to have been forthwith publifh'd.
Ttt£ 'f ATLER recounts how Pa cole t his
feignM Familiar cured a common Swearer,
hy laying his own Language, penn'd, be-
fore him. Though the Story be Fiftion, yet fuch
Effeft were in Reality hot abfolutely improbable.
The wife Spartans experimented fomething like
itt in expofing their Slaves, purpofely made drunk,
to the View of their Sons ; who were thereby the
more renderM Abhorrers of fuch unmanning vile
Debauchery. Could a Man^ of good Senfe and
Fafhion, but perfedly fee and coiifider, in a fober
Hour, his own Very Perfbn afting before others
the filly and filthy Scene of a thorough Debauch,
it might, poflibly, fet him more on his guard
againft the like Intemperance for future, as well
as fill him with Shame and Contrition for the paft.
ft Why,
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ii. P It E FACE.
Why, then, might not fuch, in a Tort, behold
himfclf, as it were in a Mirrour, in Hogarth's
Midnight Conversation, or Ibme antfck
. Chimney-piece more vulgarly baccahalian ? 'Why
fhould the Moral of the pencilM Satire be over-
looked or difregarded ? One might be apt to fancy
Tavern -*Qyarrels, painted artfully in Tipiing-
Rooms, might, if confiderately obferv'd, withold
real Gentlemen of Breeding from* plunging into
foch Depths of Liquor as might overwhelm their
, Humanity, and transform t^ern for a Time to
fuch worfe than Savages as in Colours reprelentedi
And we fhould imagine, a Man, in calm good
Temper, might hate, yet defpife, his own late
Appearance pourtray*d the very Madman he
looked, and behav'd, in Height of that Rage he
was, flrangely he might think, thrown into.
And wherefore fhould not the EfFeft hold in
parallel Examples? Why might not fome heed-
fully perufing a boiflerous Election, in which
they were Agents or Agitators, (cfpeciaJly of but
little if any Moment ) juflly defcrib'd in fuired
Verje^ be afliam'd of the ridiculous or bafe Parts
which they, as 'twere in Effigie, review they afted
in the wretched Farce ? Why (hould they not fee]
a Twinge of Thought at the Dangers which they,
with others, proved inftrumental — ( though^ it
may be, unwittingly^— in occafioning, as well as
Remorfe at being any Way, even undefignediy,
acceffaty to, Mifchicfs therein committed?
This
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PREFACE. iii.
This Poetic Sketch was dmwn to that honcft
Intent. Though there are very few, if any,
dircftly and perfonally charafteriz'd, yet Num-
bers, lif they have Eyes of Underftanding, may
difcern their own Images in Defcription expofing
themfelves to Dcrifion, Contempt, perhaps and'
Deteftation. Alfo may be feen to what a diftradled
and unhappy Plight mere Whim and Fantaft have
brought us.. Why then Ihould it not conduce to
the correfting our Condudt, difcountenancing Tu«
mult, reftoring Civility at leaft, and by Degrees
recovering Trade, fo foolifhly deftroy'd by hare-
brained Faftion ? Why may we not hope there-
upon that Perfons of Equanimity may venture into
publick and mix'd Converfation, be there us'd
with Good-manners, and lee the Company fit, and
in. due Seafon part, obfequious and mannerly at
worft, — notwithftanding their having voted dif-
ferently for a Forty Man ( as they ftyle him ), a
Mayor, or Member of Parliament himfelf ?
Though dreading a being furrounded in and by
a MOB, efpecially a pent-up contending one,
yet, to make proper Obfervations, and to colledt
apt Materials, I, for once, voluntarily hazarded
myfelf even on the very Spot of thickeft Uproar
. and Confufion. At which Time, worfe than that
of the Painter ( who, furpaffingly to delineate a
Battle, in its various Horrors, to the Life, went
joyfully to gaze at one, but therein loft both his
Arms by his Curiofity ) had like to have prov'd
my Hap ; not only almoft crulh'd to death in tho
a 2 Throng,
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iv, PRE FACE.
Throng, but like to have my finall Portion of
Brains prcfs'd out, or my Head itfelf wrung ofif,
in the Gateway, endeavouring, ^t laft, to cff^pe
put of the crow4c4 HaU*
However rqugh, unfinifh^d, and incorrcft, ye»
trifling and filly, the flight Perforniance be, or
(hall be faid to be, — niy Vanity flutters itfelf
it is pretty natural, piflqrefque, and indifferently
full of genuine Humour: Which ar^ Hits and
Ingredients not defpicable in Pieces of this Nat-
ure. Yes, I ^m forward enough to fancy, thajt
it is not quite devoid of fuch titillating as weU
?is poignant Humour as may divert ?yen where
it nettles, pleafe the Struck in defpight of the^r
llefentment, and force them at lead co fhiile jui^^
^pon biting their ^p; qr Knuckles*
It, being calculated principally for the Ufc an4
Service of ibis City^ — (though not to be /b very
heal as not to fit other Places ;-t- Mo bs being
Mobs every-wherc) — as well s^s the Subjedt is
a Traniaftion upon the Spot, I fhought fit to
gather many of the coU^feral lacidents, Similes^
iHluHons, and other embellifliing Circqmflances^
as well as fomc Words and Phrafes of Propriety,
from the proper Scene of Adtion, and Parts ad-t
jacent j fo as to adapt the Boem moft properly
to the Place. The ^ime of the Main Aftion alio
confifts of about Six Hmurs -, each diftinguilh'd pro#
pcrly by concomitant Jpl^nat well knowri to th?
Inhabitant;.
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PREFACE. v;
Inhabitants. In managing of which, though the
jnorc ftrcighten'd thereby of Fancy, I have had
this one Advantage of fervile mechanic Imitators^
and Common - place Authors, yiz. of writing
Things certainly my ozvn^ yea alfo, fuch as they
ar^ ! probably »w.
But, as it's pot impofTible it may iikewife fall
into the Hands of Strangers, and at a Diftance^
and live too when the prefcnt Generation have all
]ef( the Light, I have in the Bottom Margin fiir^
piih'd fgch with explanatory Notes, as well as illi<«
terate Readers among oyrfelves with a f<^w others^
which they may need> feverally, to appreheod
Matters by«
Now, if the neighbourly prime End of it be
happily attained, let the Execution itfelf be laugh'd
at, defpis'd, or vilify'd, as much as thole who know
any or no Reafon for it pleafe. Real Errors, as
well as fmaller Slips, qu^e aut incuria fudit^ f^c. — '
(As where is the Work which has of all been
thought ablblqtely clear of 'em ; — fince even that
of Pope himfelf has not appeared infallible -,) -~
are, I queftion not, plenteous enough in it; and
may be confpicuous to more judicious and lefs con-
cerned Eyes, though my own too fond ones may
npt have been able hitherto to difcover them : In
which, as the Great Virgil himfelf found Gold
in the Drofi of En ni us, poffibly the moft cen-
forious and mdlevolent may own, that though there
arc
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vi, PREFACE.
are fome * Lines and Paflages but fo fa enough of
ipy ZoiLus' Confcicnce, a great many more may
be tolerable and f affable ; — and fome better than
could be expefted from fuch a Country City as is
Old EXETER.
I was launching, perhaps, into a too deep Prc-
j^mptipOj and abalh'd draw back. — And yet, if
any one fhall think fit to attack, cavil at, or
tenter it, or any the worft of it he can cull out,
let him but do it fairly f above-board, like a Man
confcious of his Ability, or righteoufly fo as it may
cpnie duely to my Knowledge, and I will thank
him as for a Favour, however roughly, or Iport*
fully (yet not abufivcly^, handled by him. If he
condemns the Whole in Grofs, or any Part, it
<p9tns but equitable he Ihould openly fix upon Par-
Vcylars, and affign Reafons, — in their Turn alfo
^Q be cxamih'd whether folid and of Force, or not j
— and whether indeed the fou?id Faults may not
happen to lie in the Finder. Such fometime$
proves to be the Cafe, Some Wou'd-be Critick<
poffibly but df'eam that even minor Poets ( or, if
you will fo have it, Poetafters) nod.
A Man is not, indeed, oblig'd to like a Thing ;
and it may be juft enough in him to fay he doe^
not like it ^ — ^nd that for the fubllantial and un-
anfwerablc
* Alluding to Sunt hna^ fwU quadam medioara^ Juni
mala plura.
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PREFACE. ^li.
anfwerablc Reafon, hecaufe he does not. Let a Man
be pleasM at what him pleafcs. But alas ! to prove
the Thing which he may have taken in his Head,
or in his Will, to diQike, (or, haply, has not in hi
Head whereby to like) to the Author's Face to be
in Fadt condemnable, and give fufficient Rcafons
why no one elfe ought to like it, may not be fo
cafy, or fo fafe. For the Tables might be turned
upon him, and the Caufe of his finding fault may
be found to be either his own Malice or Ignorance^
as well as Selfconccit, or Want of Judgment,
Tafte, or Ingenuity.
If but in private only any abiifively treat tliis
Endeavour to do good, as is too oft* tbe 'Cuftom,
Tuch clandeftine Cenfure is pitiful arid fneaking,
and is the Part of but Scoundrels in the true Senfc
of the Word.
/" Something two much, pcrTiaps, of the**:
For till I hear what Faults fhall appear in, or
"be attributed to, the well - intended Opufculum^
much Apotogy fecms nccdlels, and hardly -pcr-^
tinent.
However, — a Word by way of Prevention, in
one particular Refpedt, may be requifite. To aflay
a methodical Narrative of the whole (vifible) Trant
aftion, I found a Neceffity juft a little to touch on
the Appearance in it of our Worfliipfal Superiors.
The Time, the Defign, the Nature, the facetious
' —- "Spirit
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viii. PRE FA C £.
Spirit expeAable in fuch a Poem, alU neceflariljr
exaded a like jocular Style in this with what runs
through its other Parts. If" the light Manner of
Expreflion may feem to oVer-fufpicious and , fari-
ciful Eyes to betoken an indecent Difrefped in m
towards T^n^wi^ fuch Seem is a falfe Appearance,
I profef3 a fincere Veneration for Legal Offices, and
all who worthily bear and maintain *em. Neither
indeed hath the Mufe, though Ihe may have been a
little familiar, and innocently playfome perhaps^^
in the leaft whit been affronting, or even unman-
nerly. She has not taken a Tithe Part of the
Licence claim'd by, and allow'd to, others on like
Occafions. But even had (he fallen with down-
right Inveftive on the Greateft among our Citizens
that afted fcandalouHy and bafely in their Statbns,
flie were by Reafon intirely juftifiable. •' For
(fays the judicious Controvertift as well as mighty
Poet * MiLtON) •* though Men ought not to
•' [peak evil of Dignities which are juft, yet no-
•* thing hinders us to fpeak evil, as oft* as it is the
•* Truth, of thofc who in their Dignities do evil.
" Thus did our Saviour himfelf, John the
\*« Baptift, and Stephen the Martyr/*
. And fhould it be conjeftur'd there were Inu*
endo*s lut-king of fbme not over honourable Ma-
nagement, and fly Sneers at queer Foibles, in fomc
few, even fupposM to be diftinguilh'd Perfonagcs,
, it
^ la his Ichnnkftet. Art. xv«
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PREFACE. ix.
It might be anfwer'd. Some Faults and Oddities
in fuch Perlbnages may be exploded and fmiled at,
and yet the inviolable Dignity of their Stations and
Fundions be heartily refpcded. We know what is
laid to the miftaken proud Afs bearing the Image
of IsiSy by the Kneelers but to the Goddefs, Non
tibi^ fed Religioni ; — Tis not to ^bee^ dull vain
Animal, we pay this Adoration, but to the Divi*
NiTY which thou^ Porter, hear eft. Befides, none
but the Confeious and GalVd can be touch' d by the
poetic Lafli; — and that Lalh but tickles neither.
There may be Affairs carryM on by but ibme,
perliaps a Majority, pafllng in the Name of a Body
Corporate, which others of them might utterly
abhor, oppole, and proteft againft. Such Gentle*
men (for whom I cherifh a cordial Affeftion and
Deference) I am confident, have more good Senfe
and Good-nature than to conftrue in ill part the
Points hinted at. And their Difpleafure alone in
the Cafe would grieve me. They will eafily call
to mind, in favour of my wonted Jocularity, that
when the *Cy kic had in a grave Manner held forth
againft the Vices of the City, and found that Peo-
ple withdrew aloof, and kept almoft out of Ear-
ihot, he began to tune his Throat, and . fing in a
pleafant Strain Part oi a comic Song : Whereby
he allured to him a confiderable Auditory, and
gainM Opportunity of declaiming againft their fa*«
b vourite
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X. PREFACE.
vourite Foibles (though) in his wonted, humcrous,"
more agreeable Way.
To write an Inveftive againft the reigning Fol-.
lies of the Town, in a Mode and Style intirely
morofe and ftern, would be far lefs efficacious than
to do it in a Manner diverting withal, and in jo-i
cular though pompous Language. A bitter Pre-
fcription may go down in a fweet Vehicle, which
would be abfolutely refused, by moft Patients, if
fimplc and undifguis'd. Thefe Confiderations wiU»
I trufl-, convince them of the Ncceffity of the
harmlcfs Freedom taken > or rather with their Bre-*
thren, for the fake of others. A3 for the reft, — ^
«t Why, let the ftrucken Deer go weep,
*' The. Hart ungalW play."
The random Verfe pretends to aiiTi at no body.
And if ^ny body wilj, by crying out,, declare him-
(cli an hit fome-fbody, po-body will pi^y hin\,
but every-body laugh ^t him.
As fqr any coxcombic, proud, pitiful, J^cks-in-
Gfficc, or " pelting petty Officers**, carrying Bull-
beef Grandeur in their Strut and Afped, I fcorn to
excufe my at any Time ridiculing luch ftately Fop-
pery. Pride is odious in any ; but moft fo in luch
as can boaft of no Great Extraftion, and of but
mean Qualifications. The Pride of fuch is moft
def^icable ; its Emblem the fwelling little Reptile
jn the Fable,
Pcrfons
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PREFACE. XI.
Perfdns remote, who may poffibly look over
this little Piece of Ralfery, may want to be adver-
tised. That in the Time of the laft * Elcftion of
Members to reprefcnt this City in Parliament, one
Party diftinguifli'd them/elves by Coclcadcs of
Blub Colour or Yellow. The Seat of one of
the then chofen Members foon after becoming va-
cant, before it was known ^iv ho would be Candi*
dates for the Succeffion, the MOB (who before us'd
to bawl about the Street, Sound for .... fuch an one :
or Sound for .... fuch ! — naming the Gentlemen)
refolving moftly to ftick to their Leaders, or Alloers,
in the foregoing Eledtion, though intirely ignorant
p^ticularly for whom, changed their Notes to Sound
for the Eluo! and Sound for the Yellow ! — meaning
thereby they were refolute Retainers to fuch dif^
ferent Parties as had diftinguilhed themfelves by
Ribons of thofe feveral Colours : And thence ibe
Blue and she Tellow became the adopted 1 erms for
^ory and Wbig^ &c. Thole who efteem them-
felves of the Better Sort prcfently learning them, as
well Bs the polite and genteel calling of Sb-tjack!
of the Filth and OfJ:scouring of the Kennel.
As MOBBING and Outrage are indeed but
fuch, of whichfoever Side the Queftion, and
fcandalous alike, I impartially diQike, and would
equally explode, the bad Humour in botb. But if
b 2 .it
* That which preceded the Mayoralty of Mr. Arthur
Culme, which began in September 1737.
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%n. PREFACE.
it be objcfted, that I ofteneft thus mention the Blue^
I anfwer that I do it nothing in Proportion to the
different Outcries made.
Nor let it be underftood as if I found fault with,
or would ridicule, true Patriots — (as foch
among us there are, who aim the Publick Peace,
and to prefer Worthy Perfons, whofc Wifh and
Endeavour are the Welfare of the Nation, and of
this City particularly ;— I lay, I would not hare it
thought that I in the leaft blame fuch) — tor their
mod ftrenuous Oppofition, in due Seafon, to a
boifterous Faftion. No. Nor can they, I think,
be difconttnended, of cither Side, when M O B-
BING is ply*d upon them to obftruft their lawful
Proceedings, in Times of Choofing, for defending
Themfelves and Rights, and repelling Force by
then neceljary and jaftifiable Force, even the Eke
Force — defenfively. My goodnatured Satire bites,
or rather gently nibbles, fuch only as arc the firft
Mobbcrs^ or Raifers and Encouragers of Mohs^ and
fuch as perpetually belch out the difturbing Spirit of
Mobbing^ and abufe Paffcngers or the Inhabitants,
when they cannot feign the leaft 'Reafon for fo
doing. The fame well-meaning Satire aims to
fhame People, who would be difgufted to be
reckoned not of Gentility and Good Fafliion, not
only from joining perfonally with, but alfo fronr «
abetting, or even tacitly and paifively counter
nancing, fuch Abominations in the prophane Rout.
Andrew Bkicz.
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xuu
rHIllSplIl
A SECOND
i» R E F A C E,
iVbw in i77o#
THUS concluded the Preface writ more
than Thirty Years ago. Haply fuch as
arc apt to " flecp, favc under a Jig or a
•* Tale of , " may think it too proh'x.
Yet, as 'tis elucidating, as well as apologetic, it
liopes from the Generous fome Indulgence ; — «
we knowing not well to abridge it confiderably^
but by abandoning the Performance to unjuft Sur-
mifes. Favour may be the rather took'd for, in
this Refpedb, from the ample Compenlation made
by my withdrawing fome Hundreds of Lines, pof*
libly many of the moft lufoious — [We mean not
ehfiene] -- Lines, from the Poem itfelf, to reduce
its Bulk, &c. However tedious the Prefatory
Compartment be, fomething additional is ftill very
x^uifitc*
III
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xiv. PREFACE.
In Anfwer to an inquifitivc many : That the
Poem was not forthwith, when compofed, pub-
liftiM, was principally owing to my being attacked
with various intervening Maladies, and other ve-
ry pitiable and forbidding Incidents, which had
fet it by, fcarcely at long length, remember'd.
Thofe miferable Circumftances had quite over-
whelmM me long ere I conceived an Idea of any
Topographic Dictionary ; •— that arduous
Undertaking, Labour inconceive^ble, and Attcn*
tion without Rpfpite, which engrofs'd me whole!
In the midft of which I was again fuddcnly flung
at the very Thrclhold of Death's Door.
I err*d in faying engrofs'd me whole: For all the
fame while the Management of my News-paper^
sind all and every the Offices of a Matter Printer/
Corrcftor, ^c. fc?f. wbatfoevef^ lay upon fingle
me. I could ill be faid ever at all to reft% fop,
when any fhort Slumber Ihould have fomc little
eas*d my over * laboured Thoughts, the Dic-
tionary, that Sifyphian Toil ! ftill haunted me,
as bad perhaps as a perpetual Bphialtes^ during near
Five Years together, without Relaxation.
Notwithftanding all —•( Be tributary Thanks, de-
voutly offered in the Highefij and rendered here-
ielozv^ * where fecondarily due ! ) — 1 have woh^^
derfultj!
* Namely to the worthy Mr. J. Patch, ftill living,
aqd my fole furviving Helper. ! fero in caluni redeati ]
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PRE FA C E: xv.
ierfully! liv'd; nay, and liv'd to fee, and to re-
joice in feeing, a very happy Alteration in Numbers
of the Cotnmon People, The more Confiderate
Sort growing afliam'd of fuch horrible Mobbings^
the Populace have grown alfp lefs frequently riot-
ous, in natural very Confcquence. Deprived of
the intoxicating Swillj heretofore lavifh'd in Pro-
fufion on 'em, to fet them outragioufly a madding,
in Qrder to fcrve no very laudable Purpofe, they
have become in Fa£l much Ibberer, in Defpite of
even any natural Propenfity to, or habitual Avidity
of, the annual Draff.
The Boys, whom I juftly fly led the J u n i o r
Mob, and who bore fo brutal, fo fcandalous, a
Part in the Mobbing Tranlaftions of the Day,*
f and which latter were delineated, and painted
iS-om the real very Life, in the Poem) have fince
that Time totally defiftcd from fuch abominable;^
and dangerous Praftifes. Such their Reformation
may poffibly have been owing, in a meafore, to
better Tutorage, and ftrider Difcipline at School ;
the Charity-Schools not excepted*
I with Pleafure, moreover, fee Reformation and
Improvement particularly in our Butthers ; thofe
rugged Ckieftans of the MOB in their Old Days of
Battle. They moftly prove at this Jundhirc very
different Perfons from thofe defcribed as in former
Times. Several of them now appear as polite in
Convef&tion at leaft as other Tr^defmen, nor aro
they
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xvi. P R E FAC B»
they at Elcdions more turbulent •, on the contrary
their Cquntenanoes appear far lefs truculent at them
than Kccctofore they did. And, — Who could
ever have expected. Thirty Three Years ago,
that the Shambles would fo have produced a
Rose I us (a) for the Stage! ~
I, for my own Part, (ever loth to offend) am
become full eafy in the Publication at this fo diftant
a Time from the fenning of the Poem ; in as much
as there remains alive not fo much as One Indi-
vidual of thofe who were, in any relpedt, glanced
zt^ or fatirically alhided to, in the pompouQy-ludi-
crous Touch-of^the*Time : — that blamcable Old
^ime. Nor is there one fingle Perfon NOW who
cap reafonably think bimfilf levelled at thereby.
Such therefore as fhew themfclves touch'd will be
Funners of themfclves.
The Muse indeed ingenuoufly owns, fhe de-
ligned a flight fling, or fo, at fome gr^athf offends
ing FEW. Nor now at all repents flie. She
wrong*d neither of them in the fmalleft Tittle,
when flie defcribed their ridiculous ftrutting Mien,
their fulfome fantaftic Behaviour, to fay no worfe,
at all Tinges. And, alas ! did I but relate that
vile, cruel, yet fottifla. Attempt upon my very
Life^ (entirely innocent and faulUefs in Deed,
Word^
(a) R$Jctus^ via. Our worthy good Friend Mr. Jou
Fo o T.
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P J?ȣ PACE. xvii.
^ffet^y 9nd Thpugl>i:y) the Day, tl^e very mad
..Day, Twclyp-montji af^cr the ^ra oi tbie !Poen?,
.vij5. ^n .5^. 1738, vh/gn the Mayoralty of Mr.
C u^ M B was j|Lift upon its E^^r^ion ; — by him-
fdf the &id Rig^ WorflupfiJ, the then R-c-d-r,
and divers cojle^ed AlJermen ; and thefe goaded
on by T|ij^TUL|t^v^ SfscuKDUSf of Croak -Ifm:
All jgulji of JF.wy; Subfcrviently , aided by a Pof*
. fc of pyer-officious Cpnftables, ,and Mfik-Qffnftabks
for ^ JDay : — I Ay> 4id I> as I mighti fully detail
the yilc Affair, Readers might cry Amazement!
at my uncommon Paflivity, and think me indeed
PidgeoH'lroer'd^ in not having been adequately fe-
nm'e upon them, 'fyit L pretty well expp^^d their
headlong Doings, and fatisfa£ix>rily aveng'd myfelf,
then forthwith, in my News-paper^
I particularly coo&fi to have t4>{x^d a. poeitc
Fillip or two on fome qi the latterly mcntion'd
inferior Great Onesy at whofe Head march' d^ or
rather praneed^ my worthy fwcct Brother Geo.
C-M-NGs: HE, who endeavoured, by Wheedle,
to feducc my very Daughter, as H E thought and
defigifdy to get her own Father murdered in the
* Name of Law. In letting forth his coxcombic
Air in the Ambulation to the Life, the Muse
has aim'd at doing ieis than Juftice : As all who
remember him will, I believe, amply tcftify, —
N. B. He being higheft Bidder for the Short
Staff, or C^ptmnfiip ^ call'd, procured ^c faid
Truncheon to he ornamentally tipp'd at each End
Wth Silver, and bis Name, &c. engravM diereon.
c Bornj^
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xviii- PRE FA C k. .
Born, bred, brought up, and having always
dwelt, in this City, I have a fort of natural In-
clination to love her, as my Mother, and wiffi
finccrely for her Welfare. And having been well
accepted, arid in the main handfomly treated, from
my puerile Days upward, by the Generality even
of the Better Sort, I joyfully congratulate my wor-
thy Townfmen on the happy Refonnation of Bfe-
haviour that hath in Pari already takert place, cfpc-
cially at Eleftions, — though not as yet to ali Per*
feaiofij and fuch as, we hope. Time will gradually
bring aboutr
and
uriiig aLFuuu
And, oh ! may this my playlbme Satires
JQCular.Rcbuke, greatly conduce thereto !
During my poor Remains of Life I fliall heartily
wi(h a Continuance of Profperity, and growing
Reputation, in all Refpeds, to this my beloved
native E XE TER — (from which no Endeavours
have prcvaird to draw me away) ^- till wjth 4II
Other Places Ihe he, at laft, djlTolvecJ.
Andrew BRiCf«
P. S. 1 beg it m^ be rememberM all along,
that all the Notes and Comments were written at the
fame Time with the Poem itfelf, except a few ad-
ditional recent ones, for DiQ:in6lion*$ iakfi doix^ in
ft^Hcsj ^d included in Crotches [ ]|.
PROEM.
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• ■--"- — -gg
PRO E M.
HO W Lords dcfun<a grow Cberu^s. may
pertain
To reaching Bards, — who Heav n explore,—
the Strain ;
Who ken, with licensed Eyes of glaring Hope,
Beyond the Stars, through Fancy's Telefcope }
PufF'd by fome feigned Urania to the Flight "
Where Rapture bids the Things ofSenfe good-
night.
Be theirs with ttief cehary Fibs to treat
How Heav'n refpeSis the Perfons ■*— of the
Great !
Worthies of virtuous Indigeiice — ( For why
May Virtue not fubfift With Permry ?) —
Might nobly ftarving die, nor Half a Line
Canonize Them, or at their Fate repine.
To fee them ibar admits no iideling Glance
Towards the Poet's Penfion or Advance ;
Whilft Pimps to Pride by glav'ring Lays may
thrive.
Who praife the Dead -— to flatter the Alive.
c 2 . Not
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2 PROEM.
Not Us by fuch Abufe of Verfc BeKoves
To compliment vain Mortals up to J o v b s j
Though — (fram'd of an unfafhionable Mood)—
We'd celebrate the fcorrfd, brave, tattcr'd.
Good;
Adore true WoKTft ahd Righteousness in
Thrall,
And bow to Merit in. an HofpitaL
Be't humble ours, impartial our*, to fliew.
In earthly Rhime, Deeds Vifiblfc bfeli!w.
Nor far let our domeftk Genius roahi,
Impuls'd to (a) chaunt but Vulgar F^^tB
at Home:
Yet fcorn> like (b) Bird in bcJrroW'd Plutxies,
to grace
With pilfer'd Diftion Thoughts of Cottiihon-
placa
And may, if well fucceeds our timely Aim,
More ufeful prove the lovv, the kid Thcnie.
We own it meah, -— yet not of Matter poorj
Nor find the ricfeded Srit^iSt fuhg before,
(4). Alluding to Horace's ^^^^Vlft^ia Gi^k
Auji defer ere^ it celebrare donuftica fgfh* *
(h) BiHi &c. According to.^te'FaHc;
THE
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^k, ♦ SS • ^ »•♦ ^ * il ♦ :5|k [
i-»;jr • ^^ • XX '•' XX ♦ 3Mt ♦^F'i
T H fe
M O B I A D ;
OR,
Battle of the Voiced
CANTO I.
OF Mobs, and Mifchiefs which from
Mob BIN 6 fpring^
And pell-mell Battle of the VoIce,
I fing:
Nor that alone ; ^-^ fbr oft' the Conteft kncMfS
Vdce roughly feconded by Fifty BloWd^
And Knocks more folid whieh hard (t) Nod^
dks throw.
And Gripes and Tugs above, and Kidb below;
Whilft,
(c) Ikdilis.) Though NoddU properly figciifies but tfie
Oui^ium^ or Hjiicler-P«rt of tile Head i yet is it anoflg
%he Vi%ar ut'd for ibi jHM entire ; bufrufi^dtddfeedfome*
wM cofieetnpcuottflyi like as a BM Hkiek ^ L^irHm^^
&c. --- the beft HelKb in tba WcWU far BoMtn^ Bmk»9
and Cudgellers.
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4 He MOBIAD, of,
Whilil^ in Chfe Hugs, clandeftine Tooth and
Naa,
Unmanly, with difhoneft Wounds prevail *
That Scratches, Bumps, Black-Eyes, and Plai-^
fters worn,
Vefture befmear'd with trickled Blood, and
torn,
Di^ointed Thumbs, and many a fefter'd Scar,
Record the Fury of the baleful War.
This War, — this Gallimawfry of Debate,
Which I, — " Thing tonattempted yet ! '* —
relate.
This War owns Fellows-AU, like Football
Play,
And, — as if All Mankind were of one Claty,— i
Piftiniftion quits, ^^ that Offal Mumpers boafi
Themfelves fo good as Rulers of the Roafl i
Makes Tides ftoop, and with exalting Fire
Scrubs face a Knight, and Scoundrels fide a
(d) 'Squire,
Levels
(d) Country Efquifes and Gentlemen having of late [vin^
about thi Time of fmiting this fom\ verjr politely mingled «
with the common Townfinen at Ele^ons for Mayor, as
mdcb as for Membera of Farlument, a» Im9ttnify Freetmn.
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Batik oj the Voice. 5
Levels fix*c[ Merchants of Bale'd Staple Ware
With Merchants vagrant in a Peddling Fair;
Sets Ale-men, Alms-men, Aldermen, in Band^
Tight by each other, brotherly^ to ftand ;
Makes Matters lift with Journeymen, and beats
Shopkeepers to take on with Garrettcers 5
Rebellious Sons, unnatural of Tongue,
Brave theirs, perverfly, froih whofc Loins they
fprung;
Flim-finew'd Taylors with a bluft ring Rage
Tarpawlings, bred in Tempefts, to engage;
Saint-Methodifts communicate in Din,-^
Strange Coalition I — with the Dead in Sin j
Smutched Colliers, armour'd in girt Horfehair
Bags,
With mealy Millers to exchange their lFags\
Mean Oftlers Big Innholders to oppoie ;
Lean Weavers dare fat Clothiers to the Nofc /
Spruce Valets cop? gruflF Qrooms with rugged
Noife,
And Learn'd Attorneys Clerks — radc 'Preq-p
tice Boys 5
Makes Throats divine, whence Anthems ibar
, on high.
Chime in with theirs who Rags or RahUts cry ;
Makes
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-Makes Ifevdo; Slaves who frowfy (f) Urine
driye
Wkfe #;&»»» Wb» *aw Por/ •$ racy Wine
^WlfPm^ ,9f 0m^PP f^}l prophanely ruOi
On %sito»J, W^ ^f Wy Chancel brufh j
Hod-b«5iR?iiSi ^4 ^yhQt^ifl|ple O*, to bawl
AsM fh^ i*^*^ Vp-m^ of ^« Wall J
Tinker his Powder black with Barber's white,
A94 ^1994 QO )|u(K:kfr* imfSing, to uiJ^es
Bn^$ <Jitfeerj!!« /Ijf T*3S»$ |Qtvi4 to vi<?
With C^^Tf^s i9f Afljfis tpj- to m^kfi hki
Tf#-n<ieiii»g, bf.»kc Ha'pc«ny-Pamph^eteer$
^^^ ho^ ^*l»rl ^j9ii^ jthw Printers Ears j
Debtee's not dodge the Bum's rapacious Paw,
If or from jftef«a 'fikadle iliach poor Beguts-^-
Make? Juftifle, ^iKgifWl^d, .^W §editiou felj,
yind Tbiff b^fc a ^mpapiop Copftable j
Them mingles who gauge Barrels, --f or rid
Command or School or Jail, y— of fcrw the
Ho||S.}
Dung«
(t) Viz. to the FulIIng-Milk, from the ftinking Abodfl*
'•f^hc Fenale Colkaots of it, (f) Tavera Dfawcrs,
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Batik of the Voice. y
Dung-carriefs, Cooks, and who Catharticks
vend^ [mend j
Gems, Gewgaws, Grots j Bibles or Bellows
Subfift by Cards Of Cocks^ Heifs, Hurts, or
Hops; [Mops J
Make Coffins^ Crowdi^ Malt,- Marriages, or
Teach Birds or Witnefles i Eftates convey
Or Rubbilh J fniugglc, or watch Ships at Kayi
Cutters of Corks, Corns, Capers j Every Sort
And Si^e of Folk j fuch greedy War (in (hort)
As for Recruits craves Blind and Halt, nor fails
To rake the Hofpitals and fkim the Jails.
Yea, frail Inforcement Troops of Manhood
glads
From crazy Dotards and yet callow Lads 3
Worn wrifled Crones, green Girls, and mellow
Maids, [Aids ;
Wives, Wh — , or Widows, ferve as fcolding
Unbreecheft Urchins lifp their puny Might,
And puling Chits fquall to affay the Fight.
A f True-
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$ 72^ MOBIJDi or,
^ True-humourM Pow'r of righteous R i D ir
c u L E,
That jeers the idle Hurry of the Fool j
Brands Villains whom Laws reach not, as in
Game>
And fneers the Fop's Vainglory into Shame 5
Religion's Hood from Hypocrites can fteal.
And the falfe Patr'ot through his Mafk reveal 5
Degrade bad Minifters in Seats fublime,
And gibbet Judges, when unjuft, in Rhime :
Thou, — who gav'ft Butler, in his
Hudibras,
To fwinge the Whims of each fanatic Clafs 5
Butler, who cou'd with mimic Sportings
teafe,
Chide with a Smile, and withCorredion pleafe ;
Thou, — - who Boilau taught'ft with
facetious Taunt
Priefts deadly Dudgeon for the (g) Desk to
chaunt,
(Dudgeon, which made Rome's ghoftly
Gluttons keep
Fafts uninjoin'd, and Sluggards baulk a Sleep)
When
(g) la his Poem call'd The Lctiiim, in Englifh a Z>s*.
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-^Baftk of the Voice. g
When in a Saint's calm Chappie it befell
That (b) earthly Wrath with heav'nly Minds
cou'd dwell,
Whilft the proud Prelate curft Revenge ex-
prefs'dj
As he in folemn Prank the Chauntor blefs'd :
Thocj, who Ihew'd'ft (i) Garth with
Wit's poetic Mawl
On his own jarring Faculty to fall.
And frump fage Warwick-Lane's traniport--
ing Feud, [Blood,
Confeffing (k) Poean*s Sons the Sons of
That with unlicensed Ufe of mortal Skill,
Whilft fcap*d the Stick, they'd one another
kill;
Kill without Phyfick, and, furprifing ! fee
Death-Pangs with Pleaflire, — though without
a Fee :
A 2 Thou,
(h) Anfwe^ng to Virgil's -Tantani anims cakfiihus
(1) Viz. in his Poem call'd The Dispensary.
C^JPoBAN, the Name of ApoJ^^, properly as tb«
God or Fathcy of Phyficians,
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10 The MOB IAD I cr,
Thou, Concord's Goddefs! Thou moft
ufeful Muse!
Mc kindly to explode vile FACTION ufe.
Whom friendly Piques, benevolent in Ire,
To fcofFdown fhrcwd, yet^mpty, Scjuables
fire!
A Lancet-Pen, fet fweetly keen, prepare
For my Attempt, by thy condudting Care,
The Boil to ope with fuch chirurgiq Art>
Jts Point may tickle with a wholefome Smart I
What might deipair the Pulpit, Bar, and
Stage, [Rage,
E'er to atchieve, though (hou'd combine their
May 'ft Thou, by-ftanding, from the abler Prefs
Accompliih with a Wonder of Succefs ! '^
Since Sermons fstil, let a Deferiptive Flout,
Held a refleding Mirrour, bring about ;
With Raillery cut vicious Follies down,
And force to Laughter, to reform, the Town !
^Twaj
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Battle of the Voice. ij
^Twas thus with Joke to honeft (I) Vulcan
giv'n
-To reconcile an houfliold Brawl in Heav'n ;
Whofe feafon'd Check, divine Buffoon ! — be-
guil'd [mild.
J o V E *s Wrath, and turned ev'n Vixen Juno
He limp'd to fill, with Mein of comic Sort,
The Peace-confirming M a^er of the Court.
Each boon Celeflial quaff *d, in jovial Round,-
His brimful Bowl, with nappy Nedar crown i
And Party Heats in focial Pledgings drown*
nd,i
id,[
I'dJ
Help me rebuke, thus, our Inteftine Fight
By painting it ridiculous to Sight :
' Yet, though be drawn in ftrong Grqtefque tho
Strife,
Be all defign'd and coloured from the Life,
Good-natur'd the Intention, though fevere
Sometimes our Verbal Pidurings appear.
Who, — ludicrous of Indignation, — provQ
Joqofe in Cenfure, and inveigh in L«oye|
Aod^
(1) Vulcan.) See Hom. lUad^ Book i. alt tiie Coih
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12 ^e MOB IAD I or.
And, fcattVing Blanie 5mi4 the bUmcful
Throng,
Drub but with Drollery and fcourge in Song»
Yet firft it*s fitting we in Grief rehcarfe
Our wretched Change )n fpme more ferious
Verfe,
Led blind from (m) Wifdom's peaceful Paths
aftray, '
And pitch'd in Folly's deep difturbed Way,
Or headlong ruflb'd from flighted Welfare's
Height,
To plunge and flounder in a rueful Plight.
f In A L B I o n's Wefl: erjl throve a Town
(ere more
There Mobs prevaiVd than (n) Monks
fo heretofore)
On' which fair (o) Isca fervile waits, whofe
Site
Nature to load with Dainties own'd Delight,
And
(m) Alluding to WiJdonCi tfays arc Ways of Pkafant-^
fi0f$^ and all her Pajbs art Peact*
(n) 'Exiter was oncefo over-run with Monaftcnes,
and the Vermin therein fed, that it obtain*d the Nickname
Mmitott.
(o) IscA, or I/c, the River, now pponounced Sx^^
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^dttle of the Voice, 13
And by her (p) Works fence'd from Annoys
to Health,
Whilfl: with Home Plenty vy*d Imported
Wealth:
For did its (q) Empory in Gain furpafs.
Though now fob we the Boaft what Com-
merce^ was !
There ///^ indulgent Peace (as Antients tell)
And gay GooD*Nf:iOHBouRHooD> fweet
Couple ! dwell.
Nature to pamper yet abides j but, ah !
Did friendly Love, off hifs'd, with Trade
withdraw.
In ftead, Spleen, Difcord, and Contention, have
Flung murder'd Peace in an opprobrious
Grave,
Laid infamous Infcriptions on her Tomb,
And voted Death eternal as her Doom.
That
(p) Her Works,) The City being naturally cncbmjftf-
fed with Hills, which help to break the Force of injurious
Winds, &c.
(q) Empory.) The Woollen Manufafture atid Trade
in former happy Days exceedingly flourifli'd here in every
Branch of it.
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14 "the MOBIADyor,
That Goodwill Angels pfalm'd from Heavn
of Yore
Is own d our Duty and true Blifs no more.
Sweet Moderation's deeni'd a fneaking Sin,
A treacherous Gate to let Deftrudion in ;
Whilft headftrong Paffion and a rampant Zeal
For ftormy Nonfenfe aggrandize our Weal !
Hence ragged Penury hath feiz'd the Place,
And Defolation much deform'd its Face.
(r) Houfes, fliut up, with difmal Fronts
declare,
Unhop'd a Tenant of a patched Repair.
Yea fome, by Rats themfelves abandoned, own,
Their tptt'ring Symptoms, and for Ruin groan ^
Or fain, as if by the difgraceful Doom
Denounced in Scripture, Hills of Dung become,
Too like our (s) Rock-Lane\ moft upbraiding
Ground,
Where once were Charitable Manfions found,
On which lo ! Mountains of curfl: Rubbifli rife.
To draw, like Babel, Vengeance from the
Skies.
Hence
{r) [Such nalfy was the Cafe at the Ttme rtferr*d to^
(in 1737 &r 1738.) when the Poem was moflly wrote*}
(s) I7he Complaint is now taken offJ]
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Battle cf the Voice ^ 15
Hence Induftry, which^ by a fkilful Handi^
Adorns, and fortifies with Wealtli, a Land,
Baulk'd and defpis'd, fcarce lives j or feems no
more
Than a mad Induftry here to be poor.
Hence we to Swarms of cumbrous Idlers owe.
Self-fliaming Sighs, and Looks of guilty Woe,
Who might for worthy Bread with honeft Joy
Their gainful Hands in profper*d Arts imploy.
But that, with.epidemic Itch o'er-run ^
For Mobbing, they the Means of thriving fhun,
And vy in Labour to be mod undone. ^
Be yet confefs'd the Joy (nor let our Foes
Couch'd here a knavifli Irony fiJppofe)
That with our abjedt Dregs of Folk alone
Such beggVing Fury holds a lawlefs Throne I
Joy that no Ruler's Bent permits to fear
(t) A roaring Lion or a ranging Bear !
B No
(t) Roaring Lim$ &€. Sea Prov. xxviii. x j*
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i6 fbe MOBIjiDi or,
No Turbulence of Soul can recommend
One who fhould to confervc the Calm afcend !
Nor Candor's deemed, but by the Rafcal Race,
A Vice difqualifying for a Place !
No : Men of Poft the Way of Peace purfue,'
Though rais'd in Uproar by a fadious Crew !
, But hourly we in Vulgar Converfe find
A froward Jargon harrows up the Mind, .
One, ceafelefs, dull, coarfe Tintamar of Prates,
Fatiguing Senfe, a manly Hearing grates.
Thence due Complacence and humane Deport
- Excluded are, or but receiv d for Sport.
Contention which, when Night's illumined
Queen
Was in twelve full re-borrow'd Luftres feea.
Here fought difturbing Reign by Law a Day,
Now through the Year affedts diforder'd Sway,
More vile, more horrid, ihocks with frefh
Alarms, -.
[Arm&p
And, reftlefs, keeps her Standing Troops to
In
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[done !
Well haft thou, good and faithful Servant,
Bdttle of the Voice. \y
In this frail Age oi Ahjlinence ! when die
"The Great — quick as the Little brujh away^
And fome One of our (u) Guardians Twice a
Score
Mounts on the Bleffings of their feafted Poor !
That fcarce a Mgnth the Sky*s bright Burghers
mifs
To welcome fome juft Steward to their Blifs,
And hear th' Approbat from tV Empyrean
Throne,
.tc
And " Bleffed, comes for Heaven (hall reim-
' '^"'^^' [Purfe!" ,
" With Gain, the Lendings of thy empty 'd
Elections oh Elections crowd fo faft,
A new begins ere a preceeding's paft.
B 2 Such
(u) Guardians.) The Corporation of Guardians of the
Poor, Forty in Number' When one of the Number dies>
another is always to be elefted in his flead ; which Eledion
^ '^[vjas at the Time herefatiriz^d']— carry'd on, oftentimeSji
with more Noife and Party Fury than in fome Places per-
liaps that of Reprefentatives m Parliament.
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i8 '^be MOBIJDi or.
Such chaunt we not, nor which in Senate
gives
To fit the Town's (xj Twin Reprefentativcs :
Sing we but what, in Annual Courfe, came on
The Day of Old devoted to the (y) Moo n.
When Sol Two Se'enights hac} qbliquel
his Chair r^ I
[Career, >
WheeVd fjnce from (^) Six to Six he made j
With fainter Beams in our coor4 Hemiiphere: J
About that Tide when Geefe, in Panniers fcjuat,
Turn up alluring Shows of copious Fat ; ,
That Day {a) when firft, enwrapped in flabby
^^'' [Oifter- Drags,
Our (A J SjARCRoss Mcr-M^ids caft their
Whofe
(x) Two Reprefentativcs for this City in Parliament.
(f) Moony i. e. Monday ^ fo ca}lM from our Heathen Saxr
pn Anceftprs on that Day worfliipping the Moon.
. {%) Six to Six) yiz, about ^ Fortnight fince Sept. 1 1 jCXS.
(a) That Day) viz. the Monday before Michaelmas-Day,
(b) The fame Day on which we cjioofe our Mayor, the
Oifter- Women of gtarcroft, &c. are allowed to begin drag*
ging for Oiftcrs,
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Battle of the Voice. 19
Whofe fiihy Ends, hid in their modeft Boats^
Need not like Trowfers form their Petticoats:
That Year when Pilchards (c) to Our Betters
fliew'd
Too plenteous to be fajhionably good,
With whom goes down no cbefiply^vulgar Meat^
But (learnM with artful Elegance to cat)
Force'd Viands praife, of recommending Coft,
When out of Kind, as out of Seafon, moft :
Year fince Diftillers wail'd the mulded Sin
Which foothM th^ Torture of the Guts with
Gin,
Save whe» Two Gallons, fold exempt of Awe,
From crimelefs Cogues, as 'twere made drunk
^y^"^- [Spell
That Year when {d) Crux (as by Magician's
Ghofts dragged arife> but flip again to Hell)
Slunk
(c) Scarce ever within Memory were Pilchards fo plen-
tiful and cheap in thefe Parti as in this Year I737»— ^ Some
of the Gentry efteem'd them a Nuifance.
(d) Trmtlt Crcfs^ ££)> ^ certain half-mad half*foo!
'S^uire^
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20 The M OBI AD ^ or.
Slunk from his ManJion']dA\ with four Regret,
And chokjor onc€ to pay the charging Debt ;
But> fick of naufeous Creditors, agen
For Cure reclaim'd the Dun-defying Den,
That Year when in the fair Six-Gated Clofe
To GOD devoted, (though there {e) Mam- 1
^d, (though there (^) Mam-
As (/) Limes hadfaiPd, young thriving Elms J
Yet ere arrives the critic Day, whereon
The FiQHT Decisive muft be loft or won,
Alehoufe
'Squire, of a very good Eftate, who never caring to pay any-
body, ly'd perpetually in Jail : But at this Jundurc fearing
the Aft for the Relief ot Infolvent Prifoners for Debt would
afFedl his Lands and Tenements, he paid the Debt he was
charg'd in Cuftody for, and came out. Though he prefently
took care to return back to his faid beloved Habitation. 1$
not fuch an one a proper Objedi for Satire ?
(e) The Church-yard, where our Merchants, &c. &c.
aflemble to talk of Trade and Bufmefs, &c.
(f) Some Years after the prodigious great Storm in
1703 in rodm of die very large Elms which had been torn
up by the Roots, were Lime-Trees orderly planted ; but
not thriving, indeed gradually dying, EI^« uere, as at pre**
font, planted their SucceiTors, and flourilh well.
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Battle of the Voice, 21
Alehoufe Alarms, Street Camps, and Kennel
Wars,
Prelude th* Heroi-Comi-Tragi-Farce,
Not brooking well wifh'd Time's too tardy
^ . Flight,
0*er Pipe and Quart, many a lingering Night,
With Fronts of Council, in important State,
Huge as of Germany th* Electors mate.
Scarce paramount Receivers of Excife
Heap Royal Pelf in more majeftic Guife.
Scarce with a Swell of more judicious Look
Foremen of Juries kifs the Sacred Book.
Scarce Parifh- Warden, at an Eafter Feaft,
Nods Bigger, toafted by th' obliging Prieft.
The Baptift Saint fcarce at Stich-^Hatt may fee
More grand the- Chiefs of Cabbage-Company.
Scarce a bluff Skipper, in his Realm of Wood,
Top'd up a petty Godhead of the Flood,
iWith kembo*d Arm, full Paunch, and bully
Face, ^ Grace.
O'er Punch-bowl fmoaks with more elated
- - Scarce
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22 ^ MOBIADi or^
Scarce ftroUing Hero in Stage<Buikinaxlreft>
Plum*d Helmet, ermin'd Robe, and gcmmy
Vcft, .
Between the Ads a nughder Afped wears,
Whilft He upon the Candle-fnufFer fwears.
Nay, an Ale-Draper fcarce, — (who through
*'^""8 [Dung.
Once Barrels fcour'd of Dregs, fwept Stalls of
But now by Sots fo (g) danid enrkVdlo d?ck
With Golden Chain his Heirefs Daughter's
N"") [Po„.
At Door, in cufliionM Chair,, with Grander
Extends his Cloath-Shoe Signal of the Gout.
Talk in Alliance future Deeds difplays.
And fcarce a Brag but which its Thouiand flays;
Or (where in common Room, opposed in Will,
Men, jumbled dofe. Mugs independent fwill)
At
(t) Danfd is now by many us'd as die Superlative
Degree, as fignifying very much^ My Meaning is, enridi'd
by diihoneft Means i what is too common.
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Bmh of the Fence. 1^3
At Variance to a prefent Charge invites^
And bickering Boafts prove Overtures of Fights 3
Loquacious Tongues in pelliAell Clutter run.
As Breathings ere the Battle Main's begun.
Ale-houfes diftant vent their Clafh fo ilrong,
As if did all to one joined Rout belong :
Xnd yet diftinguiih we from vtrhence and whom
Th' emphatic Twangs of boift Vous Babble come.
So, on th* Inauguration of a King,
Whfen greater Six of our great Ten Bells ring,
Beyond the reft we note, each mighty Round,
The Cadence from huge (A)Grajjdison
refound.
, Pistol the Second flafhing Bounce lets off.
More furly rendered by a mingled/Cough.
CuLTER (/) (whom ShzKs'of liquid Bets tepicc)
Sputtc;rs his dire. Ferocity of Voice.
C T£STY,
(i) Grandifon^ from the Bifhop of that I^ame who gave
k, is the Name of the largeft of Qur Bells in PeaU
0) Ben. Comijb^ the Guttler,
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24 Hi MOBIADi cr^
Testy, whofe Clamour foarls^ with Looks
afkewj
Holds forth as if he hallow'd for the Blue ;
Whilft (i) GLA8SMAN9 tamelefs by a Thou*
fand Bangs,
As bold a Clangour for the Telltm twangs,
Throughstitch (/) the faucy, who, each
Quart, outlies
All * Philomaths who ere mif-read the Skies,
And irritates corre<3:ing Fifts and Feet,
Is heard to bellow through a Mile. of Street.
Castor (tn)^ with creaking Words, half
fnuffled, brays
Odious as, wrangling, he at Cribbage plays :
Ne'er did a hampered Hog whine fo abhorr'd.
Nor Gelder's Clarion naftier Shriek afibrd.
SwiL-
(k) Ingram (the firft of the Family) the Glazier.
(I) Tbroughjlitch.) This Spark had his CharaAer drawn
long before tliis Time as — 'A pert, noify, empty, prag-
matical, prefuming, impudent, contemptible^ aboBiinable,
Coxcomb, Lyar, &c. &a
• Philomaths.) • Almanack-makers;
(m) B^nghf^m, the Hatter, .
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Battle of the Voice. 25
SwiLGALLON («), kvifli of moFC Roar by half
Than Apewell mimicking Owl, Afs, and Calf,
Blafts his big Organs in a deeper Key i
Than Horns, and Hounds, and Bumpkins, I
]
raife, when they
With joint Cry open'd fcare the chaced Prey
Morn, Even, Noon, and iiitervening Hours,
Infulting Terrors now befiege our Doors.
Where'er ye turn, reproachful Flings jre meet.
And lubberly Affronts oppofe your Feet.
A currifh Growl, and a deep maftive Bark,
Bays you in Light, and follows in the Park :
(0) H-a-a-a-h \ with Barbarity of Look gnarrs
one.
Like Butcher's D6g o*er a defended Bone,
Plain in the Mufcles of whofe ruffian Face
The Wifh of bloody Maffacre ye trace :
C 2 Concerters
(n) SwilgalUn. Johu St-v-n!^,
(0) H-a-a'ah /) They pronounce this ugly fpitcful Hab
with a rugged, harlh, grating fort of a Quaver, much
I^ngthen'd, like the arringor gnarring Growl of a great Dog.
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26 tbc MOBIADi or,
Concerters run to back the odious Cry>
And^ grinning, fnarl a furly Symphony.
Next flock grotefcjue around a fauntVing Crew>
And pcrfecute you with Sound for tpe Blue!
Or fcarcc lefs horribly your Padence wound
With like Annoyance, For the Tellowfofind!
Confused you compafs, leap with daihing Pace,
And ydp foul Jeers with impudent Grimace ;
With flourifh'd Felts, perhaps fkin-deep, aflail
Your Face, and rankling leave a ghaftly Ail.
Though paflive ye mute expedite your Way,
Outrage obfcene will after you inveigh,
N^y, thankful be if ye fp clean evade.
Nor more material PeftVings cannonade.
When no (lain Cat, Clout, Shoe, nor Filth
advance.
Salute yourfelves the Favorites of Chance j
Bleft if you flip their fcarifying Claws,
Or fcape expe^Sorated Shot from Jaws.
Sing Laud in Rapture, if unkickM your Shin,
Though fpattcr'd, ftinking, drips entire of Skin.
View
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Battk of the Voice. 27
View with Delight your footed Hat compound
For Coat's not fweeping, with You dragged,
the Ground.
Nay, if o'ercaft, for Miracle record j. , , ^
That Ye arife nor bruis'd, ilamp*d, punch'd nor
And hymn Te Deum, as for Life's Return,
If a fore-grip'd, not ftrangled. Throat ye mourn.
[forbear
What though fomc Topping Vulgar may
In Perfon to aflaflinate your Ear,
Too often they fuborn th* Inferior Mob
With vaiTal Rage you of your Peace to rob :
With hir'd Sedition they direft the Broil,
And pay in Drink the Wages of the Toil.
So thofe whom Maftives combating delight.
To ftimulate them to the fangy Fight,
Stroke firft their harc|y Loins, then to purfue
With fervile Barkings cry AUoo! Alloo! pp
And, when they have fuftain'd the prompted
Spit in their Mouths the filthy liquid Pay.
End ofthtfirji Cdnto.
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28 rbe MOBIAD'y &r.
A
CANTO II.
T length that (a) Monday which the
Daypreceeds, ^^^^^^
When prais*d the brave (^) Arch-Angers dough-
Heav'n's Captain, by whofe Loyal Army fell
The Rebel Legions, now the Thralls of Hell j
While poor and thoughtful Tenants fore lament
The fad Defers of the laft Quarter's Rent,
And mortgage Gown, Sheet, Rug, and Difh,
to blefs
Bed, Crock, and ufeful Pitcher, from Diflxefs j
That joyous Monday, dawping in the Skies,
Awakes pert Gladnefs in th' Elecflors Eyes.
Whip!
(a) Monday, viz. the Monday before the Feaft of St.
Michael^ appointed the Da^y for the Choice of a new Mayor.
(h) Arch- Angel. St. Michael. Sec the Service for
the Day, &c. &c.
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. Battk of the Foice. 29
Whip ! the moft forward bolt unbuttoned out.
And, kenning, throw their partial Looks about j
Then, joining, to Difcourfe o*er canvafs'd owe
Prognofticks how the Day's Affair will go :
And where the Doors firft ope for Tipple's Sale,
Time's Forelock feizing, /ie?/^ courageous Ale.
Now Kitchen-Maids, knock'd up by Cbu^
rers(c)^ flretch
Unready Limbs, and Sighs of Envy fetch.
The Stage-Coach iPorter, malapert of Tone,
Swears Jehu, long-findb ready, will be gone:
The up-fcar^d Paflenger brief Stay implores;
And yet an Hour the drunken Jolter fnores.
With owly Eyes the ftrolling Seekers ik\i\^^
And hopeful peer at Stall, Porch, Door, and
The clean Difchargers, with rince'd Cools be-
Stoln back — as if alham'd of ^^ finding Gold.
Seet
(c) Chureri) So ia Enitir «re called thofe p Lmdw
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30 The MQBJADi cr.
See ! chafte Aurora grows with Blufhies red
Efpying Phoebus fprung from TEXHYsVBed,
Or flatting Cats from am'rous Scratchings come.
Or naughty Trcntices flunk drawfy home.
The Drummer, on high (d) Rugemont*s
crumbling Mound^
Beats ftrong the bold Rcvelle's roufing Sound*
Whiftling to River waggles Groom on Steed 5
And Milkmaids jocund to Teat-tugging Ipeed.
The Scavenger drags on his rumbling Carr ;
And Gentry's led to guard the Chief of War.
The Sixth Hour Bell with venerable KnoH
Bids Wakers mind -^ or Body or the Soul :
This World's Folk up, and wordly Work
• attend j
Andt'other's to celeftial Bus'nefs bend.
Tilers
(d) The Hill on which our CaiUe ftands, and ii\ which
the Regiments, at Times, quartered in this City keep Guard,
is called Rugemont, from the Rednefs of the Earth. [I
think, beating the ^eUt^ wc knaw^uot Why^ has :of latttr
Years been difus'd.J
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Bettk of the Voice, 31
Tilers Ahd Mafonr by their Brifknefs (how.
They idly to no whole Day's Labour go.
Taylors^ not francUsd^ with a loitering Gait,
Till Bell rings (^) qtiick^ before King's -Alley
wait.
It rings : They fhrugging budge a lazy Pace,
And o^er the Shoulder turn a grudging Face.
It rings : The £untly few who feel the Mood,
And Liberty, and Ldfure^ to be good^
With Lips in Form to Duty fet, and Eye
Fraught with Religion's Glance, to (f) Mattins
hie.
Handmaids behold, who have, in ColdoiTHy^
The pious Orders proxywife to pray^
Whofe Ladies indifpos'd,— by Sloth,— a-bed.
Depute 'em to a£t heav'nly in their ftead,
D On
(i) At Six o'Qock a Bdl knoUs, or tolls, for Prajm,
at the Cadiedral ; then a Bell rings quick to give Notice
diat Prayers are about to begin. [In King's AUey, at the
Time of writing this Poem, liv'd 3 or 4 Maftcr Taylors of
principal Bufinefi. j
Cf) Matdns. MoningFtey^r.
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3a 1^ MOBJADyor^
Oa Pattifls trip,— with lanAimonious Charms^
Starched (g) clainly neat, with Pray'r-books
under Artns. ^ .
[arawn,
YoUng /^/ Choirifters, from Neft rcludlaiir
To Worfhip truant, forced Devotion yawn.
Bui VqiGes voluntier make fliift to faife.
By Organs though unaided, worthier Praife^
Lefs artijBcial Praife, while in the Soul
Heav'n may hear Meloiy (i)j tho* Voices growl.
The (^) Pile; of venerable Grandeur round "^
Efnits the folemn Tune : Th' enclo£ed
(/) Ground
Aoew fecros. hallow'd by the J&cred Sound.. ^
But whence that Noifc prophaiie ? Whence
thatfhrillShout,
Which improufly' quells the Diti devout ? '• '
-'-^ ' The
Ti) Cleonlymthi. Like IioKAi^Hftmpii)^nmH(Xiiisi:
""{h) Choflfieri, /t%e young Singing Bbjii. '..
"(i)' Mdody.y Ef)h/v. I9. Making Melodf in your tiecfrti^
ioGtB. ' •■ ^- •'• ^ - , r';;-
{k) Pile, &c. St. Peter's Cathedral Church. ''
(/) Enchfid Ground. &•• Petcr^^ofc. • ' - -■
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Battle ^ the Voice. . jj
(m) The Junior Mob fonorous uflier in
Their Claim of Pelting, and lewd Rites begin,
Whofe bufy Sholcs ranfack'd the Common-
fhore.
And rummag'd Dungheaps, for a batt ring Store.
Hog might in vain feek with fagacious Snojut
Apples worm-eaten or corrupt to rout. -
Da Did
(w) 7««iV MohJl The Boys. Our true-born Citizens
are ( Numbers of *em) train'd up to MohVmg from their
Cradles. To' the Praife of fuch a polifli'd People as we are,
our welUbred Infantry are permitted to fling Turneps^
Potatoes, Pieces of Cabbage-fblks, &c. at the poor Coun«*
trymen whole Bufinefs brings them into City this unlucky
Morning : At whofe Approach the young Mifchiefs, run*!*
ning to meet *em, fet up a Cry of A Broih$r ! A Brother t
A Brother ! ai>d f^U a battering of them immediately. If
one offer to rebuke them, (as I once prefumM to do, and
had like thereby to have brought not only them, hut fome
Loggerheads of the Shops, upon my own Back) they daringly
reply'd, 'T/x lawUfs Day I 'Tis kmkfs Day f And fo in-
deed might it be imagin'd, while fuch barbarous Outrages
(as feveral others at different Times, fuch as the Dafliing
up the Kennel- Water on PafTengers, which they call Strat-
ting, &c.) are not only tolerated in £fFe£it, but laugh'd at,
and thereby encourag'd. With Indignation I remember a
poor Mah had one of his Eyes thus actually oh the Spot
ftruck out by one Butler^ who afterwards attempted witli
others to fire the Deanry-Houfe, &c. So they grow up
to Villainy by Degrees, — N^o r^ente fit turpijfmus.
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'•^■^
Did pregnant Sows for out-caft Onions long.
The grunting Mothers, fick> might caft their
Young.
Each plundered Gutter void of Turnip rillS|
Nor it a C^rot, or Potatoe, fills.
For diefe'ere Hesperus, with brilliant Light,
Led ilowly pji the laft impatient Night,
TJie Young Iniquities had fpuddling found}
Arms from aloof by miffive Force to wouncj*
Parfnips ^n4 Cabbage-ftalks, to handy Size
Cut up, glad with augniented Store their Eyes,
The Ammunition fwells each Pocket ftrout.
And each Hand bears ^e Surpluf^ge about.
Till Clown, mifled by fome malicious Stgr,
Yare by the Strippling Poflfe kenned afar.
And met beyond the mid-ws^ Diftance, gro^s
Th' afbnied Handfel of their volant ^lows. ,
jSharp Claipour fjropi their Throats in Concert
rings,
And ev'ry Hand a Root, icarce erring, flings.
4
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Battk oj the Voice. 3^
A Brother I Brother ! . they exulting cry j
And ShowVs, full Tcmpeft, quick repeated, iiy.
Repeated ? Yea, at a contiguous Rate
The Flingings whiftle an inceflant -Threat.
Not half fo frequettt noifomc Ware is known
On Peijur'd Heads thro' Penance Loophole
fhi-own J
Ev'n though fuch vile detefted Heads pertain
To the paid I^afcds of th' Informing Train^
Lpfs nijmerous a white long Winter fpics
From glowing Hands hard-kneaded Snowballs
rife, r^
[Birth
And Truncheons^ hurl'd to fplemnisje the
Divine, maul (n) Cocks Icfs fwift with
j;ijurd'|:ous Mirtji.
As
(n) (kcks.'] To the Credit of Parents, Maflers, Confia^
Ues, and otMr Overfeers, ought it to be over and over
mention'd, 'till the ideteftable Nufance ceafes, that the very
wicked Diverfion [Hsrrihk ! that the Human Nature can
ever be diverUd with Inhumanity] of Throwing at Cocks,
vifhich other wheres, I think, is thus moft barbaroufly prac-*
tifed but on Shrove->Tuefdays, not only continues here the
whole Chriftmas holy Days, but commences fome Wepks
before them. It's obfervable too that fome of thofe who are
tbe gceateii Sticklers for wl}at they pall cekhratb^ the folenm
Fcftival,
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36 "the MOBIADyor,
As be difcovers, ftaggcr'd and aghaft.
On Him. alone the frolick Mifchief caft.
Bleak Horror thrills his Veins, a qualmy Damp
In his chiird Bofom quails the vital Lamp :
The ruddy Brown his burnt Complexion fails,
And Palenefs o'er its freckled Flufli prevails.
His Vilder'd Thought * Whence his Offence '
ipquires.
What Rage this Infantry of Belidl fires ?
Why is, by the Adult, the Youngfter Crowd,
He ponders, thus to \p) gallow Folk allowed ?
To gallow ? Yea to gaul, perchance to lay
Folk fprawling, or by worfe Mifchangc to flay?
To
Feftival, too much countenance this horrible Pollution of it.
For Shame, ye Parents ! For Shame, ye School-mafters.
And why fliould I not fay. For Shame, ye Magiftrates, &c. ?
Jt's recorded of Diegtnn^ the Cynick, that feeing a Boy
commit a Fault, be ran at his Mafter, and ftriking him faid,
Wbirefan are yoftr Scholars not bitter taught ?
(a) Gall&w Folk.'] This being ftiU -^[vi». at the Time
/poke ^/}-r- a Dexi<mft)ire Word, though from Sh AK esp e ar
it feems to have formerly been generally En^Jh% implying^
to fright, fcarc, or aftonifli, is, 1 hope with Propriety
enough put into the Mouth ofaPevonfhire Ploiighniaa» &c.
We fcem to continue the Ufe of the Word in that oiGal^
lews^ or Gallow^Trte^ fignifjring the Terrifying Trc^ or
Tree of Terror.
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Battle of the Voice. 37
Were Bacon Sows in Years too ftrickcn found?
Did Pig yield up the Ghoft without a Wound ?
Or grow by Art in fopy Wrapper fair?
Were Eggs fold addle, or confounded dear?
Did Chanticleer^ of Threefcore Broods the Sire,
A cruel Length of Drop by Drop expire.
Then, lopp'd of Spurs, and circumcis'd of
Comb, X r 5
[room ?
-Look beauteous in young Fowl of Turkey's
Had breeding Geefe, fucceffive Ten Years (horn.
Their Teeth-proof Hides, to paft for youthy,
torn?
Was Butter ftamp'd to hide Defeft of Weight ?
Would Doll a ftroaking, or a' churning, fnite?
Such Guilt vf^^Dame'szxiA DolN^ and but infers
They could out- wit o'erweening (p) Citiners^
To
Ip) Giimrs.] So, alias fometimes Ziiimrs^ many of our
neighbourmg Country People name us Citizens ; whom they
iare proud to out tvtt^ that is in pisun EngUJh to cbiat^ in a
Bargain; It's tut Ktde to be doubted Pigs and Poultry which
died a tmtural or etcidtntal Death have been fold to us; IVe
been under the Rofc inform'd by a Farmer's Wife, it's com-
••*'.* ' mon
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j8 ^be MOBIADi or^
To Meajier^s Scord ought to be chalk'd the Sin
Of Faggots fmall, and fappy green, led in:
Him, him alone, (hou*d Maledidion fmite.
When, Jlifling pufF'd, thpy finoulder, loth to
light.
Who, teaz'd for Rent, permits their faulty Mirth
Whilft, finging, they with Froafh befpawl the
Hearth.
BiSlme^ Dolly and Medfier^ (inning, — let pertain
To tbem to expiate with fuited Pdn ;
But, for bimfelf, he ruminates, and through
Finds Confcience clear of Crime, tho' whelm'd
by Woe.
Then why fhou*d Innocence unholpen wail^
And wicked Pranks againft the Juft preva^ ?
He litde learns from the licentious Bray»
Commixt with Brother! LawU/s, lawkfi Di^f
Around
mon to wrap up Pigs in fopjr Cloths^ to make their Skins
caft white* . Some of die other Tricks I have myfelf known
pradtifed ; pariipukriy a very fuperannuated Cocky managed
as in the Text, fold for a young Turkey.
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> Battle of the Voice* 39
Around the fportive fierce Tormentors crowd.
Each to excel in Pranks mifchievous proud.
He wiftly turns for Help Imploring View,
Cits rural born, made Denizens,^ on You !
But, fleering pitilefs, ye rather chear
The Onfet, and the cruel Paftime (hare.
XJngracious^ en)il-minded Town ! Had Thrace
' Forfucb a (q) Poneropolis a Place?
Might he revolve in anguifh^d Heart, had he
Been fchool'd in Letters and Greek Hiftory.
With wretched Baulk he*d troWy Attacks
fohot
Might foon expepd the Vegetable-Shot :
For ah ! as they difcharge, the fcrambling Bands
Quick recoiled the Shot with greedy Hands,
E Which
(if) PvmropoUsB'] That is to fay an Evil City, or rather
m City of Wicked Ones. " We read (fays Monf. Bayle,
JpiQ:. Vd. s* J?a- 7&9» Lan4^ Edition) « that Phikp ga-
*^ th^'d ^ether th^ moft v^icked and incorrigible Nlen
•' <>f his Tioie, whom he lodged together in a City he built
•• for them, and call'd it P^wr^/^^/?/." It flood in ?5^r^f^.
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40 Ihe MO BUD', or.
Which fecm more folid, and alert, to bound.
Like thrown (r) Ant^us ftrengthen'd by the
Ground.
Brickbats and Stones deficient thefe fupply.
And on him heavier Flings of Evil try.
Were Dung with thofe to fail, and Lemon-
fkins,
Huckfters for Pillage hold vaft Magazines.
The Hind fobs difmal deep'. Sobs nought
^^^^- [BellywaUj,
Back, Sides, Breaft, Shoulders, Neck, Hips, I
Their joint Contufion by the peppVing Hail. J
His Pate, inclin*d beneath lopp'd Hat, to fave
The Face, may foon a Cap o^ Plsufters crave.
His drooped Sconce fmart Ruins clatt'ring
*^^""^» [of Back.
Thence with continued Stains pollute his Length
Chcefe,
(r) Ant^t^ &c.) The Giant whom (according to the
Fable) Hercul-s encountered, who, as often as he was
thrown, recciv'd fre(b and greater Strength from his Mather
the Eartb.
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Battk of the Voice. 41
Cbeefc, dry'd obdurate, in his ftoreful Poke,
And Bread of Barley, crumble at the Stroke ;
Or battered the brown ftony Walls of Pye
(Tho' firm as a Redoubt) in Fragments lye ;
Or Pudding, which did Gobs of Suet teach
Confolidation, dafh'd, admits a Breach ;
Or dangling Key's from trufty Purfe-ftring torn,
Or Sheath in twaia from Knifie, in Trowfers
born.
By Civil Powers abandon'd to Diftrefs>
ShouM mifcr^ant he Agreftic Gods addrefs ?
Alas ! old Pan's no more ; Sylvanus fleeps ;
Nor chriften d Britain a Pomona keeps ;
Long fince the Dryads left to haunt the
Grove^
And tripping Fauni ceasM. the Lsiwns to rov^*
And cou'd fuch Godlins hear him, they'd retain
The Boon, till they might opportunely daign
Him ni/lic Vengeance in fome pathlefs Clofq,
Glade, ploughed Land, Green>yood, or the
prickly Gofs y *
E z Where
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42 The M OBI AD; or.
Where might juft (i) Wberrets, Scats^ and
tVbifterpoopSy
Reap Satisfaftion on the truant Troops,
When, (t) Micbers, Uiey for Ncft, hedge-
breaking go, ^5j^^
Or («)Oackcub, Haw, Blackberry, Hep, or
Wou d venting Bitches Whelps ! revenge his
Smart,
Or belching Whore/on Brats ! aflert hrs Part ?
Corredlion, by fome plaguy Left-Hand flung,
The Scandal ftrikes abortive of? his Tongue.
Wou'd Gellure threat ? ViftdiSive Hurls more
thick
Will fcarce ajfford him Space to brandish Stick*
And fliou'd it drive, he'd turn'd the Slingers fee
Offend, like Parthians, in a Feint to flee.
So
(s) WherretSj Scats, ice] Country Words for BUwty &c.
(t) MUbers'} Or TruanU. Shakefpear tifcs the Word in
his Hen. 4.
(u) OakcuLI Sq th^ People in Exeter call the Chafer^
probably from that Infed's pitching on Qaks^ apd feeding
PH th^ Leaves,
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. Battk of the Voice. . 43
So rife the Balls pufh on their airy Run,
They nearly cloud like rifing Mifts the Sun,
Nor guiltlefs of at leaft a bloodlefs Wound
The fleet Offences from the Mark rebound.
Gall bids him bann : To bann aflays he vain ;
A Da{h on Mouth dings back the Ciirfe again.
Confound! and direr Words, were his j but, footh.
Gore damms the Sound gu(hM from up-rooted
Tooth,
Back on himfelf the execrable Vote
Recoils, and wreaks harfh Rigour on his Throat.
But had he vex'd Elisha*s dooming Breath,
Which drove on Pefts lefs nocent mangling
Death, ^ . j j
[wou*ddraw>
His feller Mood whole Greeni-and's Bears
Nor one devoted Caitiff *fcapc a rending Paw*
He weeps, morofely weeps ; and fee ! o*top
His heaving Breaft big Tears of Anger drop.
But Tears the Rocky melt not, rather Tears
Work their triumphant more oiFending Jeers.
As
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44 Tihe MOBIAD', or.
As o'er his blubbered Checks Eyes bootlefs gleet.
His Whine for Mercy duns the giggling Street
But oh ! th' Inexorable ! were as well
To {x) Adders, as relenting, urgM the Yell :
For as, when Military Felons jaunt
With Backs fle^d raw, the long long (y) Lope
of Gaunt,
Drums ruff big Rumble, in exerted Rowls,
To over-roar their Pity-craving Howls,
So Shouts, predominant of Noife, unite
Tp drown the Yawling of die pefter'd Wight.
Since, then, in Flight alone Afyle he hopes,
'through the flagitious Rout he hobbling lopes.
Before
(x) Adim.l The Word, &y Criticks, ought (with the
Septuagint zxA the Vulgate) to have been rendered id^^,
which in Pfalm Iviii. is called Adder ^ and faid to be deaf^
and toy?^ his Ears, fo as- not to hearken to the Voice of
the Charmer ; it being confidently aflured that ttus Species
of Serpents adlually fo flop their Ears.
(y) Gaunt.] Meaning that Martial Punifhment cail*d
Rnming tht Gaunt hpe, as invented or ufed firft 4t Gamt^
or Ghenty in Fland^s.
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Battk of the Voice. 45
Before him tofs his focial Tits in Fright,
l^Jor need commanding {z) Rbee ! Terrup ! or
Struck Flints cut Sparkles from the clinking
That hobnails o er or clouts his ample Heel.
The loadfome Clog attempted Hafte impedes,
And, Hiding, baulks th' induilrious clumfy
Treads. ./-
[icour 5
Yet could high Trot the fcamp'ring Bumpkin
Hard after would purfuing Mifchief pour ;
Nor, till he'gain'd the Gate, Relief he*d gain, '
If, by ill Fate induc'd, no recent Swain
Should intercept the Brunt of maffy Rain.
Beware, raw {a) Pagans ! who, in Morning's
Prime,
Bring Grain or Wood, or fetch manuring Lipie,
BewarcL
(z) Rhee! &c.] Thefe are Terms or Sounds us'd by
our G)untry Wood-carriers, &c. to command their Hor-
fes by, to go forward, to turn or incline to the Right-hand
or Left. T[irup^ 1 imagine is as much as if to fay. Troop
along!
(a) Pagan} This Word in its genuine and original Im*
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46 7h MOBIJ^Di or.
Beware, nor enter, though by lawful! Calls^
On lawlefs Days, th' inhofpiteble Walis,
Left fliould demolifh'd Nofe, loft Tooth or Eye,
Your Paffage dirough our Civic Highway bay.
port, means no more than yiUager^ or Cotrntiy-man. But
taking it even in its prefent common Ufe and fecondaiy
$enfe, mi^t it not hav« been fomewhat incongruous to have
reprefented him as apt to call on the fiditious Rural Gods
Without making him poetically a Sort of Mifcreant or Hea-
then ? Neither is it unconimon to fay of our Country P)*
iifhes that they are but a Parcel of Heathensy — though
many of them behave more chriflianly th^n many, or indeed
the major Part, of our Citizens.
End of the Second Canto.
X#X
x»x#x
x*x
CANTO ML
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Battle of the Voice » 47
CANTO IIL
O C E N E s fo perplexed in juft Aray to bring,
* *^ And regularly of Cpnfufion fing.
Proceed, O Muse ! in Order, to defcribe
The various Actings of th* Elefting Tribe j
From thofe who marr to thofe who mufter
Votes,
Aid by {a) welUwiJhingy or well wafliing Throats j
Club Voice gratuitous, or, wifer, fell,
Aflift by drinking or by drubbing well ;
Thofe who, to regulate the Stir, — ( ^i far
As Law direBs) — ^ with Staves of Peace make
war J
Or only bribe, or only bet, or bawl.
Debate in Houfe, or domineer in HalU
F At
(a) Will-iviJhingJ] Such as arc not Frumtn^ but as being
JViU-wiflars (as they call it ) to the Caufc arc allow'd of
each Side intitled to the S^uill^ provided they bawl well.
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4? * l^e MOBIADy er.
At hand's the Hour when Nymphs in
Screams acute
Deep Entries for the Vent of Milk falute ;
And Petrocjc's TowV, with added (b) Head
^"^^^"^^» [Chime,
Since Day-fpring firft ftrikes up {c) religious
Pfalmy the Notes ; — though, haply, in a Pet
Did Sternhold them to fnip-fnap Mufick fet.
Shrill (d) Hautboys and the ftiriller Trumpet
greet, '
Attentive Ears, by Turn, in evVy Street ;
^ Whofe
(b) Added Head. ] A fmall Dome, or Turret, being
lately built o'top of it for the Reception of another (I think
a fixth) Uttle B^U.
(c) Religious Chime.] At 8, 12, and 4 o'CIock, St-
Petroci*s Chimes play Sternhold's queer eld Tune of the
Fourth Pfalm. - -
(d) Hauthcys^ ice] The City Walts and Trumpet,
about this Hour of Eight, b/sgin to traverfe the Town, and j
after a Flourifli or Tunc, their Spokefman, one of them>
fummons the Free-men, to the Purport of the Speech here
fet forth ill Verfe, in thefe following very Words :— '' The
Right WorOiipful [Here a little Paufe] — •' the
Mayor of this City, — - [Here another fliort Haufe is made,
and ofF they almo^ pull their Hats] — " The King's Maje-
ily's Lieutenant, &c, &c* &c.
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Battle of the Fotce. 49
Whofc Warble ceas'd, the Prolocutor hems,
Hauks, ipits, and annual Edidt thus proclaims :
« The Worfhipful this Cit/s MayV, " [A
Paufe
Mojl gracefully here interrupts the ClaufeJ\
" Lieutenant of His Majcfty the King/'
[Here Hands to Hats full mannerly tkty brings]
•* Hereby commands all Free-Men to prepare
** To choofe a new one for th' enfuing Year.
" God fave the King ! '* — Thtts toot th' har-
monious Band^
And mouth the Mandate, at each ufual Stand.
Glad Routs of Little Ones their Hade purfue,
A5 if (e) pid^ Pipers ftrangc Inchantment
blew.
F z But
{0) Pidi Pipirs.'] If any are ignorant of the fo famM Story
of the Rat-charming pied Pipers who drew 131 Children
after him out of the Towo of Ham el, in Germany ^ and
mill them entered a Mountain that opened to receive them,
they may read it afierted for real Fa£t in Verstegan's
Antiq. chap. 3. [I now in lyjo add, it may, bifem in my
Topogr. Dia. Art. HAMEL.]
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50 the MOB J AD ior^
yet why that manifold, that mingled (/}
W^°°P- ^ [Troop f
Why jump in Confluence yon ftruggling
With prying Eyes, Muse ! haften to explore
Whence the wild Hurry, why fuch early Roar ?
In Street intitled TSgb^ by the fam*d (g) Lane
To Venus facred, ftands a f acred Fane,
Though
(f} Tefwbyj &c.] Betimes this Morning fomc gcncroua
S^ealots of the Pari& of St. LtiurineiCViJA*A ^ Hoglhead of
Cyder, for the Ufe (if it ought not rathe* to be call'd Mufi)
of the Populace, to be brought, and its Head placed, near
the Centre, cloft^hooic to tbo Church- Wail 9 over whid^
on a Pole fix*d to one of the Buttrices, was difplay'd a blue
. Afann fm a Flag ; vrhilft oa the Tower hung another Jprm
of the fame Colour, adjoining the withered Limb of an Oak
Tree, ftuek up, acconling to their Jmgular Cuftom, the
Twenty Ninth of May. While the Mob were filthily
draining the Veflel happened the Rev Mr. W — —
(Whatchecum) to ride by ; on whom fomc of them fell
with affronting language, HoUowings, indecent Gefture,
&c &c.
Ig) Lane.] Caftle-Lane in the Bighftreetj as infamous
^-[formerly'] — for Drabbing, &c. as was^evcr the Si/burra
of antient Rome, or are Drury-Lam of London, or D^vh
nation- Al/ey (as *ti& ni«knam*d) of Plymouth-— ['Twyir
from fuch now in 1770. Inftead^ a veryj^tuioui^ commadism^
eafy Road is now mads Qr making Jrqm tha Hjigbftu^ up fm^
iothCq/lle.] i
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Battle of the Voice. 51
Though graven Images and Shields, ere wUk
Forn>ing a {h) Conduit-houfe, its Porch com-
? * [mocks
Its Window, beautious, (Thanks to Lime, that
With Freeftone Afpcd: red and rugged Rocks)
To fanciful Obfervcrs fecm to fmile
That Nature's Works its paflive Side defile.
Smile they ? ~ But — hift !
Ought we but tell, that (void of (i) guardful
Pale,. ro 1
^ [Stale,
To fend againft lewd Dog's or Drunkard's
And
{b) Conduit.'] Before this Church heretofore ftood a Con-
dait, which being puird down, of the Stones thereof (carv'd
with the Image of (^ Elizabeth^ as I think it is dedgnM to
to be underftood. Coats Armoury, &c.) was built the pre-
fent Church-Porch. But whether they have been addition-
ally confecrated or not \ find not in Izacii*s Memorials of
Mxiter.
{{) Guardftd Pale.] It's a /iiniSng Sham that, for Want
of proper Palifadeir or Rails, this Church's Side is made a
perfe£c Jakes of. If this facetioufly fatircal but true De-
fcripcion, &c. fhafl provoke proper Perfons to amend the
Fault, my End and Drift will be in great meafure anfwer'd^
who have not Patience to fee the Hot^ $/ God thus irreve-
rently pi&'d i^n, and worfe. Procul^ procul f/h fro*
fkmh
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52 ^%e MOBIADi or,
Andpoftern Sinks, by Night, their Stain more
- "^^> [PUe,
Here (lands (ah! why prophan'd?) a rcv'rend
Infcrib'd to Saint who dy'd, the Legend faith,
A (^^) grilliaded Martyr of the Faith.
The Dons who in this confecrated Dome,
When in the Mood, to folemn Duty come,
Vow'd, in a generous Ardour of the Heart,
UnparalleFd to top Eledion*s Part 5 -
Yet cheaply noble, in Profufion wife.
Save Charge of Malt, Hops, Brewage, and
Excife.
So, — at the thrifty fcoft of (/) "twelvers Nine,
Is Hogfhead bought replete with Applet Wine.
Ere Bakers, to appeafe the maund'ring jMaw,
Their forempft Batch of reeking Manchets draw.
The
{k) Agrtlltadid Martyr.] St. Laurbwcs, as ThiCsUm
Legend tells us, being martyr'd on a Sort of Gridiron, or
Iron Hurdle, when half broiled, call'd to the Officer ivho
prefided at the Execution, telling him one Side was dreft
enough, dierefore he might turn him up, and begin to fall to.
(I) ^wehers Nine ) The Price of a Hogftiead of Cyder
was Nine Shinies or thereabout, at the Time of this Tranf«
a£tion*^
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BattU of the Foic€. 53
The Orchard's Juice arrives, with fluid Song,
And dances as it fiafhing jolts along.
The liquid Hurliburly in the Butt
Portends its troublous Rumble in the Gut,
Whofe Lee's foul Pother intimates as plain
The deftin*d Perturbation of the Brain.
The Bells (whofe Match no Carrier's Fore-
Horfe e'er
Could, for capacious Size, prefume to wear)
Their tinging Clappers, tripple Clink, imploy.
And ding-dong wrangle forth parochial Joy :
The trebble Difcord peals exadl the fame
To 'wail in doleful Clafh a Houfe in Flame;
Nor more prepofterous they'd wayward ring.
If did they quarrel to burlefque the Thing.
From
(m) Bells.^ The Tower, built of red roughifli Stone,
being much larger than, though fcarce fo high as, many
Chininies, it's eafy to fuppofe its Three Bells (for there are
full fo many) clafliing make moft excellent Mufick. A
Country Boy paffing with his Mother a while ilnce by, an4
obferving fee Tower, innocently cry*d out, *' Looi^ l$ok^
Mother^ what a gurt [gr^tj Cbindiy that littk Houfe hatb
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54 7^ MOB IAD I or.
From the rough Tow*r (which late a Ruftic
{m) Youth
Suppose a Chimney of enormous Growth)
An azure Enfign on a Mopilick waves
Its hoftile Flutter, and to Battle braves :
«
It lately had with faften'd Strings embraced
A {n) purfie Ale-mans* Bulkinefs of Waift.
Behold ! an Oak's Branch near^ whofe withered
Spray
With Verdure {hone laft Twenty-Ninth of May.
Might not the Change the Patron s Gall provoke.
His fprightly ((?) Laurel for the £ided Oak ?
No 3 Him delights fuch Badge of fturdy Love,
That to {p) Apollo's adds the Tree of Jove.
This Pennant fcouls Defiance. But below
Its brother Pennant flaps inviting Show,
The
(m) See the Note juft preceding*
(n) I think the drtpfical AUman ToM Joici.]
(o) LauTil} The Etymology of LAVRKNTitrs is Lm-
rwn tinenSy i. e. HoUing the Laurel i as the prefatory In-
trodiidliofi of his Story in the Legenda Aurea gives it.
O; ApeWtTree^ &c,] TheZrtf«r«/isfacred to Apollo,
as is the Oak to JupiTEit.
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Battle of the F&ice. ^^
The bemm*d blue Linen, fix*d toButtrice^ flys.
And looks a-dryihg hung to Strangers Eyes :
But errs the Gucfs j for lo ! its Signal's plain>
To fwiU and leak, and fwill and leak again.
Beneath this Poll, which, ftay*d, the Banner
flays,
The Cafk an Angle of the Prop inlays :
Snug at the Centre of the Templets Wall
The Veffers Head is belfd, or helps^ from FalL
Oh ! that we could the knotty Symbol cleave.
And obvious to the Light the Mcaning'leave,
If it implies — That Toping^ in a fort.
Should prop the Churchy or from Her have
Support!
But we, dilemma'd, and in Search too flow.
Permit to thofe fage Emblemifts to know.
Who thus ordain'd the Manage, what in ]^^ind
By fuch odd Difpofitioh they defign'd.
The Mob of clear Pretenfion riJfe draw near.
And ipring to feize Intoxication's Share.
G Th:
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^6 7he MX) B IAD', or,
Th* increafing Many burn with rival Thirft,
And new Intruders elbow back the firft.
The Faucet's {q) Regent' (for, as in the Eaft,
Of Old were chofen Rulers of the Feaft,
One governs here the Tap) rifks now the Fate
Of the (r) fquafliM Steward at SAMARiA*sGate.
Matrons (s) of Trulla's Kin, in Kags, among
The bowfing Tumult, For Blue I fquealing,
throng.
'Girls, with Boy Tyroes for the Caufe, wedge in
The medley QuafFers, and unlearn to fpin.
Who, early thus taught Modefty to lofe.
Scarce in their Teens feek Bufinefs in the Stews.
Imagine
(q) Faucet* s Regent.'] One Lewls^ a Journeyman of Mr.
WiUsy Chair-maker, was appointed to draw the Liquor, or
at leaft to fee that no Wafte was made thereof, — tfiat is to
fay that none but the rightmcokur^d Mob devilify'd them-
felves therewith, ^
(r) Squajh' J 'Steward.] Sec II. Kings, vii, 19, 20.
(s) Trulla.'} The Virago, or mafculine filthy Jade,
brought in by the Poet among the Mob at Bear-baiting in
Hudibras. There have been fcv^ral of them too mitf h en*
courag*d here.
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Battle of the Voice.^ 57
Imagine now that Point of Day when
^t) James
By Bell's Ring warns de vout-and-dainty Dames,
There fcarpe are Sixty Minutes more allowed
For humble Worfhip to be trick'd up proud :
The Point when, licking Butter from their
Bread,
In clean Frocks neat to School are Children led;
Whilft favVy Steams Nofe to folicite rife
From the fupp'd Liquor of cry'd Mutton*Pies,
And lufcious Clamours oft* regale the Ears
With Hot bak*d Apples ! or Hot-fmoaking Pears !
When {u) Lord Sinpious, wrung with penal
Gout, - . - , ,
[rubVd out.
Since Houfhold Pray'r, which had Old Score
G 2 Had
(t) James.} Jamcs Mot TIMOR E, the honeft old Bell-
toller and Chime-ringer* The Time here by Circumftances
defcribed fignifics it's being now Nine o'Clock.
(u) Lord Sinpious.] The nicknaun'd Lord at South withr
out. Father Dod^ I remember, has among his printed Say
ings •* £ither Prayer will make a Man give ovtrjirmingj or
Sin will make him give over prayingJ** But this praying
and fwearing, godly and wicked^ heavenly and wordly-
minded Inftance helps to confirm that there's fcarce a geni%
ral Rule without an Exception^
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58 "The M0EJ4Dy or.
Had kt a Thoufand Execrations fly,
^nd ran anew in deep Debt to the Sky,
Now fcatter'd Parties, Drove c9nfronting
Drove,
With thwartive Eyes adverfe in Mixture move,
Jlere Helliers ftraggle in a lazy Shape,
. As, flouching, they with Hands in Pockets trapc.
Or thruft below their Aprons, fplafh'd with
White,
patch'df furl'd, or dangling clouterly to Sight,
Crifpinians, flippant, though of fhjrdy Air,
More blidie, and with a galliard Pace, go there,
There hie who drew from {x) Tubal- Cain
their Race, ro
[Face,
With Copper Brjghtnefs glows each well-ale*d
There limp grica Mulciber*s befmutted Kind,
Their forgy Throats with quenchlefs Sparkles
linU
Here
(^) Tubal-Cifh.] He is faid to be an hflrt^9r of iverji
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Battle of the Voice. 59
Here Carpenters fhew Backs of ample Square,
Like knurly Beams rough-hewn of Oaken Ware.
There Barbers hop with Brows knit politic ;
Here (y) Mafons, ruddy as their Cheeks were
Brick.
Combers, in Veft by Ufe refin'd, and Oil
AH fplendid, fhuffle to the lov'd Turmoil.
Here tindur'd Hands difHnguifh thofe who Dye;
ThereFuUers feud, perfum'd wMth Chamber Lye.
The greafy Frock of Candle-dipper there
Inspires near Noftrils with a fatter Air;
Whilft to aFeaftthe fnufFd grofs Odour craves
Our Houfliold Vermin from their Planchent
Caves,
That, if befriended not by Pufs, their Foe,
Gnawn {z) Hatto's Fate he*d, haply, undergo.
Taylors, now each a Map, with nimble Trip,
Aping a jauntee Mein, there, fwagg Ving fkip,
Whofe
(y) JIda/om.J McreBnckhyerszrcinExeter&yVdMef/om^
(z) Hatt§*s Fate.] Hat to, a vile Archbifliop of Ment^^
IS (aid, or rather forg^d^ to have been eaten up alive by
Kat^, a Judgment on )iim for c^in^ the Poor Rat?, &c« &c»
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6o He MOB IAD ^, or^
Whofc Hearts feel fcarcc more aggrandizing
Swells .
[Bells,
When their hir'd (a) Text conforts the hireling
Or while op f^^ Bridge at Iron-Dish they ftand
In Vifit to their own wall'd Gallows-Land,
Scarce could they wear Looks more fuperbly
fierce.
Was each a Bowhay of a Bully — arse.
Gad Bakers there, whofe fweaty Caps, beneath
Hats meaFd and dough d, their fcprchM brown
Temples wreath.
Here Flocks of Weavers, who this Morn difdain
Their Beechen Bowls of Broath new vamp'd to
drain.
Keen-
{a) 7>jr/.] On Midfummer-Day^ when the Exsnlan Tay*
tors chufe a Mafter of their Company, they fignalize then:^*
felves, beyond other ordinary Corporations, by hiring a S#r-
nton to be preached before them, —[of which one heretofore
had the Text Let him that hath fiolen Ileal no mort^ —- and
another — Yet a lUmnant Jball be fav'dl" and the Cathe-
dral Bells to ring all Day.
{h) Bridge,'] The Burial- Yard of Heavitree -Gallows be-
longs to our Company of Taylors to take care of, for which
a Bit of Land was bequeathed to 'em. Once a Year they
walk out in a Body to vifit it, when on the Bridge, at a Place
caird Irm-Dijb they tarry fomc Time, treating each Paffler-
by with a Mug of Ale.
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Battle of the Voice. 6i
Kcen-ey'd, alert, dank (as they huddled walk.
All Tongue, no Ear) harfh Vehemence of Talk:
LikeMafh of Jabber flooded {c) Exe bcflows.
When ruffled (he o*er rugged Head-Were
flows.
Grum Catchpoles, arm'd with Oak-Plants,
huge of Knob,
Indulging Vacance from a Harpy Jobb,
Among the refl: with itching Claws refort.
And with a mingled Terror dafh the Sport.
Thofe too who drive th* o'crloaden Sledge ad-
vance
With hagard and outfagious Countenance,
Whofe Lafli Lafli Laffi incarnate Fiends dilplay
On the hard, cruel, killing {d) Steep of Kay.
Slaves
(c) ExeJ] The Rivet on which Exetir is fituate, and
from which that City derives its Name. Head-Were is tho
Name given to the uppermoft of the Two above the Water-
Engine.
(d) Steep of Kay.] Kay Hill. England is faid to be a
HeU for Horfes. If fo, this HiU may be caU'd Kay-HelL
Hereon a Perfon of tender Humanity^ and« a fympathifmg '
Goodnature^
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6i the MO^BtADi or,
{e) Slaves of the Shainbles, with more ugly Low
Than ere they learned of madded Ox or Cow,
Loud, fwift, and foul, as Torrents roaring down
O'er (f) Stepcote-bilh that rage Exe-Brtdge to
drown i
Where-ere the fanguinary RufFains roam.
The Jaws of licensed Slaughter feems to foam*
But why is thus Detail in Special made ?
In Sum, we fee large Draughts frpm ev'ry Trade^
As they in feparate Brigades go by.
Or jumbled mifcellanepus in AUie.
Street, Lane, and Alley their Contingents fend.
And evVy Tap-Houfe yawns 'for Dividend.
Deft
Goodnature, may too often be ftruck with Horror. Sureljr
it wei;e not very difScult to evince, by Reafoii and Scrip-
ture, that the hardened Wretches who ufe God's Creatures
with Cruelty, or lafli them on to Performances beyond their
Strength, Ihould expeft to anfwer for it hereafter, as for
Sins unnatural; [This Hill hath been made a littk fmreprac*
ti cable. '\
(e) Slaves, &c. Journeymen Butchers, fuchas jfjily, &c.
(f) Stepcfite-bilL] To the Weft of this City is a Dcfcent
called Step'ccte'hilly to which as the 6utcherow leads, the
Guts, Blood, Litter, Ordure, and a Variety of Nafttnels
from the Shambles^ are, in hardiShowers of Rain, rapidl/
tarried over-it into the River, juft by Exe-bridge.
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Battle of the' Voke. 63
Deft Managers, betimes^ with fearchful Care,
Smoak Who are Who, as fundry Signs declare, .
As cunnitig Spies to reconnoitre fcout.
And fteal Advice what lurks the Foe about*
* Now Chiefs of haughty Bofom fupple ftoop
Ev*n to the Jakes to angle for a Dupe,
•Who for .a Wheadle will invert his Coat,
Or for a Promife proftitule his Throat.
The Mdft^r-Tradefmen courtly condefcend
To call a fimple Working-Man my Friend^
Familiar fit, and pledge, by touching Pots,
Whom they have fkunn'd for 'Scoundrels,
Scrubs, and Sots.
A tatterM Gaffer is accofted, Sur!
And Sbabs are 'Neighbours own d without Pe«
' mur.
Druggift to Pouijder tips obliging Wink,
Afld Mercer afks his Errand-Man to drink.
Grocer on Porter's Arm lays fweet ning Pat,
And Draper to a Taylor touches Hat.
H Aa
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64 ^^ MOBIADi or,
A Sinall - Ware - Man extends his plumper
Hind
To ihakc a Pedlar's j And, upwheadled grand,
A Tinker to a Goldfinith covered goes 5
And Merchant greets Japanner of his Shoes,
Nay, Parifli Clarks, who revVend Surplice wear.
And whofe AJfent authentic renders Pray'r,
Whom (boxM in hallow'd Defk, full Jole by
Cheek
With Padbn) Learn'd in Look, demurely fleek,
Reading a clear Half-Title to the Gown,
We muft (g-) Inferior Clergy ! duely own 5 —
Ev*n Clarks lay by their State, and Sextons join.
As they co-equal tope, co-equal Chat and Coin*
Startup, magnificent of Thought, though He
Adorns in Pew Chief -Warden's big Degree,
His wonted Infolence forgoes a while.
And nods a Congee with a lureing Smile.
Celsus
ii) InferUr Oefgy.) So a Certain Clark In this City ftjrl'd
himfelf and his brother Clarks. We (iays he) of the inferior
Clergy can, fome of us, read better than our Mafterst
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Battle of the Voice. 65
Celsus the folcmn, whofc Plutonian Frown
Looks fupercilious on mere Mortals down,
AfTumes a Spice of almofl civil Guife,
And bears a Dafh of Sweetnefs in his Eyes,
(bj PuMino, whofe all-penetrating Sight
Through the proverbial Millftone meets the ^
Light,
Great on the Bench as Hudibras is fung,
(Where, formidable for a doubty Tongue,
With Him not (ij Abel on the Stage com-
pares
In bearing up th' Importance of Affairs)
Not wanted yet at Council-board to fpeech.
Sits clofe Companion witfi fome vulgar Breech.
Ev'ri bulky {k) Tuber; whofe vaft Stomach
fwells
Much as the Fable of the Paddock tells,
H 2 And
(*) PVMIUO, 9lias DandipraU
(0 Abel in the Play calPd ThiCofmnlttHy &ۥ
{k) Tuber. [/ knew this Pirfm douitlefs in 1737, bu
forget bip nm in 1770.]
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66 The MO BUD I or.
And more the Cloaks fo late put on^ dilates
Than an High-Mighty of the Belgic States,
Abate an Inch of bloted Grandeur can.
Nor look immenfer than an Alderman.
Though thcfe Pi^tricians fcattcr Vows to fight
]Like Roman Tribunes for Plebeian Right,
And promiflbry Patriots become
As popular Love-winning Absalom,
Yet Mobs truc-ft^el'd and ftomachful rejedt
The ftale Cajole, nor wiU defert their Sefl:.
Defert their Sed ? — As foon a Jilt (hall rap
A flufli'd new Cully for a fleec'd old Chap.
As foon the Spark fliall keep Connubial Vowsi
^Wbo makqs, for P^lf, a loathfpme Crone his
Spoufe :
Curmudgeons hate of free Regales to tafte^
^qd Girls in pamper'd Idlenefs be chafte :
They Horns efcape who Youth at Seventy wife;
And Vintners Riches with their Grandfons
thrieye :
Upftarts
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Battle of the Voice. 6y
Upftarts In Office more obliging grow.
And on the Outed Proofs of Love beftow.
Clodius leave Wenching, to oblige his Wife,
And Tabid Toping to preferve his Life :
As foon fliall (I) Phill the pridelefs ceafe to
*^" [befell.
What Things when he Head^ Steward was
Or what Events took place in fome great Hour,
Whilft dignify'd He Chair of Governoun
Defert their Sedl ? What ! turn a Recreant ?
No I fooner he incurred of Bread the Want
No; they, tenacious of their proper Dyes,
Proposed Cockades of alien Hue defpife,
And, firm as Rocks, by Tides ne'er overborn.
In Love of Privilege, Icnown Welfare fcorn*
N^y, fome, jnore moody, their own Maftcr*
beard.
And pifh at being from Imploy cafliier'd j
III
(0 Ph|ll. Phili, Bastard, who in all Companies
JuggM in fomething tQ fpeak of his having been one of the
wnual Stewards, or Bailiffs \ and the fame with regard of
having had his Turn of being Governor among the incorpoh
rated Guardiaiis of the Poor,
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68 Tie MOBIADi or,
111 Names retort, and dafh Uf braidings by.
And Setjeants menac d to the Back defy.
Thus flout St, Peter elevates his TowVs,
Expos'dtoThunder, Stormy Blafts and Show'rs ;
But ftands them all unmov'd, and braves the Sky
To fpend its Rage in conftant Battery;
Seems but to whittle at the V/indj the Rain
Precipitates with Scorn j and with Difdain
Hears the wroth Tempeft b«t his founding j
Plain. J
1
Ale-foakers now exert their leachy Skill
Quick to induce the (m) Running of the ^ilL
Shall
(m) Running of the ^uilL) When die Rabble have Liquor
given 'em before, at, or after ElefHons, they fay the ^iif
runs at fuch or fuch a Houfe ; and they getting themfelves
drunk by it they call ^iUin^, or drinking upon the ^iU.
I conjecture it had its Origin from a ^tlFs being us*d for
the Liquor's running through from the Mefliing- Vat ia Brew-
ing. Nor is it indeed inipoflible but a ^iU was heretofore
iis'd here inftead of a modern Brafs Cock, or Wooden Fau^
cet,; we 0ill faying Put the Jug, &c. to Pen^ \rfien we'd
fignify the having it run from thieHoglhcad immediately into
the Jug,
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Battle of the Foke. t^
Shall to be freely drunk the Right be loft.
That beft of annual Rights Shab-Frcemenboaft ?
Rather come on no free Eledlion more.
Nor ev'n the prided Privilege to roar !
For Parties both, amidft their Jarrs, unite
In Claim to (hare the Bacchanalian Right.
No Quill ran ? Rather Flood-fwoln Exe away
Run with the IJland Malt-houfe to the Sea !
Let [n) Bangs on Stalls, and joUierWickednefs,"!
Hoots, Drabbing, Fiddling, Swearing, Cavils, I
* [Prince of Peace- j
And Brabbles, on the Morn when born tbeJ'
Yea rather let each new-chofe May^r detain
The City's Buckets 5 let the Butchers chain
Their
^n) Bangs J &g.] The Chriftmas-Day Morning is moft
fcandaloufly abufed here by the Particulars above-mentioned,
and a helliih Variety of other Wickcdnefi and Outrage.
Mean while, (ome accompanied with Fiddles, others with-
out them, rove about the City, and under Windows fing
Carols of Chrift, God, and the Holy-Ghoft, and fo make
tiiem iti De«dthe5^of liiQ Dfmkard. And for fuch
impudent -Prophaneneis they are rewarded, -having not only
ChriAmas Drwi, but Money to be more drujik witfa^ given
^m. ^[But fuch'fimdahus Night-MMif^^ ice. &c. hma
if-UUet T^vfiihim muh fapp9ef$^4 amLintanly quafbld.}
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70 The MOBIADi or^
Their Maftives up, in Spite, to difannul
That glorious Law oi worrying a BuUi
And fo — preventing mortal Colds by Sweat,
Or Colds as killing by {p) Affaults of Wet) —
Reduce the wonted Flufh of Deadly Trade
Of thofe who wield the Peftle or the Spade,
But oh ! in vain they fkilful Mumpings ply ;
For yet the Chiefs their Running Squill deny ;
And Tefters, here and there, ftruck up, fuffice
But juft a heart ning Quait or fo to raife.
Yet Patience, Soakers ! and forbear to dun :
^ills fhall as freely as the Conduit run. —
As ponded Mill-Brooks, free'd of Bar, redeem
Loft Time by gufhing in a rapid Stream,
Anon, .in Seafon, though Stagnation now
Witholds the Current, fhall Ale-Rivers flow.
What
(9) Wet.'] The Butchers, &c. who are annuaBy permit*
ted to beat a Bull (a Dlverfion which too many of our tender-
hearted fine Dames fcem to delight in ) before the Mayor's
Door, throtv Buckets or Hats-fiill of Water on all they can
reach, &c.«-«See another Note on the Occafion in Canto iv.
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Battle of tie Voice^ 7 1
What though Alboeus {p) hides awhile from
View, » -
And fepms to bid his upper Banks Adieu,
Fre(h, freih^ in Vigour, he breaks fivth again.
And viiibly flows jocund to the Main.
(P) -^Iphius.^ This River doth run quite through Jrca^
dia^ EUsj and along the City of Pifa i foon after which it
is fwallowed up in the Earth. From dience it is fuppos'd
to run» by a fubterraneous Channel, under the Sea, without
inixtng with the Salt Water, and (b to pa& quite into 5/al/,
where it mixes itfelf with the Fountain Antbufa^ near the
City of Syracufi ; infomuch that any Thing that is thrown
into it on the ElU Side is faid to come out of the Fountain
above-named. Vid. Diod. Paufan. et al. Hence the poetic
Fiction of Jlphius's Love to Jntbufa. Univ. Hift. Vol. ii«
pa, (fd. Edit.) 406. Note (b).
End of the Third Canto.
&^
CANTO ly.
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7^, Tie MOB IAD ; w,
CANTO IV.
BY this, where Houfes, whclving, Houfes
meet.
And vault with Beetle-brows a fhelving Street,
Where flout (a) St. Peter, on the Corner Stall,
Props the impending Edifice from Fall, —
The lufcious Smoke oFFurmity an Hour
Had tempted errant Younglings to devour*
By this had Rural Blowzes made their Rounds,
OnSteeds-and-Panniers, in the licensed Bounds,
Whom grudg'd Half-penny's Fee admits to"
fcream ^^
[Cream,
Milk, Cabbage, Apples, Butter, Eggs, stnd
And (b) Otho made their Malediftipn's
Theme.
By
(a) St. Petir^ &c ] Meaning Northgati-flreH.
(h) Otba.] iMr, Otho Channoii, the Market-Man,
and my honeft Kinltnan*
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Battle of the Voice. 73
By this had funky {c) Jenkin, Friends prcfume.
Of Pipe the tenth whiiF'd the white curling
Fume. . ■
[harangued
By this had (d) Skindly through ten Streets
With lewd loud Scandal, and been voted hang'd.
By this hiflorlc Snarl thrice tenthly fpake
His Faculty of — Pronenefs'to — miftake.
By this did Sorbid, Lip-bewraying, fluff
His Noftrils with his fiftieth Gripe of Snuff*
I 2 By
(c) Jeniin.1 Jenkxk Willi ams^ the honeft Wilcb
Landlord of our Eaftern JFhiU Hart Inn, fo tight a Frlei(4
to the Revenue, that is, (fich a perpetual Snioaker, that he
feems, in fome Meafure, as if he fubfifted partly by it :
For which Reafon Wags have affign'd to fuch his Smoke die
Epithet of vitaL He is an early Stirrer, and fticks the
Tube in his Jaws, as foen as (if not before) he fteps out of
Bed ; from whence he fcarce ever plucks it but to fill.
Suppofing him to have gat up, this Morning of extraordinary
Bufinefs, between Five or Six, we can't in Confcience al«
low him lefs than his tenth Pipe by Ten o'Clock. An hy-
perbolical Fellow once ofFer'd to maintain, by a moderate
Computation, he had Fire enough in his Kpe during the
common Six Days, if collcfied into a Body, to boil his Pot
o'Sunday.
(d) Siinley.^ The moft nolfy and moft fcandalous of
R-fc-s, whofc chief or only Delight was induftrioufly to
/pread Defamation, felfe or true, through the Town.
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74 ^be MOB I^D; ^,
By this hail (e) Chamfion, like Tithdnitsi'
Weft
In early fhaking oflf unhealthy Reft*
Had on ten Benches try'd whofe Ale was beft..
By this had the Eocleiiaftic Chime
ProchdiBtt'd of Forenoon-PrayV the inftant Time;
Whilft Nymphs not piink'd-up with Ball Airs
to pray
£at fipping Slander with their Pagan Tea.
By this, another Morn, had (f) Drum been
^""'^ [Guard,
With martial Beat to ghear' the marching
Nor were the Ws^rriour Wags arrayed to play, '
In Garrifan kept fafe from Warfare's Way,
And mock tbeTown^Implqypaent of the Day. ,
But
(4) Chap^ion.'} Mr. Champion, of the Suu^ Inn.
He is truly defcribcd in the Vcrfe.
f/j Drum.] Prccifcly at Ten was wont a Party of the
Regiment quartered here to march to the Caftlc, to mount
and relieve the Guard. But, of late, finc^ Mobbing run
fo high* the Commanding Officers, to prevent the Soldiery's
interfering with, or being drawn into, the Squabbles of the
Towft, hav? us*d to order *?m \^^tiak^ into ^e fajd Caftle 5
where
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Bcmk of the Voice. 75
But whence that Hurricane of Voice we
hear ? i. ,
[appear !
Sec ! Crowds in Deluge through Eastgate
The Yellow (^) Greeks with vaft Huzza
ruih in ;
And Blues look hluer at the dauntful Din.
For lefs intrepid and fecurc of Fame
Thegen rousRoMANSofthe(^) FA3iANName,
March'd
where being confined 3II Day they have ijs'd to divert them*
felves and Officers with a Mock-EUSfion of their own»
which th^ have fometimes done very comically, one Party
being for the Time reputed Bhuy the oth^ TtlloWj &c.
(z) Gneks.l So we Surname, I know not why, the rug*
ged Inhabitants of St. Sidwelb. The Tide feems to have
arifen from their contending with the City at Foot-ball, &c.
they being pJl'd Grteks as making the Invaflon, and the
Townfmen perhaps Trojans in defending their Groundy
^c. ' ^
(h) FabtanJ] Near about the Year of Rome 280. Cafi
Fabkis and T. Virginius being Confuls, the Plebeians refufing
to inlift tp ferve againft the Hetruriamj who invaded their
Country, the Fabii^ to the Number of 306, with about
4000 Vafials and Clients^ generoufly engag'd to fecare the
Frontiers agaiiift the Enemy, They march'd gallantly
through the Gate Carmentalis ; Which became famous there-
by ; but which, on their being to a Man cut off, was after-
wards nam'd Porta fceUraia^ or the accurfed Gati. Sec
Qvid Faft:. |. ii. "-^^ Carmtntis pott4t 4Wf/rtf, &c.
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76 rbe MOBIAt), or.
Marched through their famM Carmen tal
Gate, to go
And quell the Infults of th* Hetrurian Foe.
As under (i) Shalldown*s cliffy Coaft,
where Teino -^ .
[Spring,
With Brine confounds, at Ebb, her fweeter
When Neptune drives the mobbing Flood
along.
The liquid Ridges turbulently throng.
Waves hilling on the Backs of Waves fwell high.
And on the craggy Upland throw the Spry,
Then in her Bay ufurp the lefT ning Strands,
And roll an Ocean o'er the fhelly Sands,
So the rough Populace, in-gu(h'd, amain
Extends on each Side of the paved Plain.
Three
(t) ShaHdown] A little Fifcln^-Town, between which
and Teignmoutb runs the River f/«|', or I'eing ; or rather
where that River difemlx^ues. The Defcription of the
Place and of the Tide's flowing there is exa6Hy naturali^
whether or no it be artfully enough poetical. Nor, we humr»
biy prefume, is the Simile or Comparifon quite unapt.
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Battle of tht Voice. jy
Three ftanch Chicf-Mkfters of the Woolly
Woof,
UnfliockM by Bankruptcies, and Fqrtune-proof,
Chearily gruff, whofe Looks of Bus'nefs charnni,
Grace in the Front the rugged rapid Swarm.
The Stretch of Rabble, Twelve a-breaft,
draws nigh ;
And (k) Haddy ! Haddy ! rattles to the Sky.
The honeft Vogue afcends Heav n's fmiling
Frame,
Which in approving Ecchoes bids the Name;
And ever, as the duteous Clamours foar,
Methinks fome Angel crys. Encore ! Encore I
On t' other hand, from divers Quarters led.
See, growing Squadrons wide ForestreST
o*erfpread.
Envy
(I) Haddy.l Mr. Haddy, who had difcharg'd the Office
of High-SherifF, and all the inferiour, with Reputation, and
was one of the Candidates at a former Election to the May-
oralty » was expected, and extremely wiih'd, to have been
again fet up**
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78 ^be MOBIADi or.
Envy and EmuUtiomiQiarp incite
By angVing Poftures to denounce the Fight,
The Mouthy Fight and more. With mutual
Grin
They, intricate, to fkirmifli ftrait begin.
Alternate Vollie§ of adverfe Acclaim
To pierce with miflive Daunt, bombarding, aim.
A Hundred Throats club Energy of Bawl
For Blue ! $ a Hundred^Sr the Tellow I fquawL
O'er the pounchM Lip Boars foaming Dudgeon
fumes.
And Dragons Malice hifles through the Gumst^
Hands clapp'd on Buttocks ^iHi lift braving dare,
And mettled Skips agai^ftbold Leaps declare*
Brow-beatings glum terrific FroWos oppofe*
To cope ^am'd Cheeks the iparkling £ye*ball
glows.
At pointing Fingers levelFd Fingers rage.
And Mouths awry with fnarling Jaws engaged
High-waving Hats with Hat? high-flourifli'd vie.
Shouts anfwcr. Shojits, and Habsf to Hobs! reply.
Vile
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BdttU of the Voice, 79
Vile Names, like Stinkpot9, thoagh to Truth
unknown, ^
Are, interchanged^ upoa each other thrown :
So is by Wolves afperfive Urine flung^
And the Bon&fus batdes with his Dung.
In Parts remote the RiffrafF, Men and Boys,
With leaning Ears drink the kfedious Noife ;
And^ vainly wifh^d the Field's flemove, to ihare
The hideous Pleafures of the Strife more near.
At once Commotion from each Outikirt rolls.
And dark Defiles pour out new-mufter'd Sholes.
With trudging Speed their Feet Impatience
wings,
Andy fpringing, to the Camp of Difcord bring^t
So, oftV in Bodies, when diipos'd to jar
The Blood impure, and peccant Humours war,
They from th* extremer Parts in Conflux join
Beneath the Arm, or centre in the Groin j .
K Where
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€o Tht MOBJADy or,
Wh€re> babbling fierce within a Bily Urn,
Appcafelefs they a new Corruption churn.
And, wrathful, in n^anian Tumours burn.^
BickVing in Difarray the Powers they find,
Arm*d as with Stings of Hornets in the MiiuL
Enthusiasm, the hotteft Fiend on Earth,
Hell-born, though it pretends a heav'nly Birth,
Wayward impels the Shock ; lewd Discord
leads.
And mad Sedition bellows at their Heads.
As Dog ( Fve 6cn ) on Travel, ftimg b/
Want,
ArrivM at Inn, with gnawing Huqger gaunt,
{And t^ Experience taught a jnft PefpsMr
Of his lefs faithful Matter's duteous Care)
In Kitchen, catering, fnatch an OfFil Feaft,
Or ravin on a Bone, his hard Repafl: !
And, bold by Famine, diligent beftir,
Spight of th' inhofpitable menial Cur,
Shews
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Battk of tbi Fiici. 8i
Shews Teefh prepared for Teetb, and Yells far
[Growls,
And renders Snarls for Snarls, and Growls ioc
So vehement, fo greedy of the Fray,
Ruih the new Comers to th' in»battled Way:
Hobs! quick engage with Habsl 9f (krew'd
Grimace
Outftares the Gorgon of a wrefted Face ;
The rival Buftlers masse a Change of Ground,
And each Side, foanung, thunder Sound! for
Sound i
As, when atDiftance fla/hing Sulphurs growli
And to the Down their grunoibled Terrors rowl.
The confcious Shepherd, of eyperienc'd Ear,
Quakes left the growing Menace burft too near.
The Suburbs round, drained of their variousDin,
Hear, ihaking^ the colledted Roar within*
But, fudden Awe I the trembling Streets
refound.
As though infernalTempeft flioqk'dtheQround I
K z And
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iz Tie MOBIAD^ or.
And fee the Caufc : — Six fmoaking Steeds
approach.
With la(h*d-up Fury whifldng on a Coach: -^^
How hurricanian fwift ! No fleeter Kind
Are father d, in the Iliad» oft the Wind,
So glow their working Noilrils, as they run.
As if the fiery Courfers of the Sun
Wedded terreftrial Mares, with proud Defign
To raife aStu4, half mortal^ half divine.
Back ! back ! upfw^ft of Foot ! His Life's at
flake '
Who dares acrofe the Canal Refuge take :
No more the Jehu would his Gallop flay
Than (/; Tullia, limp'd his Father in the
Way.
Lefs
(1) TuitiA, &c.] Learned and Well-read Pcrfons Hccd
no Note here ; yet for the fake of lefs informed others, 'tis
bpped they'll not abhor one, tho- fiot of the ihorteft Size.
Tarquin furnam'd the proud^ Son-in-law to Servius
TuLLius, King of Ronu^ inftigated thereto by his execra*
blc \yife, the above TuLtiAj confpirjed againft hij lai4
f ather*in^Iaw^ and by AfMination murtber'd him in the
Street.
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Battle of the Voice. 83.
Lefs rapid rattling are Stage-Drivers known.
Of Cattle oftentatious, through a Town.
Upward he threatful Courfe to Hfitel takes.
And all along each lofQr Manfion fhakes.
Now 'ftabli{h*d Churches fancy Perils more
Than (harp {m) Sacheveral defcry'd of Yore.
The fundry Gates, Eaft, Weft, North, South,
and Kay,
Feel joint Concuflion and a joint Difmay ;
Aud fear naight Qates which the Chief Temple
guard,
Ircft, tumbling, they expofe again the Tardy
The
Street: And this impious Wretch riding triumphantly in
her Chariot through the fame Street, her Driver, ftruck
with Horrour at the Sight of the bleeding Corpfe, ftopp*4
bis Horfes, She call'd to him to go on. He told her, he
could not without driving over her own Father's Body.
She flung a Stool that was in the Chariot at his Head, com*
manding him to drive on. He obeying, fome of her own
Father's Blood ftuck to her Chariot Wheels, &c.
(«) Sachevbral.J Dr. Hen. Sacheveral, fa«
mous at the latter End of Q^ Anne's Reign, for a Sermon*
twice preach'd, on the Danger of the Church, from the
Text In Pml§ at^iot^falfe Bntbrpf^
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84 "The MO hi AD I or.
The feparated Tard^ to Gangs ^o cou'd
Shed a new \^orthiet («) John the CHAtJi**
TfeR's Blood,
Did Chaunters ftilU like faperftitipus, creep
To warble Pray'r fp early, half afleep.
Around the Walls a panic Horror fpreads.
And the torn Gaftle quick DeftriiSion dreads ?
For fcarce more thund'ring in Egyptian Wars
To Battle rufh^d Scy th*arm'd their Iron Carrs^
As now this defperate (e?) deck'd Carr of Hides,
Twice twofold Murder rolling on its Sides,
Tremendous ^tna in his Bull- Face glows.
From whofe ftrong Hold the Rein full length-*
en'd flows.
Chin, Cheeks, Nofe, Forehead, all of Rubyfeem,
And like Carbuncle his flanlM Eyeballs gleami^
Pyrois,
(n) John the Chauwter.] A Ghauntcrof St. Pe-
t^r*s of that Name was heretofore murdef'd in the Glwftera,
as he was early in the Mornit^ g(>ing to otlebrate AlattinaL
(o) So I venture poetitailiy «» ftyk a Gcifceh^
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Battle of the Voice. 85
(p) Pt£ois, fell Planet ! in hia Orbtt ne*cr
So fir'd of Afped roU'd his bloody Sphere.
Nor thePoftillion, in Tann'd Coftt of Mail,
And Ox-l;ude Helmet, fails with Look t' afiail :
So valiant, keeOi and eager to fubd^e,
^ach darts his Glance <^« to run a Thoufand
through.
Horienien, thpir Pctronels in Holfters pUc'd,
With Crefts embofs'd, and gorgeous Cyphers
graced,
A crwona'd flick Troop, ^ Livery a-Jbrt^
Politely ruftic, the gay Wheels ?fcort.
Odober brifkly mantles in the Eye,
And ^Road-Beef Gravy feems the Lips to. dye.
Though bulky Beef-Men of the Moon-fac'd
Guard r ^ t
[ny hard^
Shew Cheeks iefa broad, and Backs leis braw*
Yet whifker'd Huflars, fierce in Caps of Fur,
Lofs bciijdy beld to fivi^kfii .^kirmiijii Ipor.
Such,
(p) Ptrois.] a Name of the Planet Mars*^
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86 ^Tbe MOBIADi or^
Such, lo ! the Equipage. -~ Shall Clio tell
What {q) Hero loads the vaunting Vehicle ?
No J — fmiling gravely, fhe refers the Strain
To her fweet Sifter of facetious Vein,
Who thus, — perfifting in the comic. Pin,
Sings Wbatj — not Wbo^ — the mighty Mars
within.
A fliot-free Warrior, who, in Home Cam-
P^'g"** [Swains J
Commands Dog -Armies, ^nd Dog- kindred
And, train'd a modern NimroD of the Field,
Makes modern Wild-Beafts — of the Paddock —
yield,
That not Hircania's Foreft-Records tcU
There Tygers by fo vaft: a Havock fell
As fall the dreadful'ft Harts, whilft boldeft Hares
Are vanquifh'd eaiily as Russia's fiears.
Brave
(q) Hera.} This Kaurc of a Coadi and Six, &c. was
drawa from the Life, allowing for poetic Embellifliinent.— «
[This Gentleman wmsfonu Hmourary' freeman ; thet^b inde^d^
and in Jemm emd hUmn Truths I have forgot partieubrfy
mo.}
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Battle of the Voice. By
Bravely as (harp-fet Trojans, for their Food,
Fought Harpies, he aflaults Cods o* the fFood:
Undaunted as an jifric Hunter tracks
The Oftrich, he fell Patridges attacks i
And fats a more inhofpitable Way
With Blood of Snipes, — and fuch dire Fowls
of Prey!
Ev*n HE, for Country*s Good, leaves Country
Chace,
To head fome City Dregs of Populace ;
Leaves the iymphpnious Hovvlings of the-
Hound,
That Packs of Human Barkers may furround.
And with more favage Harmony cry Sound!
But hufti ! For lo ! a more than tuneful
Strain
Enchants the Ear : A long and noble Train,
Approaching, captivates my dazzled Eye,
So bright, fcarce Morn fo brightly gilds the
Sky.
L Say,
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88 The MOBIJD; or.
Say, whofe the Tweadle-tweadlc fweet, who
thofe
That the long bright Proccffion thiis compofe.
In Order, as, with too impeded Speed,
They their fuperior Chiefs-of-Rule precede*
In prime j a fpruce yet formidable Clan
Come marching, as the Civil Army^s Van,
^/^i&/Conftables, well knowing of their Weight,
And Title, once (r) imperial of Con^eeit*
His Step each fortifies with Staff, full quaint
With Decorations of refulgent Paint:
As Trojans trufty, {$) with a righteous View
Cull'd all to ad: impartial Jor the Blue.
How
(r) Conftable being deriy'd from ifiwwf -liable, and from
Koning comes the abbreviated. Title King.
{$) With a righteous Fiew.j All the Gonftablcs arc of the
Blue Party, as the Party afFe£te to be intitled. Their being
thus cuird is a notable Inftance of Jufticc and Impartiality f
And who Can fufpe£l an ill Caufe to be under-hand ferv'd
thereby, lince Magiftrates of any Honour and Con(cience
would deteft and fcorn any vile Management ? To be furc
their candid and neighbourly Defign is only to* take the
Trouble of keeping Peace, (^c. i^c. off the Hands of
others.
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Battk of the Voice.- 89
Ho^ wife, how juft, the Projedl thus to bar
Againft the Perils of unnatural Wzx I
For when the wicked God of Fadlion finds
An equal PowV plac'd with repugnant Minds,
In Colleague Breads he kindles hoftile Spite,
And goads the very Guards of Peace to fight :
Whilft here's the fole Contention and the Pride,
Wh6 beft can buftle on the rightful Side.
But ~ foftly, MwsE : ^ That Leader ONE
difplay.
Who ftruts fuch an important (t) A per se*
Of bonny Port, a-head the gallant reft.
His tipp'd Battoon now ftay*d an-end on Breaft,
Now in his Grip — (too dignify'd to wield
A Peftle more !) — by the pois'd Middle held,
L 2 With
(/) A FER $£,] That is to fay an Ahy bimfitf; the Van-
leader of the Alphabet, the headuig Letter, Jie very Jlpba^
the Prime of all the fubfequent ones* Chaucbr ufes the
Phrafe, and it is a very fignificant one. I abhor no expre{<^
five Words for their bciog atttigm^
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90 ^be MOB IAD I or.
With moft puiflant Sail their (u) chofen Chief
Steers his rigg'd Pageantry of Manly Beef.
What happy Union in his Eye we fee I
Where Sweetnefs has efpous'd Ferocity !
Farts in his Frame Paris and Hector crave j
Strong, .elegant, brifl?;, beautiful^ and br^ve.
With lefsJDecorum Chriftmas Mummpr ftruts
Than on He bears his goodly Grace of Guts,
Though that fame Mummer (^x) England's
Heroe plays.
And Dragon,with his Whineard's Flouriffj flays,
No
(u) Cyanits, al. George £, the Druggift, who gat to
be the Captain Cmftaile b; bidding higheft for the Short Staff*,
;ind procured it to be tipp'd at each End with Silver, his
Name ehgrav'il thereon, with the Date of the Year.
(x) Engbmd*s Hir9e.'\ St. George for England. At
Chriftmas are (or at leaft very lately were) Fellows wont to
go about from Houfe to Houfe in Exeter it mumming ; one
pf whom, in a (borrowed) Holland Shjrt, moft gorgeoufly
be-ribbon'd, over hisWaiftcoat, (sfc. flourifliing a Faulchion,
yery valiantly entertains the admiring Spectators thus :
*' Oh ! here comes I Siidt George, a Man of Cout-d^c bold,
•« And witk my Spfear I wiftn'd three Crowns of Gold,
f' i (lew thfe Dragbn, and brought htm to the Slaughter ;
ff And by that very meant I married Sa^raj the beauteous
. tf I^ing oflEgyft'% jpa^ghtcr. — Play Mafick."
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Bdttk of the Voice. 91
No Hamlet's Ghoft can more majeftic' hold
His Truncheon, nor Stage-HANNiBAL io bold j
Nor one of all the (y) Raggamufiian Guard
Of South*nhay Fair more ftately bears the Tard.
See I whilft aright wide-throated Franticks fhout.
With nodded Thanks he chears the rafcal Rout;
His Ruffle ihak*d encourages the Roar, r •
° [o'er.
And fmil'd Rewards his gracious Muns flood
Next {z) Beadi-es (as in Packs of Cards be
{a) Knaves,
Two Couple juft) with Brazen-headed Staves,
In
(y) Raggamvffian Guard.'} A 'F^r being held in our
Southernhay Aug. i. a Parcel of moft be- tatter 'd Fellows,
furnifliM with Truncheons, of about a Yard in Length (and
therefrom, I fuppofe, dencwninatcd Yardf-men) are fwomto
keep the Peace, &c. &c. &c.
(%) Beadles.'] Thofe whohi we commonly call Staves
hearers^ from the Staves with large brazen Heads which they
carry in their Hands on Duty. Fn the Chriftmas Quarter
they become Bell-men of the Night, and thump carefully
and frightfully at our Doors, at every Turn repeating, in
the moft abominable manner that can poffibly be conceived z,
Bull-dog could by the Gift of Speech pronounce with a
Flitit^ftone in his Moufb^ the md): wretched and hideous
Rhymes ^er made by the viicft Devil of a PoeU See p. 83^
(n) Knavful or Gnaves, Tji^ Name originally means
4^Q
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92 "the MOB IAD I or.
In tuck*d Blue Vcfts, and Bonnets Gbld of Brim,
(What Turk's Head Sign ftarcs, tho' muftach*d,
fo grim ?
Whofe Brows o erwhelm'd with (b) Varlet
Haughtinefs
Them fignalizq Journcymen-Juftices,
March, throwing Looks of Magiftracy round.
As if to menace Stocks, B^k^ate^ or Pound ;
(Stocks for th* Unupright, or poor Swearer's
Feet,
And Pound for Hogs caught vagabond in Street;
Where flarving oft' the Strollers wail, attacked
By trading Juftice on the Vagrant A6t).
The Staves they bear, -^ from whence Stavt'^
bearers we
Them call,— are Staves of Vaflal Dignity j
Not thofe which in black Winter Nights with
Knock
From Reft us ftartle ~ but to learn the Clocks
Or
no worfe than mere Servants^ (thus in an old Tr^nibtioOt
Paula knave ofjefus Chri/i)^ or Serjeants, Servimtis.
(h) Variety perhaps, meant little more formerly thm <]o^
Vakt now.
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Battle of the Voice ^ 93
Or feel tremendous Rhyme, in muipbling wife
Croak'd horrible, our tingling Ears chaftife.
When difmal Voice, and difmal Clink of Bell,
Inflidt Good-Morrows with {c) Death, Judg-
menf, Hell.
Minftrels, in Cloaks, for Age how reverend !
From whofe grac'd Necks priz'd Silver Chains
^"P""'^' [blow
Come, whofe BafToon, Trump, and Recorders
Exftatic Glee before the Grandee Show ;
Whilft on each Side a Vocal Thunder peals.
And far and wide the walking Pomp reveals j
Crowds upon Crowds, as in capricious Trance,
As if to ramm the ftarting Pavement dance.
.. The
(c) Death, iicl2 This refpeflsthefc their Verfes (wbicli
indeed may be efteemM their beft) viz.
" There is Four Things confider well,
*' Death, Judgment, Heaven, and Hell;
** Which if in Caufc you do negleft,
*• Unquiet Reft you m;iy expert ;
** Good-morrow Mr. Such an one (Thump !) &c. &c. &c.
Though I am apt to fear that if in Caufe many among us
did not negleft to confider of thefe Four Things, they would
take lefs quiet Refl than ufually they tah. ,
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94 "Ibe MOBIjiDi or.
The trampled Stones refound, and ev ry Door
And Cafement rattle at the glad Uproar.
So when fweet Orpheus ftruck the artful
Chords,
That eloquently warbled magic Words,
A friiky Joy Bulls, Boars, and Bears poffefs'd.
And Apes and Affes vy'd to caper beft;
Dales, Hills, and Woods, and Rocks, and
Dens around.
Kept Time in Rapture at the quick mng Sound.
In gorgeous Robes, and Hats fuperb of Lace,
Four Serjeants follow, each with mighty Mace ;
Not thofe dull {d) piteousToys which heretofore
Hain, Oxenbere, Evans, and Staplehill
bore,
Whofe
(dj Toys."] They have now very handfome Maces. But
their former ones were fuch pitiful Things as might defcrve
Ridicule almoft as well as tlie Mace of Lydfordy dcfcrib'd
by the old Poet Mr. Brown thus,
• A Piece of Coral to the Mace,
* Which there I faw to fcrve in Place,
' Might make a good Child's Whiftle/
But ours, I confefs, might have been converted into toler-
able Punch-Ladles.
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battle of the Voice. ' 9^
Whofe hollow Knobs, and Stems minute and
fliort,
Shew'd as for Rattles made and Childrehs Sport,
But crdwn'd, and to magnificent in Mode,
They'd worthily Four Heralds Shoulders load^
Be-crown'd with Cap of an Umbrella's Size,
Rich Velvet, richer in Embroideries,
Comes burley He, who, as of Spades the King^
Bears Sword txt&. j — a fine and fearful Thing.
Cou'd Duke inrob'd at Coronation e'er r- .
[bear?
With Gait more courtly the (e) Curt an a
Or €ou*d a (f) Liftor's Ax and Fafees fpread,
if drawn from its fair Scabbard, keener Dread ?
Behind this Guardian Arniour-bearer pace
The Pr^tor and his Peers, Brace after Brace}
Ah I too opprefs*d to ambling fweep along
Through the Ten-deep, clofe-thrufting, noify
Throng,
• M Though
(if) Qirtima*'\ The unpointed Sword bome at Coronations*
(f) Liaor* 5 Ax' and Fafees.^ Such were bome before tho
Cohfiila and Emperors of antient Rome.
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96 The MOB I AD I or.
Though is with Buftle a ftreight Alley madej
And pious Bowings own the dread Parade.
Who, and how dignify 'd, grate Goodeis, fay
The Sages of the Worfhipful Array :
Say, has Lycurgus here affum'd the Gown,
And Solon, Side by Side, took Rule in Town ?
Say Muse. No : — Cautious of Conftrudion
wrong,
A trembling Veneration checks the Song,
Nor She thofe Graces hopes to deck her Lays
Which joined whilom in Sir John Adee's Praife,
Whence Bays fo vaft foreftalling (g) Barret
won.
He hardly left a Leaf to browfe upon ;
Who Phoebus* Son thrice told ! his own Work
"^^^^ [rung;
Whilft, hackling fawn, his Grumbler - Viol
That
{g) Barret. 1 A FelloTHf who went about with a Bafe-
Viol (though he never could play one Tune in his Life) on
which he, as we may %, hacked and fa^'d?. grumbling
graft Koiie, caliiag it pkofing Btffe* He ws^ (^e Aa^hor o£
the Ballad on Mr. Adee, who afium'd, in J^il€t> tbe Tide
of Sir John Adfu See more in a fucceeding Note. -
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Battle of the Voice. 97
That ne'er fo gruff a Melody cou'd fpring
From a Morifcan Bladder-and-a-String.
Time-nicking Bard ! who with fuch cogent Eafe
Could'ft the refined Tafte of Chamber pleafc !
Thus the like ruftic lucky Lays could bring
On Pan the l^udful Judgment of a (b) King.
That cbofen Band whom we the Vaward faw.
The executive Potence of our Law,
Entering the Roof of Juftice, Strife, and Storm,
With ordered Staffs a Lane, detruding, form ;
Which ere Chief-Rulers through can pene-
trate, rr-,
[Gate ;
Th^ inipatient Million jaumbing choak the
And there might ftick^ but that th' effedive
Sway
Of backing Shovei^s clears th* obftru£ted Way.
Rough Anarchy floods blundVing in amain.
And furly Riot chafes pervcrfe to reign.
M 2 Routs,
(h) King.] Viz. Midas, who dccrcc'd die Prize to
Pan, even againft the God of Mufick and PoeOy himieB>
Apollo^ or Phobbv9*
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98 Ihe MOBIAD, or,
Houts, after Routs, *fore-ftumbling R©ut3
difplace,
Then to new Forcers yield the feized Space.
The vaunting He6tors of athletic Frame,
'VVhom does Epconian Speegh [i) Rumbulx-i an§
name, rr
' ' [icorp
Cleave with tempeftWs Drift the? Prefs, and
To find a Paflage, fince to make it born.
Like that bold (k) Keel which broke ftrong
ViGo*s Boom, . rn
[Room :
Tl^e headlong Ruffians burft ^therpfelves a
(/) Rumhullians,] V^e Exomans^ who have fome Words
peculiar, I believe, to ourfelves, call furious, headftrong,
headlong, boifterous Men, Rumbullian Fellows.
(k) KeiL] Keel, as poetically does Carina in Latin,
heretofore fignify'd a whole Ship. But wit^iout having
Recourfe to fuch its old Meaning, or to a Figure in
Khetorick, it is properly enough us'd in itsprefent Accep-
tation of only Part of a Ship, The Exploit here referr'd to
is in the Expedition at Vigo, in 1702, When Admiral Uop^
fofiy in thq Torbay.. catting his Cables, and clapping on all
his Sails, bore up upon the Boom laid acrofs the Streight,
fn^ brojce through it at once ; thpugh it was made up of
Mafis, Yards, Cables, Top-Chains, and Cafks, feften'd
jQgether with Ropes^ feveral .Yards bx Circumference,
under-rui> with Haujjers and Cables, arid i?et)t fteady by
Anchors taft on both Sides of it.
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Battle of the Voice. . 99
The Numbers, fwagging, on each Flank give
way ;
jFor Force muft over-bearing Force obey.
ThuSi mid - way the Canal {l)y where
Drudges flow . r^
To (tjn) Isca's Port Ship, Barque, .and Ligkjtgr
With mafly Bars. Wights of herculean Brood
Sluice-Fenders lift, to equalize the Flood 5
O'er violent the eager Waters guih
Through the fmall Opes, and onward roaring
puili, "'
Daih rapid on the flaky Banks, the Soil 1
And Pebbles thenpe expel, high-froathing boil, 1
And the whirl'd PQnd with mad Copteft im- j
broil. j
But
(I) Canqlf] There js a Faflage cut for Ships to and from
Topfliain, vulgarly callM thcifoVw, corruptly^, or con-
tracftedly, for Haven. The particular Place here meant is
what we properly enough call the Double Loci. The De-
fcription of the Water's violently gufliing thro' tb^.Slu|cq|
&c. is precifely natural and juft. ' /,' '
{m) I/ca's Port.] The Kay of Exeter.
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100 Ibe MOBIjiD; t>ry
Butheark! That Bell which yells a fwift
Alarm r
[too warm,
When {n) guilty Hearths inflame the Town
Now, on the Guildhall's lofty Forehead fwings,
And, quick, around its warnful Tinkle flings.
Its Jingles to more clofe Attendance call
Attending Freemen in th' interiour Hall.
Up Stairs direct fair Ceremony leads
Sedate to Confult the determined Heads :
For wifls Sufpicion, hankVing near the Door,
The Confuk's but of Things refolv*d before.
But not behoves it our mean Muse to learn
State Myfteries of fuch a high Concern.
Let her, content, a furer Track purfue.
And fing but Matters level with her View.
^nd what though Tongues of Virulence may
■ flirt
Their low Afperfiona of malignant Dirtj
.^ • . .V . , ' Short
* (h) W^n Chitoncys af e bn fire, this Alarm Bell is rung ;
and the Inhabitant of that Houfe whoib Chimney was In a
Blaze, is to fuffcr a Finp. ^ v
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Battle of the Voice. loi
Short of the Reach sire the foul Slanders jfaot,
Scom'd and derided, nor at all befpot.
So the firm Guildhall high ereds its Head,
And, while Straw-Bonfires choaking Darknefs
fpread,
Its brifk Serene*s fcarce fuUy'd by the Cloud,
Nor dreads the Rage of widen'd Gutter's Flood,
Heedlefs fees wizzing Squibs and Crackers fly,
And bids the Rocket's direr Bounce Defie.
But worfliipful lafl Year's Triumvirate,
The Leafh who aid the PR-ffiT0R*s Chair of
State,
Share his Fatigues of Law, nor let, 'tis faid.
His Worihip ev'n at Dinner want their Aid,
But help at taking Bowl as well as Bail,
M /luffing Jerkins as at ftoffing Jail,
Call'd Stewards now, but erji were Bailiffs
nam*d,
Bfii CutGbpoles had the honeft Style defamM)
In
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102 The MOBIADy ar,
In fable Robes, which on the Shoulders x\i4
In folemn fort, and ihape the Afpefl: wife,
Prefide at Board below, — or haply treat.
Their apt Ambition with the Judgment Seat*
With Warrants ftampM on each officiousf
Face
StafF-Officers, too, ieize tb* internal Place :
l"hick as the Darts which mounts the rorcu-
piiic
Their Arms eredi with gilded Glory fhine,
Nov«r Walnuts crackle *tweeii the Grinder
Jaws,
And bufily engage the peeling Claws -$
While brifk the Glafs, with whittling Sherrts
crown'd, ^ a
[goes round ;
Quips, Bams, and Bobs, and waggifh. Fraud,
Jokes which did Isga pride in, when ^twas Wit
To twirl the Hat, twitch Wig, or Knuckles hit|
To tickle with a Straw, or fplafli your Shin,
Diftart the Face, twick Ear, or thruft a Pin.
A
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B(Utk of the Voku 103
A Monkey fo by Mows and Friiks attefb
Himfelf the Wit moft parlous of the Beads.
But mod of Wit claims he who greatefl: Share
Of Nuts can fcrabble, or of Bottle clean
The chewing Bibbers ftrikc with envious
Pain
The Routs behind^ who fuck their Lips in vain^
Unlefs fome noting Friend-in-Court beftow
A Bumper,^— or for Kindnefs^ — or for Show^
Mean while thofe Courtiers^ thus at Banquet,
loud.
Keep Time fymphonious with the outer Crowd,
Whoi burning to the Strife, in Toil rejoice,
Profufe of Sweat, and prodigal of Voice ;
And as they mord imbibe the hoftile Jar,
They thirft the more infatiatc of the Waf *
Lefs, and lefs fuiious, fwells the mingled Roar,
When Winds and Billows fjbrm at once the
Shore.
, N For
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104 T^^ MOB IAD I or^
For Colour chiefly Ac Difputes abound.
And Rants for die momentous Beft of Sound,
Some for the Telltm hoarfly yell, and fbme
Belch grofly Blue! — unknowing both for nsDhom.
f A Moment now again to rooflefs Air,
For more diftindt Infpedion, Muse ! repair;
The baleful Fruits of rougher Strife exj^ore.
Or young in Bud, 6r rotting-ripe at Core.
Around pay'd Eyes fee fervent Rifings glow,
Of Cafl; more various than the Show'ry-Bow 5
And Teints of Or and Azure on the Cheeks,
The Blue and Tellow, ftriving Hues, conmrii
A fady Green, which Fert leara'd Heralds call.
And Gules and Sables, Red znd Black, withal.
See halting Legs fore to the Senfe proclaim
Their Wrench by Wreftliogs, or by Spurns
their Maim.
Sec, fqualid Patches on the bunch'd Brows tell
What knuckles have bangM up a motly Swell.
Sec
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Battle oj the Voice. 105
Sce^ clotty Stains, red, dribbled on the Clothes,
Mark Civil Blood flied by uncivil Foes^
Whofe unbroke Buffet, or ill-warded Poach,
The Temples fcarr'd, or fet the Nofe abroach.
Survey that Tow'rof Flelh with fawcy Pride
Grieving yond* Pillar with his leaning Side,
As if an Ape of Sampson bent to move
The Frontier Columns from their Charge above*
What Name foe*r might his firfl Sponfbrs chufe.
The licensed Verfe ftiall that of Carnage ufe.
Referv'd of Voice, compact of Force, hcftands,
Morofe & glum, with crofsM imbofbm'd Hands.
His gloomy Looks ,affed a fterner Air
Than Hogarth's {e) hack'd grim Swordfman
in the Fair,
And, glouting fcornful, with Defiance watch
For fome Mob-A jax, fole a worthy Match 5
Nor ovm him y^ ; but with difdainful Toes
He mean-ti^ie fpuras approaching meaner Foes.
N 3 So^
(0) See Southwark Fair by Hoc ART h«
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io6 ^tbe MOBIADi or,
So» as the Bull at Stake like grimly ftands,^
And lours a Challenge to the Shamble-Bands,
Stout duels all their brindled Maflives round.
And cafts them, falling, to imprefs the Ground i
Thougl> Thripe ally'd (hot on he'jd work to fliog.
Beyond the S^egpard of thp partial Ring ;
Yet fanghl?fs Whelps play'd yelping on hc'4
fcorn
Should feel the Credit of his chaft'ning Horn j
But, while aloft adult Dogs whirling fly,
He'4 fooj their (icfpipable Puppies by*
Oh blind to Fate ! thou too prefuming *ftrong !
The deftinM Match, amid the inner Throng,
Like arrogant, will foon the Lifts demand.
And meet thy Vaunting withCorredion's Hand;
With wringing Gripe Left-hand on Throat fhall
' [maul.
And th' heavier Right thy quacking Bofom
Hence, haukipg ropy Blood, lame, blindj and
fore, ., -
[deplore.
Thy Mprrow*§ Grpans fjiall vapour'd Strength
An4
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Baftk of the Vdce. 107
And in thy wallowed Bed be Solace vain
That thy Foe, wch'ring, moans an equal Pab,
Or that Time fitter may clear Stage allow»
And HfRCULES lefs neuter to thy Vow : —
For anxious Dread fhall rather plague thy Soul^
XiCft Bindings-over more thy Fift$ controul.
Endcftbc jFmrtb Cantoi
CAN'EO V.
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io8 The MOB IAD; or,
CANTO V.
WHether the haughty Dcfpot of the
{a) Air
In flormy Ctbuds (till holds imperial Chair,
Or in infernal Den awaits his Doom,
Referv'd in {b) Everlafting Chains of Gloom,
Above our Soaring mounts, or too profound
Lies for the Plummet of our Gucfs to found.
To Clerks more vers'd in Lore abftrufe we leave
Full Proofs on either Side— or both — to weave.
Too
(a} The Air.} . According to Ephes. it. 2. 7he Princi
of the Power of the Air^ the. Spirii'thaf mw worketb in the
Children of Difobedience. See alfo Hiftoty of the Devil.
(b) Everlajling Chains^ &c.] According to Jui>E, ver. 6.
7he Angels which kept not their firji Eftate^ but left their
own Habitation^ he hath referved in Everlajiing Chains
under Darknefs^ unto the Judgment of the great Day.-^
II. Peter it. 4. Cajf them down to Helly and delivered iat^
Chains of Darknefs^ to be refervfd unto Ju^gmmt.
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Battle of the Voice. 109
Too well wc knciw, though we too rarely muid»
His {c) Angels here too frank Reception find.
When whifp'ring fly Temptation to the
Thought,
And twitching by the Paflions to be naught,
(d) Not that, as in Old-time^ now Midnight
hears
Fiends roaring wake Folk to negle^ed Pray'rs.
No longer are their Feet fpy'd cloven now.
Nor lampy Eyes more broad than Saucers glow.
No maudlin Bibbers, tho* they doubly view.
In {e) Mary-Arches-Lane, by Glance aflcew.
See Coffins opening, or White Shrouds to ftalk.
Or Palls and Cloaks in black Proceffion walk.
No flaihilig Coaches over Belhill rove.
As if Salmoneus mimic Thunder drov^
Though
(c) Jfigils.) R«ad Mat. xxv. 41. Rev. ^il 7^ g«
This. xii. 5, &c.
(d) Note, The feveral terrible Things in this Part of the
Poem detailed were really reported, nay and believed, to
have been feen, felt^ heard, and underftood, in Emter,
(i) This Lane is one of the moft common Avenues to
&e common Burial-Yard, viz. St. BARTHOLOMSvr's.
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no ^ MOBJJDi or.
Though empty (/) Cafks, by Rakes from
Grocer's Door,
Down tumbled rumbling, haply flartle morCi^
No Headk/s'Hor/e neighs AroUing Wench to
Nor drives Boys, late out-ftaying, home — ta
No Goblins fluggKh Sabbath-bfeaker roufe
To hurry to the Churchy — fure Safety's Houfe.
A Burglar, loadcri with new-plurider'd Pelf, '
Efpies no mortal Thing (g) worfe than himfelf.
The Waits may now, in {b) blackeft Months
go through
Evn ihtfu/picious Clofe of Bartho'mew,
Nor
(f) At the H^aJ of Bellhill lately lived a Grocer, who
too oftei^ left empty Hogfheads all Night at his Door, at
but a narrow Paflage.
(i) ff^wft^Hc. ] Thofe who, on hearing Talcs of
Walking Devils, &c. in Exeter, wouM fignify that they'
for their Parts never beheld any fuch, ufe to exprefs them-
felves thus: — 1 thank God^ Pve gone all Hours of the Nighty
in many fufpicious Places^ and yei mverfawony Thing worjo
than my f elf.
(h) Blackeft Month.) They have or had a Notion that irt
the black Month (as they call it when the Days are at the
ihorteft) the Devils are the moft privileged to roam about^
9Jid
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^aitie of the Void, ifi
Kttr by that Calvary hear difmal Groan
But difmal that from fnuffling Courtai blown,
Nor (/) Southgates Porter now lets in a Mift
At Night's dark Noon whom woa'd he hit to
Icifs*
£v*n in Church-l^orciies — . ( Antient Gran-*
dams told)—
Ifl Winter Nights lewd Mof nlo*s, — horrid bold !
3y us BuUbeggars bight^ were yelling heard.
And dev^lifli Rackets in the facr^d Yard.
Then {k) yack-in-Lanterti fooling would miflead
Through Bog and Brake: the Sot's benighted
Trea4
O Sprights
and play their devililb Tricks; whereby the fercriading
.Waits, in their nightly Walks, ,us*d very particularly to be
ifrightenM, and to fcamper offl Thof<i are cali'd fujpiciiu$
Places where People had hangM themfelves, died fuddenly,
&c. Churches, and Church-yards, and empty Houfes, uic
here to be ^allM fujpicims Places.
(i) I remeteiber it was reported, and believed, that,
during the Porterihip of Old Mr. Nichols at S, GaU^
the Devil in Shape of a fine Gentlewoman us'd to give a
fmgle Knock, juft after Twelve o' Clock at Night, and
was let in conif antly by bim*
(i) ydei-in^Lanfem^ the fame as mU-^tth-a-Wifp i
tbe ignis fatuus*
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112 7be MOBlADi or^
Sprights were as frqquent in void Hoi\fes then
As were in lonely Lanes grim (/) Gagger^men^
Then frighted Candles gave, by flamihg blue.
The fure Oftent Ibmc Ghoft's Approaqh to rac j
Down went the Cards, though Trumps, for
Satan^s Booksy
And each beheld a Ghoft — in t*other*s Looks.
Then in the Streets dead Scavengers wou'd
drive
As natVal Wheelbarrows as when alive.
In Meadows then, by Mcbnfhine, frilky Elves
In Circlets, handing, tripp'd to breathe them-
felves 5
* And where their petty Toes went feady round.
More .floric? Pafture dignify *d the Ground :
To Nurfe a^dream then wou*d they dealing
glide.
And foftly draw her Bantlin from her Side,
And
(I) G^ggermm.) So we ufed to call Plagiaries, JCidnap-
pen, or Bov-ftealers, from the Ga^s they are reported to
ckp in the .Cbildrens Mouths whom diey have fpifi^^^
away.
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j
Battle of the Voice. 113
And in its ftead flip a young Fairy Brat, 1
Thrice taller than themfelvcs, more grofs, I
and pat
As Ukci as if Twin-Blrother born to that.
Then Puck — (or Gpodfellow) — from
Room to Room
HurrdConjb, Cowl, Shoe^ Trowfers, Beads,
Ladle, Broom ;
And when wou'd fumbling Beldams Pitcher fill.
Joggling their withered Arms the Ale he'd fpill 5
Nay, oft* overturn the Chamber's needful Vafe,
And with foul Deluge ill-perfume the Place j
Sometimes long Grafs o*er Paths in Knots he*d
•"' [fly.
And upwards make DoLt Milkmaid's Trotters
But now they're banifh'd quite, nor big as Eft
One to be lafh'd by («) Demogorgon left.
Not Oberon returns j nor Mab his Queen
By Cynthia*s and by Colun's Eyesisfeen.
O a Wc
{m) Dmogorg$n.) ' Sec J)ryden*« Fable of 735^ FUmtr
and thi Liaf.
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11^ The M OBI AD} pr.
We not their pootfteps fe^rch; But whcn.w«
view
The Graffy Ringlets fhine of greener Hue,
Conclu4e we Compoft, for Manuring brought,
With richer Juice the bordVing Verdur?
wrought. ^^^^^
/rj?c Fiends whigh on^p did frightful Rputiags
In Porches, now turn but-|hut Dogs afleep,
Hence the pld flaraing Sprights prove Glow^
worms novy.
And Guttur Glyppfes Whitens Heads we know.
Hence Deatl>-w?it(;hcs, Y^Jiich often flew the
Sick,
Are now found Infeds of a harmlefs Click*
Hence fkittVing Rats VP R^ts^ whflfe Squeaks
not fcare
With Fairy Talk the fuckling Nurfc's Ear.
To Manhood hence Exonian Mothers bring
Ten Politicans ere one {n} Cban-geJing.
Hence
(«) CbangiUng.) Many vulgar People here in the Pro^
nunciation of the Word nxakc it confift of TJirec SyUabl^j^
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Battk of the Voice. 1 1 c
HeoceY^j Maurus native Wit retains; and
hence
Shrewd {p) Manlius preserves his Infant Senfe.
Hence qualifyM is Boy-Trick B— gham found
To mate {q) His Honour^ and difcourfe his
Hound*
Hence H-ck^-k^ manly wife^ though maidly
fair,
Hath fav'd his own^ with Senatorian Air^
To {r)fecond each great Motion of the May'r.
If then, ev*n Fairies have refign'd their Balls,
AflQpjblies, Rings, Maflcs, Wakes, and Feftivals,
»
Old Acheron's mere Dotards^ futely, wou d
Bo-peeping, tcxxiiy \x% to be good.
What Tempers worthy of the Style wou*d gin
Our Hearts by Methods that deter from Sin !
No J the oft* bilk'd Enticers, grown more wife.
Now drcfs up lovely in chousM Mortals Eyes,
And
, (0 Will, (fi) Johk. (j) Hmmr.} Sir H. N-^bcti.
(r) Second.'] This finical and auguft Cbamber^man, on
the Mayor's propofuig a Matter in Council, is prompt to
be the firft to back him, with his «- Mr. Mayor! IJicon^
iboiMtiou*
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i2& ne MOB IAD I or,
Arti luit with Calls inchanting as the Air
Of Farinelli in a Theatre.
Hence, (though with Witch anij Sorcerer by Ad;
Of Senate be cut off each y^rwVCompaft)
They with unwitting 'Souls gain fnug Abodel
And, to mifguide us from the (j) Gofpel Road, >
Attempt to perfonate Envoys of G O Dt j
Some thfey in P^nk\ or Puncb-bowH^ Shape
engage.
In P^lf^ Fbrhi fdme, and feme of E(juipage.
Some whhrffejgift P^ and "Jitk in they draw,
Sonie to make Equity unjdft-^by Jjatio.
No few they urge in Aid of 7rutb to //>,
Some to take Peevi/bm^Mot Piety.
Th^y 'others tempt to make Eledion fure
By fdrmalMein; ftiff-Neck, and Cheeks
dfenlure/ - ,
[take.
Thick - cr jwding Shoals intd their Nets they
By:AGi%irmfiortit (ot:Reli^4onh fikfe.
Who
(s) Cofpel.1 The Etymon is QotPs Spill, ox God's Word.
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Battle of the Voice. jrijr
Who C&mVy sDefciS o*cr-pgy yvith, Cr^^ir,
While warplefs Faith attoncs for trqoked Deeds.
Whole Caravans of wou'd-look Saints they
win, * ru » o-
[hours Sm^
Who fpare their own, and lafti their Neigh-
Or ftrive with PrayV an evil Caufe to prop.
And thank in Pew for fraudful Gain in Shop.
S^ome Profligates they trick by fingle Hojie
To keep from going down, when yielding up
the Ghoft :
Some to ken Heav'n for Reprobates fly ope,
StowM fafe in hallow'd Soil with certain Hope»
Some they infiiare Mif duty to purfue
By chrift ning one, and choufing t other {t) Jew.
Some they teach fpiteful Kindnefs, who abate
To lefs than Itjoppence on the Pauper^Kzi^^
For Amputation of the Votes of fuch
As polled for Forty-Men amifs too much.^
In
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ii8 The MOBIADi cr^
In Portugal, the Choler of the Prieft
They to imprilon, rack, and burn, aflift.
And play the Devil in the' Name of Chrift. J
But they im)ifible bear thus the Prize,
Or mafquerading in a Ipecious Guife j
Who would be flaunn d, were their Complexi*
onsM • ^^^^
Nor hid their 7ailsy Claws^ JtornSj and Cloven
Or from their Throats blue-flaming Belch^;
broke,
And Npftrils fnorted a fulphureous Smoke,
Yet, would we imp with pilfer'd Plumes
our Wings,
Like fome, to foar fublime at flighty Things^
We, by Imagination^ might repair j. . .
Old (u) Pandemonium, or build new in th'
And, fummonM, there, in hellilhPomp convene
Wrath's iiery Demons, and ihofe Fiends of
Spleen,
Which
(u) Pat^dfmomum. See Miltom. Like as Panthkom
mdsns a fidl AfFentbly of die Oocfs, fo Pandmortium fignir
lies that of a]l the Devils.
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Battk of the Voice. * 1 19
Which fa&ious Solym a in Siege fo rued,
Self-ruinM, by inteftine Strife fubdued :
Where (while in State fit Demons of Com-^
mand,
Atid thick around the Goblin Commons Aand)
Might His grim Majefty of Sin harangue,
As in Miltonian Mode^ his Va0ai Gang.
Then might a Poffe of Hell's Rabble ply
Their fmutty WingSj ind to Exonia fly;
And in the Blood of hef ferocious Hofts,
The Stygian Legions take their deflin*d Pofts.
Vadls tofhinel
decline, >
ring Lin<5. J
But as the Must; in beaten Tradls to fhine''
Difdains, (he wou'd Machinery decline.
Proud to have iprung of no afpiring
Nor needs (he an exotic Rage afcribe
To goad a born-and-bred-to Fury Tribci
Whom if to line fuch bellijh Mobbers ftrovc.
They might themfelves in Belial ABs improve.
Suffice it, then, tofay^ their Earthly Kin
Chafe ,as if did a Legion fume v?ithin :
P Their
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lao 7»f MOBIADi or.
Their own Erynnis, to the Muse confeft.
More fires the Brain, more ftimulates the Bread.
«
For we already have digrefs'd too long.
And ought refume the interrupted Song.
Muse ! teach me Notes adapted to rehearfe
Strife rais'd to Tempeft in congruent Verfe!
And fafely fuch bold Hurricane to form.
Curb Thou its Fury, and control the Storm j
Yet whatfoever Pitch the Numbers fly.
Let fmiling Humour ftill accompany.
Count it thfe Inftant when Ned's Face oTire
To five Hours Cooling leaves the heated Quire,
And, with z Back -Lane Cogue 'new-fucFd,
Through Eastoate, redder then an Aulir^an
Then, turn d from London-Inn towMs Li*
VERY-DOLE,
Makes Paris-street to dread a flaming Coal,
That
Fivt Hourty &c.] That is between Prayer and Prayer
Time, from Eleven till Four.
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Battk of the Voice. 121
That each poor Dweller, anxious, eyes his
Left reaching Sparks (z) new Conflagrations
Mean- while Throat-Battle rages; Party Cant
Mingles its foul Antiphone of Rant :
The Babel Clamours, varying, around.
Thus plainly, with confused Diftindion, found:
• Blue /—Yellow !— Sound for HADj>y !— Sound
for Heath ! r. T^ ^i #
[to Death!
« H-a-b! 5i-/jci/— Sound for Yellow— J5/«tf
* The Church jor ever / -^ Down with Perkin's
No Courtiers! — No Mock Patriots ! — Sound
And not a Mouth but what, expanded large.
Does thrice a Threefcore Times its Load dif*
charge ;
And Rogue ! and Dog ! and Rafcal! and Tbu lie!
At ev'ry Turn ailift the ftriving Cry.
P 2 Dreadful
(z) New Conflagrations'] Great Part of Paris-ftrct hal-
ving fome Years fincc been on fire on both Sides the Way^
and the Houfes being, nearl/ all, Thatched*
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123 ^e MOB IAD i or^
Dreadful Ado ! Ere claffi'd cncounterM Swordg
To match fuch combating Hodgepodge qf
Words ?
Were in Old Chaos the like Garboils found.
Or Jargon Brunts of fo embattled Sound ?
Scarce more fonorous In their turbid Cave
Heard Maro's Muse contending Tempcfts
rave.
Like waving Reeds, v^hen Gufts in Auguft vex.
Near iowmoft Sluice, the oozy Fens of Exi,
The brabbling Multitude, amid their Cry,
Flag where o'erwhelm^, and with the Tide
comply.
If were an antick World of Franticks pent.
To dance the hay, in wild Vagary, bent.
Scarce could the refUefs Bedlams, winding, pace
Such tangled odd Viciffitudc of Place :
Nor were they changed in Brain to Wolves,
they'd grin
To bark fo harfh, fo liorrible, a Din.
^Tis
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Battle of the Voice. 123
*Tis Blifs, they deem, diftrading tofs'd, to rowl j
And fouleil Pudder recreates their Soul*
So when rough ^Solus's bluft'ring Train
To foamy Mountains blow the Fluid Plain,
Tumult'ous (a) FiJb^Hogs tumbling Tricks
perform.
Aid the Waves Uproar, and enjoy the StormJ
Scarce ever Sheriff's Subftitute cou'd fee
Such rampant BickVings fhake our Heavy-^ree^^
Where, with authoritative Pikes of Afli,
Bailiffs the Head-defending Cudgels thrafh.
Ne'er did fugh petulant Corifufion rage,
la Weftgate-Quarter on (b) Whit-Monday's
Stage ;
Where bumping Thwacks and the Wail-rai-
fmg Drub
With vaunted Glory Blockhead-Heroes dub.
Till
ftf) The Porpoifcs, or Porcu-pifces.
(b) Every fFha-Monday there h in this Place credcd
a Stage for Cudgd- playing, &c. round about which, as
Wen as on it, are ufiudly moft terrible Doings.
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124 7be MOBJjiDi or,
Till Pates, fad Turn of War ! in dripping Flood,
Aiham'd, give forth the honourable Blood.
Scarce feels our Clime more of Perdition full
At z,(cj Pratorian Beating of the Bull,
When Their fage Worfliips the Town-Pails
allow r I
[throw.
Colds, Fevers, Deaths, in chilling Streams, to
Elbovvs on Chefts repay from Elbows Grief,
And ftamp*d-on Feet by trampling feek Relief,
Eyes, by flapped Hat, with briny Rheum ftruck
blind.
By like Infliftion try a Cure to find.
Bums butting ftickle J Hips, and dafhing Knees,
And rubbing Ankles, fore delighted, teaze.
Perukes,
(c) Pratman BulUiaittng.'] About Three Weeks after
the Election of a new Mayor, a Bull ufes to be brought and
baited before his Door: At Which Time the moft fcandalous
Abufes are pra£lifed with Impunity, yea Applaufe, by ruffi-
an Butchers, &c. throwing Water, dipt up from the very
Kennel, &c, on all Perfons chey can meet with, even in their
own Houfes. The Leathern City- Buckets, prepared for cx-
tinguifhing Fires, are lent to them from the very Guild-
hall for the vile Purpofe. Rare Doings at Bath ! [7%tf
throwing ofWt^tr has ktinjorfmai Tears dijM$*d*^ 1770.3
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Battle of the Voice^ 125
Perukes, now timely njade the Pocket's Care,
Leave, apter to throw Knock, (hav'd Sconces
bare.
Nor ftays exposed (what Place of Wig fupplys)
The worfted Cap, diftind with curious Dyes,
Though {c) Iris dipp'd the Woof not, clam-
my wet,
And (hiniiig with the Pate's hcJt Spring of Sweat,
From off the Neck's hawVd Handkerchief, or
Stock,
To fave from Throttle by a coU'ring Shock*
The Shirt difbutton'd fpreads its Bofom wide.
Or ShaiSi,— worn clean — no cleaneft Shirt to
' [defend.
Yet Gripes, ev'n where broad Shoulder-flays
Shall hideous Chafms in ftouteft Dowlafs rend.
Nor Veft of Drugget moft robuft (ball fcapc,*
Nor Coat of Iron Kerfey, though with Cape
Enormous fortify*d, a ghaftly Width to gape.^
Woe
(e) Iris.) ADuding to Milton's «< Iris dipp'd tbe
Woof. "
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126 the MOBIADi 4>ri
Woe were the Spot, where>— chewing Cuds
^^^P"''' [Smite.
Fell Champions, met, renewed the Knuckle-
There Gibbons, bulky Bolt,, tough Tan-t
NER., Fry,
Foot, Hooper, AsHtEV, Twiggs, mig^t
boxing die.
And cryftal Isca reek,— a ruby Flood !
And more than the {d) Adonis run with Blood,
If fworn Authority, alert at hand,
StaiFinterpofc not, and the Peace command f
Yet, maugre all '**- piqued Braves in flufter'd
State,
Prick'd jealous on by Luft of Fame, or Hate,
And, prompted each by his fomicnting CUo,
Strain brutal Force to provQ the Better Mao*
For
(d) Jdonis.} A remarkable River, near Byihs in Pbasm*
ctOy at certain Seafons, and on fome Occallons, appeari
as if bloody, fuppos'd (fays Milton) with the Blood of
Thammuz, yearly wounded. But the faid Phoenomenon
was long ago declared to be occafion'd by a kind oi Minium
or Red Earthy which the River brou^t away^ wben^fweli'd
tb unufual Heights.
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Bdiik of the Voiii, J25
For Dareman— (of morq overweening Pride
t
Than {e) Gath's Huge Knight, who Israel's
Hoftdefy'd;
Than whofe hone of the pifturM Caesars e'er
Such Jolt-Head did, or Eyes more flaring, bear^
Firm-fet, and riot of Stature high ; full grim
His rough-rhewn A(pe(ft j of ftupcndous Limb,
And Flefh all callous)— Dareman thus aloud
Provokes to Single^Loggerhcad the Crowd :
^ f^roduce a Man^ ye Scolders of the Blue^
^ If Men Wou'd harbour with your beftial Crew,
' With Me in Manhod Skill and Force to try,
* While ftand both Armies joined Spectators by !
* And learn ye all from the Event how ^ar
* Ye may hereafter venture folid War : -.„
^ [Boys,
* Bold though ye dare, by Females help'd and
* To form Attack with Blufterings and Noife:
* His Groans repentant (hall foon caufe to know,
f Tis ours to vanquifli with efFcdtive Blow/
(^ He
(e) GatVs Kniibt.} GoLiAH of Gatby a Giant
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126 The MOBIADi cr.
He faid, clench'd hard his ma^ Fift, and itruck
Ten mighty Whcrrcts with one fighting Look.
Promifc ous Clamours differently rife.
Some to explode, fome to carefs and praife :
But " Sound for Haddy !" and fcarce checkM
« Huzzahs!
So loud prevail from the proud Telhws javrs,
That louring Blues^ abafh'd, a while keep in
Their (f) Stink- Word, and fcarce dare a Hd!
to grin.
But fb not long : For murmur'd Talk around
The irritating Challenger refound:
^' Thus has the braving Bully done^ thus fpoke :
<c Whs^t! no Man dare rebuke him with a
Stroke?
" No Match within ?— Fly, fly, and bruit afar
" Th' Affront among the doughtier Chicfe of
War."
But Fame, induftr'ous with her Trump, before
More fleetly the diffufive Tidings bore.
And
(f) Vw.. Sb-tfack,
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Battk (ff the Voice. 127
And {£) Ate, in Long*Phill's diffembled
Form,
In Carnage blew of burning Ire a Storm :
^^ Hafte, Thou Dependance of our grateful
Hoft,
•* And teach the faucy Tellows how to boaft :
^* But Dareman, if unadtive here thou (lay.
From thee conveys the ufefiil Dread away.
Break thundVing in. — See j where the Brag-
gard ftands.
And proudly brandiihes provoking Hands,
** With Purpofe thee of Glory to beguile,
^* And brand thee with a Coward Lubber's
^* Style/*
fjb) She fpoke, and clapp*d his Loins. Her
coaxing Breath
Infpires a Yovr^^^Witbin an Jncb cf Death
Qj2 To
{g) At 1 3. The Devil of a Goddefs, viz. of Ragp, Dif-
cord. Revenge, Havock, &c. — [blew in 1770.. / W/
TMally forgot thi BuUitt Kames wbUb Long^PhiU and Carnage
flood for, 1
(h) Shi.} That is. Ate in the Difguifc of LoNa
€€
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128 the MOBIJDi or.
To facrifice to Great Revenge, on Foes,
Whole Hecatonibs of Bofom-bafting Blows.
At once a fudden Clap of dreadful Roar
Burfts expeditious through rfie Archy Door }
For^ compafsM with a Rout of Boutefeus,
A Rout of rug^edeft deep-voiced Blues,
And dripping as he comes, the bulky Wight
Tow'rs, pftentatious of his Shoulders Height,
The wifli'd Qccafion feizing; Flfim'd his Eyes
At onpe fight, conquer, triumph, tyrannifc,
Sampson is fiing (i) lefs confident in Wrath
Addrefs'4 to pomqiel Harapha of Gatp,
As when Two warring Ships crowd fajl to
wage
A marine Duel, with proportioned Rage,
Broadfides exchanged their furly Greetings throw,
Ere grappled they their boarding Prowefs (how.
So thefe, reciprocal, thdr Vollles dire '
Qf Maledidion, ere the Clofure, fire,
Aji4
fl) J^f^Ht vi?^. In Mi|.ton's Sawffm Agmfttw
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Battle of the Voice. 129
And with a belch*d-out miflUe Fury warm
Defiance to defy, and Arm meet Arm.
Where^ wbere'^s the Scoundrel t eager Carnage
cries. - ,.
[replies.
'^ Here, Rafcal, here, mov'd Dareman bold
?llrqfcal Tbee, tbou Dog! rejoin'd the firft,
"Villain, come on/' thelaft adds, and be curft.
Choler no farther Parle allows ; and Space
For Adion made would longer Parle difgrace.
But, (hooting prone both with collected Might,
Their obvbus Bulks conmience fubftantial Fight:
Each Lcfthand's Clutches tug^ng gralp a Foe,
And Ri^hthands qlos'd redouble Blow for Blow.
So when grim Mulciber, for Jove his Sire,
Laborious forged the forky Bolts of Fire,
Tenacious one the wizzing Steel did guide,
The ftrongcr Arm the ponderous Hammer ply'd.
The clubby Flfts on Teeth & Trunk refound.
And feem the Brawn with mortal Thumps to
pound.
Chefts
Google
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igo, Ibe MOBIADv or^
Chcfts bruifen jair, the Ribs as fhatter'd craffi.
And bleeding Jawbones clatter, every Dafh.
Each like (k) Epeus aims deftrudlive Pains,
And firm. as an Euryolus fuftains.
Both as. (/) Entellus Bang with Bang requite.
And hard as Dar^s bear the falling Weight.
Head againft Head their ftunning Efforts knock,
Like Rams at Duel for the Female Flock ;
Nor Arm will more Neck at Advantage fparc
Than would aHocKLEY'sMaftiff-huggingBear.
But Legs in-lock'd Antagonift to throw
Oblige that hard Advantage to forego*
The Head retrieved, loft Moments to redeeoa
Of iham'd Inadion, wa{h*d by Nofe a-ftream,
Leaps up ckftic, and Rcprifal draws
Of fcurvy Blood leak'd from the loofenM Jaws.
Surrounding
f«tj Epeus and EuRYOLirs.] Names of Two ftout
Combatants at the Fyqeral Gfunes ^ PATROCI.y& vx
HoM£R*s Iliad, 23.
(/) ^T£xxus and Pares.] Xbje Two jCb^pipns al
the Games in honourary Memory of Anchise^ in VirO.
-ffiaeid. 5.
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Battle of the Voice. iji
Surrounding Routs exdaitn iinore Space to
clear^
»»
And wheelj a living Amphitheatre,
Whilft ibme behind the circling Tumult ipri()g
By Fits to overlook the buftling Ring«
By Wagers fome their Wifhes would fupport j
Some gnarr to fright, and Courage fome exhort ;
And partial Sidings to moleft or aid.
Which multiply the Combat, are aflayM.
Soon fpuf ting Nollrils wouM dye red the Floor
With Inundations, mixt, of factious Gore,
If ftill remifs of fwagg'ring Duty lay
The Sons of {m) Themis of fubaltern Sway;
Or niggard prov'd of Breath and fwelter'd
Greafe,
In troublous Domineering for the Peace.
But foon thdr HighnefTes, whofe huffie Lift
Cauj arbitrary, bid the World affift^
Allarm'd
(m) Thbmis]. The Goddeft of Jufticc« Hiefe her
Ujiderling Sons mean the Cjnfliibles.
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1^2 ^be MOBlADi of^
Alarm'd at fuch bold Neighbourhood, of War,'
With ftretching Necks up ftart within the Bar;
When tlius (n) Cyani/s, by officious Words
To fire his Troop to Adioni Speech affords :—
** Compeers in Poft ! — Do thus our Palms
" retain
" Thefe dread Infignia of our high Domain,
*^ Staffs of Controul, which legally fetch down
" All who not own in Proocf US the Crown ?
" And in the Prcfence, in Our very Coqrt,
" Shdll Sb--facks of Infurgency make fport ?
" I fay,-: Before Us, ^ US, whpfe awfol Word
" Mars ought obey, and drop his lifted Swprd,
*' (Mars, in the Qarb offconcing Grenadier,
" Who'd (o) Tall ranked with Tall Prussia
Guards appear)
" His
{n) George Comings. ^ See before, page • The
Cyanm properly is the Flower called the hbi$ Corn-bottle, and
which our Country- People namcPretty^Jobns^
(o) The King of Pruffia's Delight in very tall IVf en for
his Body Guwd is, not unknown. ^[Ti^ lato King^ Father
of the pnfint^ is me^ni. 1770.]
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Battk ef the Voicu 133
*« His Sword, though for a captiv'd TruH
'ydrawHj
** Or to retakd Habiliments from Pawn ;
^^ Shall Slaves of Orange Badge, fo hetVodox !
*• With ours thus interchange pugnacious
Knocks;
^^ Nor WE, on Whom dares rife no bdtt^rin^
Joint,
" Or cv'n a Finger fear ajfaulting Point,
^' Fall in, chafiizing, aiid Big-ton^d declare,
« With Magifterial Vifage, WHO WE ARE ?
\[ Go to, then; let our brandifliM Arms
maintain ' '
*' US notfekSf to bear tiiofe Arnis in vain,*'
He fai<L His Mates of Dignity unite '
To fpring upon the fueling Crowd in Fight,
Together huddling, fome from off the Bench,
Each with imperious Standard jin his Clench,
And back by their arretted Collars hawl
The Outer Orbits, as for bailefs Thrall $
R And
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134 73&^ MOB IAD y or,
And with fierce Features, in a Thunder's Tone^
Cry, " Keep the Peace ! WE reprefcnt the
Throne.
Their dreadful Charge the inmoft Circles hear,
Refign the Battle, and to Paflage clear :
For yOFE lends off to pAW terrific Grace,
And (hakes his JEois in a Rebel Face.
The Duelifts (though Pride difowns Enough,
Howe'er bray'd Jelly, of the martial Cuff)
Permit to break their pertinacious Fangs,
And fuffer Shelter *mid their friendly Gangs.
So (J>) when the Trojans, forward in the
■ ^"* [Life.
For claim'd Patroclus, fpoil'd of Arms and
Heard, from the Rampart by Pelides trod.
Tremendous as of fome dcftroying God,
His ireful Call, the Valiant felt Difmay,
And even Priam's braveft Sons gave way.
Our
(P) Whm tbt Tnjans.) See Hom, II, lib. i8.
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Battle of the Voice. J35
Our fevcr'd Heroes, fmcat'd widi Muck and
Gore,
Baulk'd Anger folace with Revenge in Store ;
And, lugg'd indignant each a diverfe Way, —
Drink,--hauk,—drink,--fwcar,— drink,— brag a
Juture Fray I
From the fwoln Face half wipe the bloody Dirt^
And Breeches repoffefs with Tails of Shirt,
Difafters fad one guilty Wretch betide.
Who dar'd,un-franchis*d, join the Yellow Side,
And, that he might the bafting Fifts efchew
Of an 'oer-matching anfl*^evengefu^ Blue,
Had from the ope Piazza of the Hall
Slunk in, where to repeat illegal Bawl:
For, there detected foon, he's clafp'd by Xhroat,
And charged with lawlefs bold Intent to vote ;
And, With his Shirt, Skin, Hair, & Jerkin ragged.
Is to {q) the temporary Baftille dragged.
R 2 Somewhat
{q) Temporary BafliUi,\ Vnatitcsll'i^t Back-Gate^ to
which the Conftables arbitrarily, of their own Authority,
commit, by Nig^t, or for a while.
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136 ^ MO BIADy or.
Somewhat the like j— (be (r)DoLESH Strand
the Place) —
When glutton Porpolfe fcares the PUchard Race j
The watchful Fifliermen their Meflaes fpread.
And ftrike the Shole with unexpedled Dread,
Hauling the Scaly Refugees to Land,
With Flutter vain to beat th' inthralling Sand.
Slim'd o'er with Sweat now Clufters juftling
fqueeze
To gafp Refrefhment in unprifon'd Breeze;
Though as fome iffue forth, fome ftill arrive.
Like Bees at Labour to ind from the Hive.
Some to the (s) Tuns^ and fome to Inn refort
Where hangs the whifker'd (t) Soldan of the
Port ;
Some
(r) Doleflf.) A little Fifliing Town, 2 Miles from Teig^-
mouth, 10 from Exitefj famous for fine Pilchards taken
there.
(5) Tuns.) The Three Tuns Inn, adjoining the Guild-
hall.
(t) Soldan.) ITie Turk's I^cad Innj on t^othcx Side the
Hall.
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Battle of the Voice. 137
Some where, in flaming Spice, witja golden
Wings,
The (u) Lonely Bird of fweet Arabia fwings;
Thence to repair the Lafiitude of Lung,
Throat clarify, and glibber oil the Tongue.
When vengeful Greeks, as Homer's Strains
«""• ' [inveft.
Did ftifF-wiird Phryqians and old Troy
Made Deities —(poetic Fleih and Blood)—
Each Side aflifling, to the Combat f^od*
(y) So now, dkigm^ diin liquid Sbapey they(fome)
To the invoking Bands auxlliar come.
{y) Ceres,— moft potentin her bearded Grains,--
With (^2;^TETHYsjoinM, whom f/i^ Vulcan •$
Aid fuftains,
Ceres,
(»} Lonely Bird.) The Pbcenixlxm* This fabulous Bird,
as pidured in the Sigh at the Door, is difplay'd in Gold,
^burning in Spices, &c.
(jf, yj z, tf, b^ e.) So now^ Jtifguis^dy &c,) Here is ven-
tur'd an Allegory, by which under the Perfons or Names of
Ceres^ Tetbys, and Vulcan^ is iignify'd AU ; the firft put for
Barley or Malty the fecond for Water ^ and the laft for Fire j
thp TiyQ latter being, abfobitely necefiary for making Barky
into.
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J38 Tie MOB IAD i or,
* Gere&, the Solace and Support of Life,
Invigorates with ftrongcr Voice the Strife -,
Devon's (^) Pomona helps the Verbal Broil,
Or cooper'd {c) Bacchus haps to reinforce the
Coil.
Now Entries flow hot with a Urine Sea ;
Aiid rattling Walls think Water-Engins play.
From whofe ftainM Corners divers f roathy Rills
Shape Courfe in reeking Conflux o*cr the Hills ;
In fuch quick Torrents the rank Streams com-
bine, , ro •
[Brine.
That ExE grows warm and brackifh with the
And if well-ftation'd Millmen frugal were.
They their embarrel'd Stock of Seg might fpare.
Eels haply think the Tide does downward
drive.
And feafon'd Trouts fear pickling while alive ;
Seiz'd
into Malt^ as well ^s for brewing afterwards. So Pwima
is put for Qf^/r, and Bcuchm for Wim*
(*) Ceres ] The Goddc&of Corn and Tillage. She is
by a Metonymy us'd frequwitly inPoetry for Wheat, Barley^
Bread, &c«
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Battk of the Voice. 13^
S^iz'd with Vertigo may the fuddled Dace
Be feen to ramble on the River's Face 5
Not with intoxicating Berries dos*d.
But ftronger Fumes fwift from the P— fing-Poft.
Libation made to Discord, and renew'd 1
Spent Vigour,- they again, at Hall, intrude >•
With rallied Hubbub, and reftore the Feud. J j
As fiery Bulldogs, when their Shamble-Lords
Slip from their urgent Necks reftraining Cords,
Whofe well-provM Holders drip a foamy Gore,
Spring furious at the Bull, tho* tam'd before, —
So fiercely eager the chear'd Party bound,
Ope-mouth*d, more inftant for the Conq'ring •
Sound. \moijien'd¥oti
Juft Dread ftrikes Silence through th' l/«-
The roaring Hdlf-drunk with new Valour glow*
Difhearted thofe fhrink to the Left and Rights
Thefe, glory'ng, in the Centre brave the Fight*
Yet Courage foon reanimates the Fray,
For timely Aid huzzahs not far away.
Then
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140 Ibe MOBIADi ori
Then breaks all-hideous on the vauntful Crew,
And for theConqueft warms the vanquifli'dfcw.
Lefs Rage the Myrmidons, on Ilion's Plains
To favc the Navy, and avenge the Slain,
, Urg'd— than impels the Succours to the Brawl:
Nor flinch the Hardy of the adverfe Squawl.
Not with fuperior Fury is purfued
A Dog in Paflage near a feathered Brood,
When with up-brirtled Plumes, and Quills a*
fpre^d.
The fcolding Hen, ope-bill'd, aflferts the Shed,
Than what tranfports th* Aflailanfs to the
Charge :
Nor, grinning furly, with Jaws open large.
The Growler on the plumed Herpin turns
Like Ire as which each grim Defendant burns.
Dire the revived Conteft ; The equal Routs
Pelmell aim Havock with contending Shouts.
Shoves repel Shoves, Breaft * Bulkings meet
Rebuffs
But woe the Shins not tann'd to Kicking-proof 1
Yet
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Battle of the Voice. 139
Vet what terrene (hall firm cxift for ay ?
Lungs tho' of Brafs were fubjedl to Decay ;
Snorts of gigantic Noftrils mufl, at kngtb.
Own, in fiiort Pantings, a Decline of Strength.
Too long, too high, the human Organs fprain*d
Crack, — as in th* Adage Bow too much con-
ilrain'd.
But though, at, lengthy maira'd Voices barely
^^^^ ^ ' [provoke.
And ev'n cra^'d Murmurs flrangling Coughs
Yet faultVing Grumbles mutter harfh the Cry,
And widened Mouths mutely a Roar imply :
RefolvM, in loft Refort^ to win Regard,
Like Cocks, and Villains hang d, by dyingbard.
So, at old Chevy,— {fin oldBardling tells s
I'bougb fmird at by our modern Lifideh)^^
When lopping Sword, by nether Chop, has won
The Pedeftals of ftrenuous Withrington,
Though Lofs of Blood his lower Stroke im-1
pairs, [rears,!
On Stumps, — ibe heft be may^ — he Faulchion >
And, to laft Gafp, defcending Backfwordi
dares.
J.
End of tbe Fifth Canto.
S CANTO Vl
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140 the MOBJjiDi or,
CANTO VI,
' I ^ H E Vocal Ammunition fpcnt, witbin,
-*• A while, furbatcd, flinch'd the Rage of
Din>
And but thin Parties, mazy, here and there,
Without^ light Ikirmifliing with Habs / pickeer:
Tho*^///*s deny'd, yet bought Refedion drains
ParchM Legions, panting, from the hot Cam-
paigns;
And though mixt Numbers ftand opposed their
Ground, r ,
I wound J
Battle, ftruck boarfe, ftrives but with Lours to
Or, folitary, a rare random. Cryi^
Feebly affayM, pops difregarded by.
But renovated Coil not long allows
A mute Engagement of but hoftile Brows j
For Hoftels divers, near adjacent, yield
Late Invalids, recovered, to the Field ;
With
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Battle of the Voice. 141
With Effence arm'd of quick-reftoring Mault,
More ftimulated to re-join Aflault^
And,— like fell Hounds from Tault rcclaim'd,—
more ftrong
To open^ as they rudely pufli along*
Now, rallying the fcatter*d Routs of Blue^
Full by the Sconfe fuperior to the View,
Ample his hairy Cheft, Ventoso ftands,
A ftern Colofs, and waves his horny Hands,
Demanding momentary Paufe ; and,-^large
Expanding Jaws,— refufcitates the Charge :
Ardor fuU-fcarlet kindles in his Face,
Which, like a Comet, (hoots a threat ning Blaze;
And thus, with well - ale'd Voice, prepared to
twang K
Rafli Defamation, — belches hoarfe Harangue ;
« How ! Yield the Day ? Oh Shame ! oh
»^Difgrace! [Race?
^^ WE, ~ WE ~ the Day, - and to the Canter
Who aim fchifmatically to trapan
Our Cdtecbife with thpir Cbi^-End-(hMfln :
Sz « A
cc
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I4» "Tbe MOBIADi or,
[^ A fqueamifli Crew, who'll tremble if We
fwear\
" Butr— in Damned-Lying take a tenfold Share ;
" The CalfVHead.feaftedVillains, who deride
f ^ Our Curje as caufelefs on the Martyr's Tide :
** Who woud again our Church io Stable Xyix^t
^* And jujl-made Surplices to Tinder burn,
.^* As but old Smocks of BabyloN'S old
Whore } rt> »
* [row r J
" Beat down the Te/iy and climb again to
** Who at our npdding Crefls pf Oak-boughg
fneer,
^* And white Rofe from our very Bolbms tear :
<' What! fhall We, daftardifs'd to Silence, fe?rn
" To give the Vidlory of Voice to them ?
*^ Again that malapert Sleeve-laughing Crew
y In Mourning hang our {a\ Maud'len daub*4
with Blue ?
^' Which,
(a) Mau4^% M^d JUmdlen^ or properly Magdaler^
Gallows, the Execution Tree for High Treafon,- Felonies,^
&c. committed within the County or Qtyof Etciier.
pivers fuper-emi!\ent Perfonagcs of the Bba Army (among
whom z, Blindman was one) having had the Whim to paint
their
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Bdttle of the Voice. i/j.3
*^ Which,-*blaft their Peepers /—might urge to
deflrby
" In Flames of hXzzkNovemberh Fifth their Joyj
^^ And from fack'd Conventicles, — but — for
~* {(^) Baxter draw \
^* PeWs, Canting - Tubs, and Books of
« I fay, my Bipods \ fhall of th' Old Rump the
[recede ?
^* Thipk we will ere from Cuftom's Right
*^ No ; Sooner let the guilty (c) Sun be gay
" Upon the Royal Martyr's facred Day !
^' No, my brave Bullies, with rough Shocks of
Breath
** Firft tempeft their fanatic Souls to death :
"Your
their Houfes, fignificantly, bf that Colour, to ihew theif
Extravagance of Zeal ;— -it happened that, on their lofing
an Ele£Uon, fome concealed- Wags of, the contrary Party
daub'd this Gallows partly of that Colour, and withal hung
^ragged black Crape upon it, for Mourning.
(b) Baxter* s Boob.) James's Meeting-Houfe is, or I well
know was, fumiihcd with Baxtea^s Works, in fevcnj
Volumes^ Folio.
(c) Smbegay.) I have heard it confidently averrM in
Exeter, that thc.Sun never fhines clear on the ^oih of
January. But they err'd egregioufly, cfpecially while the
Old Style continued among us.
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144 ^^ MOB IAD i or,
" Your Bellows of diftended Lungs prepare
*« To blaft the Pimps with ruthfuHeft Defpair ;
" Enforce your Sinews ; clofe in firm Arrays
" And plunge, o'er-turning, in the Depth of
Fray."
He fpoke ; and, ending > thrice with wilful Fift
Beat up new-levy*d Anger to aflift.
Th' Imperial Beaft with Tairs Rib-lafliing
Strokes
. His Choler thus to boiling Height provokes.
The Azure Forces huddling clofe around.
Feel the Oration^s ChartDt &nd club a Sound ;
A Sound ? — Not {d) Mars fo loudly roaring
flood,
When DiQMEj) had drawn his rabid Blood :
In Vollies rais'd, loud, louder, and more loud,
Tempeft*ous Onfets vex th' invaded Crowd.
The Orbs of Sight with flafhing Outrage burn,
While Buftlings work Coqfufipn's dire Return.
>
Bat-
(d) Marsy &c.) See HpM. II. lib. v.
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♦ t
Battle of the Voice ^ 145
But— ftorms the Onfet unrepcU'd ? Oh ! can
Stand paffive the infulted Tellow Clan ? — -
As fcx)n could frifky Dancing-Maflers be
Of folid Head, and fit from Fidging free*
As foon could Sndiths their Trough's black
Puddle y5«;/^.
And Tuckers fuddle on their flimy Sig,
As foon Shoemakers, in a Shilling rich,
Could in a Garret on a Monday ftitch.
As foon could (e) Clack, who all Things
knows and more,
Whofe Lip with Arts and Eloquence runs o'er,
His Tongue's perpetual Motipnftop, and hpar
His Mug-Mates take of Talk fomc little Share.
No :— Wroth Benanak, bulky, tall, in Word
And Adl robuft, with dauntlefs Stingo Ipurr'd,
A forward Chief, of envy'd Fame among
The high-fam*d Mighty oi^Saffron^dTbrong^
Mouths thus, — by Stretch of eager Tone to fire
His touchy Cohorts with intenfer Ire :— .
" League
(i) Clack.) There's a numerous Race of thofeC/a^ix*
I inftance them in the general Family.
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146 Ibi MOBTADioft
** Leagueof the Ortf«^ hear I BriveTe^ie^
[enjoys,
« Whofe Hiiif the Sov'teign Mettal GOLD
« And Guineas boaft the (fj Name i Shall
beftial Force
" Of (g) Hogfty Savages uncheck'd ha* Courfej
** Who're rather like foul Swine themfelves fo
much, r 1 I
[touch !
«* Scarce naft'eft Jew (h) the filthy Herd would
«« Shall Mifcr'ants, bred in Greafe,Blood, Draff,
and Dung. ^^^^^^^
" Like Vixen Scolds brave Men fo Tilt of
' « Shall
(/) Name) Viz. oi Yellm-B^u
fe) Hogfty Savages^ &€.] The Hog- fervlrtg Slaves of the
Shambles, ts^ N* B. ^ A Hog was heretofore hicroglyphi-*
* cally piflured to exprefs an Enemy to Qood Manners,
* and a prophane Perfon. For the Eaftern Nations did fo
* hate a Hog for his filthy Difpofition, that it was a Crime
* for fome of their. Prieffis to touch it.* We make our Ben-
An AK (or Son of Anak) exclaim principally againft thofe
Enemies to Good-Manners, feeing many of them arc
— [u e. about the Time 0/ writing wen}"^ the Ringleaders^
Strength, and Pride of the Party*
(h) Piith^ Herd.) Our Journeym^i Butchers arc -^•^1. e»
they at the Date of the Poem were]-" probably, in the gc^
neral, the moft beaftly filtliy Fellows, of tlie Profeffion, in
the Univerfe. Scavengers and Ridders of Bog-Pits apptor
not fo naufeous, [How they are now^ I77<** Ikm^im^l
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BatHe of the Voice. 147
** Shall fuch as from wild Bogland's (/)R?ipr
parecs '
** Denomination take,— as bcft agrees,-—
** Whofe ugly Hawing to our Teeth denotes
*5 Their Prolpgue to th' old Play of Cutting
'^'^'■' ' [of Rome,
** Shall fuch mere Mongrels, the Half-fpawa
" Againft Whole Proteftants reiiftlefs come ?
** Shall Caitiffs whoop, as 'twere for Rebel War,
•^ Like Varlet Clans led on by Traytor Mar ?
" No, Liegemen, no : — The Perkinites (hall
know -. ^ .
[more floW.
'* Our Strength keeps firmer, as it moves
** Old Prophecies, I Ve heard, in Terms de-
clare, j.„ .
[Ham
'' The Turk fhall fall by Meii of {k) telkm
•* And (han't our chriftian 2>//i?«; Knots fubdue
^* The more than heathenifh Cockades of Blue?
T " They
. (i) Rappams.) A Tory or a Rapparee originaDy means
^e fame Perfon.
{i) YtUow Hair.) See Bayl&'s Did. Art. MaHombt^^
Note [993.
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.148 ^bt MOB IAD ^ or^
** They (hall : I fee how they inglorious droop
" Ev*n on the Cockfcombs of their (I) Liv*ry
Troop ;
" They Ihall : — I fee already how they hang
" Lithe on the Numfkulk of the beggar*d Gang,
** As if from that Old tawdry (m) Vefture torn
*' By Madam Blowza's foggy Buttocks worn,
" Which, thriftlefs, (he converted late to Shreds
" (dur Ridicule !) to deck their ftupid Heads.
" And though in later Cloah fome Grander
Wights r^. ,
^ [Sights,
" Appear (n) Town-Whifflers to our diftant
" Them
{I) Livery:! roop.) The Attendants on the Honourable
High-Sheriffatthc Affizes 1737 or 1738, vfOXtBlui Cockades^
in profefs'd Token of that Gentleman's being of the Blug
Party, [Many have followed the Example fince^ ^770.^
(m) Vefiufi tortii Sec. On a certain former Eledion, a
particular very fet Madam (whofe Hulband broke foon aftef,
paying about 000 Nichils in the Pound) tore up her Blue Silk
Gown to make Cockades therewith, all the bfue or purple
Ribbon in thefe Parts being already ufed, and infufficient.
(n) The City Waits, See before, Canto 3. Note,
feverd Dons of the Party'have — [i, €• Had then] — lately,
by Agreement and in Concert, made themfelvcs blue Cloaks :
And three or four of them appearing in a Knot together
have been at a Diftance verily miftakcn for the Waits.
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Battle (f the Voice. 145
« 21&e«futurcDayswithBlackfoftain*dihallfee
« They'd, mournful, fcrvc in Death'is dark
Pageantry.
« Strut they xHftind the while ; — till, iham'd,
they view
" Not Blindmens Huts alone afFcft their Hue,
** But (c>),Coblers petty Shops, in mimic Pride,
*^ That mocks unwittingly, like vainly dy'd.
« But let not Talk from Adion you withold:
" Prove right Your Selves, or than Yourfelves
more bold : rot
[Shout,
" Engrofs the Winds, a:nd, with an Army's
" Blow hufli theVapVings of the lawlefs Rout 5
" A Shout fo mortifying, it may quell
" Their Hope, fondWifli, and Longing to rebel.
" Strain hard your Frame, and with Elboic
Thruft,
^' Bear down the faucy Headlongs to the Duft.
T » « Though
(0) CoUer\ &c.) A Cobler's Shop fitaate near St. Olav^^
C3)urch« The Warden of that Parifh, in bis over-boiling
{x>ve to the ]Kue Party, painted the fame of a vexy deep
Blue, Windows, Stall, wi idl«
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150 7be MOBIJD; or,
« Though— (as the Aftor in the loyal Play
" Caird Gato, in our Play-Houfe, usM to fay)
** Though Mortals may not full Succcfs infure,
" Let us dcferve it, and do nobly mprc.**
He emis. {f>) C^millus, for Tripmphal
Grace,
Like the God5 Statues with ycrmilion-d Face,
Did fcarcp in Cheeks fuch bloody Luftre fliow,
As thdt wherewith his fiery Features glow.
He ends. The hardy Bands of (q) Bufattcik
Their Pot^nce \yith prevailing Voice the beft,
Whqfc cvVy Throat with (r)JuNo*s feems to vie
In Stentor's Form, as puih*d her Argives flyj
Or
(p) Gamilius.] Camil|.us, the Roman Diftator, in his
Triumph for faking the Veii, enterM Rome in a Chariot
drawn by Four milk-white Horfes, with his Face coloured
with Vermilfon. But fuch Horfes fince the E:fcpulfipn of
th^ TAR(yjiNs had not been allow'd but to Jupiter
and Apollo : And the Statues of the Gods were wonted
to be painted with Vermilion.
(q) Buff'.'] That formerly was the Term of Diftindion
aflumed by the then low Party; Sound and Buff being the
difterent Shib^liths then, as Blue and Yellow now are*
(r) JuH^ &c.) yW. If om; H. lib* s. /
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Battk of the Voice. 151
Or (i) Thunderson's, revived Tertullus,
His Rattle feeks to lead our Leading Men.
More eager than the Sting of burning Thirft,
And rapid as ere "^uly Thunders burft.
Right gallant as lift Britain's nettled Sons
TTo fvsringe th*infulting, proud, predacious DoNS^
TThey penetrate tb* ijiimic Prefs, $nd ply
Leaps, Reels^ Stan^ps^ Pu(hes, to fupport the
Day.
The Hall again fakes through rpbb'd Gate-
way in
Stir, Freak, Rant, Hurlyburly, ftunning Din,
That, as with colic Throes convulsed, the Hall
Groans hideous, twingM with the inteftine
BawL
Scarce rack*d Vesuvius quakes endangered fo.
When heard internal Storms of Fire to blow.
(s) IhindirfonJ] If there be no noify, mobbifli, hot Son
of 7bim4er^<tic, whg thus by the Npfe fccfcs to lca|d our Lea-
ders, let him be fuppos'd only a Son of mere Pontic Fancy.
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i5« "Ihe MOBIADi or^
In gen'ral Tumult fumes the Confliia :•- .Wide,
Yet firmly denfe, the Swarms of either Side
With fierce Variety of Combat ftrivc
Through either Hoft Difcomfiture to drive,
A Thoufand Feats, well worth an Ex'ter^s
Praife, ^r
{.Lays i
And thrice three Thoufand Clamours claim our
But each Exploit would, buthalf told, prolong
In Folio Tomes, — defedive yet,— the Song.
Wrath thro' the Whole in Conflagration fpreads.
And agonifing Spite Infediou fheds ;
A6 mortal Bites of Dogs infane inftil
Ljke Fury, and a catching Luft to kill.
Each Individual chafes in Look to grow
A Phalanx fit to ftem th* unnumbered Foe $
As in each Arm, or Mouth, Decifion lay
Of Struggle fole to terminate the Fray ;
Or each impulsed with itiore ^zn Roman Ztsl
Durft die (t) devoted for hisParty^s Weal,
^And
(t) Dopffted.} The old Romans etit^rtam-d an enthufi*
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Battle of the Voice. , 153
And, bold as Curtius in his' brave Career,
Leap'd in the Gulph^ could plunge in Seas««
oiBeen
But doubtful ftill to which the Day will fall :
No (u) Ballance Jove fufpenda to weigh the
Bawl.
Nor Thee, Astr^ea ! with thy Scales of Gold,
Eyes, dim or jaundiced, in the Hall behold,
Thy Bench in Heav'n by Faith they view, and
deem
[Beam.
The Scale of Haddy's Foes fhall {x) kick the
But
aftic Notion that in Cafes of extreme Danger from their
Enemies in Battle, &c. &c. if a worthy Perfon among
them folemnly devoted himfelf to Perdition, and ruih'd on
certain Death amid the Enemy, he thereby wrought Salvati-
on f^r his Countrymen, &c. Many madly thu« dcftroy'd
themfelves.— The Earth opening once iii the Forum, the
Augun declar'd it could never be fill'd up till the Thing in
which confifted the Strength of the State was caft into it,
whereupon M. Curt x us, alking whether it confifted in
any Tiling more than Arms and Courage, arm'd himfelf
Cap-a-pee, and mounting a ftately Horfe, devoted YiimftK
accordingly, and rode direftly into the Gulph.
(«) Ballance.} Vid. Hom. D. lib. xxii. & Virg* ^n.
lib. xii.
(x) Kick the Beam*] See Milt. Par joft. Book iv. ver.
100.
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254 "^ MOBIADiir^
But what of that ? Too oft* we fighing kn6^
Thy Scales Above afFed not Scales BeltrtVi
if Homer and Maro^ with their Gods of
Old,
To ferve the Purpofes of Verfe, Were Bold 5
And Them brought down, in Vehicles df Air,
With Mortals in ungodly Strife to fhare.
Good MiL'ToN, haply, made a fpice too free
Both with the Devil arid — TttE Deitv*
Monadic Bards th' old Painim Gods foriake i
But {y) Gods as ^twere of fainted Deadmeii
make.
Thefe Volunteer's ere beats a Drum engage T
'Gainft Infidels a Crufade War to wage, >
And %ht Heav n's Battle with infernal Rage. J j
To Purpofe more approv d might haply We
(If bent to tamper with Machine)
Convene
(y} God» as Uwire.'l To afcribe the Attributes of GOO
to a Cnaiure feems really to deify that Creature, Such 29 in
any Place, and perhaps in a great many Places, pray to a
Man^ though called a Saint j muft imagine him differently
preftnt^ and to h^itr Invokers in many^ perhaps all, Places.
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Battle of the Vme. 155
Convene a Chapter of thofe Saints who bear
O^er I'rades. and Traders tutelary Care,
Who, kenning thus our Garboils rage fo large.
Such Havock fattening on their divers Charge,
Might in the Clouds affemble, and their Heads
(Surrounding which a Blaze oiGlory fpreads)
In Council join how War awhile might ceafe.
And made be Ten Months Interval of Peace,
{z) St. Blais£, who -« (if Monks neither
fib nor doat) —
Invoked, whip! preftol heals a {z)fquinzyd
Throat,
Though with his Flefli in bleeding Tatters
rent.
Might come th* endangered Ombers Prelident.
V To
{%) St. Bkife^ &c.] The £/;«»</ afliires, that PerfonS,
having a Jon Throaty who pray to St. Blaisb for Help,
are ftrangely curM. — JVoolrcombers look upon him as the Aui-
tfaor and Inventor of their Art and Trade, and reprefent and
pi£hirehini as their Patron, with a Wool-comb in his Hand.
The Suppoiai might poffibly be founded on his haying (as
'tis pretended) his Jbleib torn by fuGh-lik« Inftrumeat asa
Comb*
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156 ^ MOB IAD i or.
To fave her Coopers from a mortal Quarrel
Might interpofe St. Mary of the {b) Barrel*
To juft St. Joseph ought our Muse refer
The tugging Joiner and the Carpenter.
Bricklayers fhould St. GRtGoRY obtain ;
The Grace of St. Eloi fhou'd Goldfmitbs gain.
St. Ann fhould Grooms ailifl, though none in-
voke;
Ev'n Butchers claim St. Mary of the Oak 5
St. James to Hatters might his Gopdncfs grant
Vpholfters^ fav'd from Fall, might praifeVsN ant.
St. Leonard (hou'd no Stone-cutter forfake,
' Nor Mary of Loretto thofe who Bake.
For Taylors the beheaded Saint had flood
Who duck'd Repentants in Old Jordan's Flood.
St. Crispin might his Gentlecrdft. relieve :
St. Eustace Aid to Innbolders fliou'dgive:
The Flea'd Apoftle with his Knife might fidcl
The broird St. Laurence Safety to provide V
For Curriers and tough Tanners oi the Hide ; j
The
(a) Barrel] Sta. Maria dc Copclla: CopeUa fignifying
in Englijh A Barrel.
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Battle of the Voice. i^y
The Iaft-nam*d Saint might in like Wardfhip hug
Thofe who apply or njend th* aperient Drug:
Nor leave of Aid the Woollen drapers bare.
Nor who at Wholefale deal in Staple Ware.
The fwarthy Artifts fweating at the Forge ,
Should draw, unaiking, to their Help St.
George;
Carmen St. Vincent have a Guardian Saint 5
Savior keep Sadlers fafej Luke thofe who
paint.
Nay {b) Job perhap iov fome had prefent been
Who've done lewd Worfliip to the {c) Cyprean
Queen ;
Since divers might, on Scrutiny^ be found
With aking Bones who hoarfly fnuffle Sound (
Thefe, and the reft, whom canonizing Rome
Appoints o*er Crajtfmen might in Vifion come -
V 2 To
(h) Job} Job has the Honour of being efteem'd the
Patron of fuch as have the Venereal Malady.
{c) Cyprean ^een] Venus, lewdly worfhipp*d, in OI^
Time, m the Ifland of Cyprus,
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158 ^ MOB IAD i or.
To Synod in the Sky j— and— (fincc fo jar
Joiners with JoimrSy Smiths on Smiths fo war.
Bakers at Bakers drive ; Wool-Combers fpight
Their Fellows j Coopers one another fight j
That equal Perils from the mingled Rage
Abide the Objedls of their Patronage)-*—^
Refolvc with one Accord to interpofe,
And by an bonelt Wile diflioncft Difcord clofe \
That falutary Wile then in the Brain
Of fome fage Father, ftudious of the Main^^
Suggefted might, through Vehicle of Jfbite^
(Invention's Whet!) or C^^^ Steam alight.
Hence Indigo, to counfel quick, nor flow
Of Refblution, nor in A(aion low.
Stout as Tydides, yet as Nestor wife^,
Mi^ht,— thus infpir'd,--.in clofe Cabal arife.
And, confident of Trick-availing Skill,
His Fluency of Tongue thus fwectly trill :
" Copartners in the Caufe, whofe Blazonry
V The Heav'ns afie^, as it adorns the Sky:
I' Though
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Battk of the Voice. tS9
^^ Though would Occafion bid aflcrt the Fray,
*^ And with MohProwefs vindicate the Day,
" Yet paft Events warn to beware the Courfe
" Of Butcher Fury and of Porter Force.
'* The Foe of /^?/^— .(Beflirew the Change !)—
havequeird [pellMj
" Our hardeft Fifts, and Barg with Bruile re-
i^« And where a fmuggled Odds, by dark
Surprife, [Prize,
" With Clubs in Ambufh, would redeem the
•^ Law^ hamp'ring Lavf^ -^ which oft* to
(d) SouTHGATE leads, [Heads.
•^ ProvokM fell vengeful on our Champions
*' Remains it» then, that Policy take placey
** Such as may compenfate our laft Difgrace.
** For who forgets that yet o'er-fclouding Shame
" Of our fo baulk'd, thoiigh well-laid, Stra-
*^g«n^> [Curtain drawn
•^ Which we defignM (But be a
^\ On that Affair, a Night unknowing Dawn!)
« But
(J^) $mihgati.'\ The Prifon, or Goal, in its inferiour
D«ti, fox Felons of all Degrees, and in its upper Rooyrns for
Pcljtors.
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i6o The MOBIADi or,
" But did, — opprobr ous to our thwarted Aim,
" The happier {e) Rectus to the Chair reclaim,
" The Seat wherein HE, twice fix Moons
before,
" Our Envy^ and the Publick's Bleffings, bore.
" Haddy, — you know, would his Ambition
treat
** In filling — as if juft ! — our Chieftan Seat»
" Be *t ours with Guile to difappoint a View
" That with the Yellow would overtop the Blue.'
*^ Strength were at befl: precarious ; nor we may
*^ Now hope Adjournment to atchieve Delay.
" 'Tis gone from Jacinth to prorogue the
, Poll,
" Then in the Dark for Mercenaries prowL
** And RECTUS, who as yet the Rudder guides,
" Though mild and courteous, ftifF in Juftice
prides i
« With
(e) ReSfus.l Mr. Symonds, a Gentleman of the wor-
thicft Charafier, who was at this Time Mayor ; having
been elefted the preceding Year (when he had been fet up
only as a Stalkinghorfe, to facilitate the Choice of another,
though he had honourably diTchargM the Oflfce but one
Year before.
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Battle of the Voice. i6i
^* With Heart entire, and refolute in Right, «
" No Wheadles lure him, no Pretences bite.
^^ As foon the Prussian, xharm'd withpLEu-
ry's Aim, .^, .
[Claim,
" To Bergues and Juliers fliall renounce his
" And, drain'd of fierce Difguft, the Porte
allow
V The envy'd Russ to keep her Oczakow :
" As foon the Dutch give felfifh Treaties o'er,
** And Spain our Shipping uncompell'd re-^
[Right,
«^ France toil officious in dup*d Austria's
" And Sweden aid, to get but Thank-ye by't.
" Pult'ny asfoonfliallonSirRoBRETfawn,!
" And Patr I cK*s Dean turn Sneak for Sleeves I
of Lawn, 1
" As warplefs Rectus will afide be drawn, j
'* No :-— other Management, prefage I, would
« Be his than that when manag'd Jacinth
rulU
*^ Wife Caution guide, then j nor on windy Cry,
** Nor fpecious Colour, ever more rely.
« Tis
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itz Ihe MOBIAD% cr^
cc
'Tis in our Hands, though Scruples might
forbid^
" Our Caufe from Hansard of Relapfe to rid
" Were once more Haddy to fair Chance
preferrd,
« Haddv,^ the Idol of the hated Herd !
« My Heart forebodes, our Fraud and Farce
were vain ^ .
[again»
** Theirs were the Glory, ours the Shame
" But H E afide,— -we may to Ufe apply
« Old (fj Expletive, ~ a Tool; for Years
f et by ;
** But well referv'd for fuch convenient Hour,
" To chear our Blue,— znd daunt the 2^/W
EowV.
" My Sentence is proposed. Advife> if ye
** Have apter Counfel, or with mine agree.**
Thus cloilng might he fit. And Mazarine,
Slow rifing, might next in Oration fhioe^
More
(/) Expletive.] Mr. Culm£, who had been long thrown
afide, and was at this critical Seafon pitcb'd on but to fenre
an End.
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Battle of the Vmce^ 163
More fage in Youth than if Ulysses' Pate
On green Tejlemachus's Shoulders fate.
And thus addrefs'd :— " Ye, Confcript Fathers^
right
" On Me for fafe Diredlion fix your Sight,
*' For a Diftator fram'd. And well ye know
** What Benefits to my Advice ye owe,
^* Whofe Chin, fcarce confcious of the Razor's
Edge,
" Yea ere its woolly Down began to fledge,
*' For Years have, to your Wifdom's Praife,
averr'd
" Yqu mete not Sapience by Length of Beard.
" Howlarge could I in pompous Strains declare
" The'Greatnefs of my future Reigning Year.
" But Time (hall fpeak;— And, in laconic Style,
^* Be pleas'd to know :— I recommend the Wile :
**' Be ExPLETr^^E your prefent Shift, firtce vaiii
^* This Seafon wcte my Enterprife to reign :
f^ Whereas Twelve Months improved aright
rhay clear
^^ An Ope for fure Acceffion to the Chair. "
X ^ * Thirs
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i64 ^e MOBIADi or.
Thus might the venerable Daniel end.
And none reply, but, backing, to commend i
With Glee xht Junto might adopt the Scheme,
And voted Thanks refound his Senfe fupreme :
Reduced to Practice the Defign take place.
And fit in Chamber with demure Grimace.
Such, fay we, mighty if noti^iw^are that Skill
And Strength would fail a too advent'rous Will,
Nor (g) Audience fit unhop'd, we here aflay. ^
But left we blunder in wild Paths aftray, >
We'll ftill piirfue the beft-known fafer Way. j .
^ The Sun now, (haping duly South hisTour,
Marks on true Dials Low Life's (/&)Dining-Hour.
The
(g) Audience Jit. 1 According to Mil TON *s very necefla-
ly Petition to Urania, *^ Fit Judience findy though few.**
(b) Low Lifers Difiing,'\ Twelve 6' Clock, when the Vul-
gar ox Jimple Sort, fuch of them as have any Thing to eat,
particularly Journeymen Helliers, Mafons, Joiners, Smidis,
Taylors^ &c. precifely go to Dinner : -Of fome of whom it
has^been obferv'd, or pretended to have been obferv'd, that
at tl\? very firft Stroke of the Clock, they have left Strokes
of their owmmfinilhi'd, "■* tT To prevent cavilling Cr^ticks^
W^ Qiuft here note^ that tho' the Fnenun are by us allow'd
to
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Battle of the Voice. 165
The Thralls in Southgate hav^, with tir'd
Ado,
Fi/h*(J yp almoft ThFce^half-pcnce with the
Shoe. ^
At Westgate Clowns lean awkward on their
Rods, - -
[nods ;
And, gaping, wait 'till (/) Matthew Millar
Nor little ftrange at the myfterious Cafe,
A ilf/7/tfr ftiould thu§ wear a Colliers Face.
Clocks blefs'd ! found Cupboard : Good-wives
Belows ply;
Boys fpring from School, (harp-fet, withExftacy.
Poft-OfEce Window, flap ! claps to : In vain
Poflers with Letters tofave Twopence ftrain:
X 2 For
to be, all or moft, in and about the Guildhall on the Bufi*
nefs of the Day, yet Numbers of Journeymen, &c. may
be, and indeed are, Strangers, and fuch as are not Free.
Beiides, Noon indiiFerently, at any Time, is here intended
to be thus defcribed.
(i) Matthew the MtUar.'l One of the Images at the
Tower uf St. Mary Steps^ which, nodding its Head by
Clockwork, feems to affift in the Chimes, which play at 4, .
8, and 12. They call him the Millar, tho' by his black
Cornple^Ion "^[tutjince the writing this Poem new paintedy'*
)ie ihouid feem to have been rather a Collier th^ a Mi%i>
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i^^ Tie MOBIADi <
For {k) 8t ANN AW AY,— or Yokefellow in lieu.
More forward, fmiles the running Gain to view.
Now Trowels back unusM the Mortar throw,
Half-driv'n remains the Nail with Half a Blow,
Smiths drop the mounted Sledge, and CrofsM-*
From Shopboard, and to Cooks or (/) Church-
The Conclave opes ; Th' AfFairs of Secret end ;
Furr d Gowns to grace the Nether Bench
defcend :
But on the Stairs, until fome narrow Way
Opes for Accefs, prolong uneafy Stay.
As Armies, difciplin'd to Adion, nerve
Their harras*d Ranks with Bodies ofReferve,
Impetuous in, at once, Outftanders break,
WithVoicc unbrok^, oshftr/^'rpus, to the FreaL
To
(I) Siarmaway.'] Precifely at Twelve is ihut the Poft-
Ofiice Wooden Cafement ; outfide waitsMr.ST annaway,
Poft to HonitoR, or liis Wjfe,. tp receive Letters (for cz^
of\^hichbehas ad.) td be pint ineo tKe Bag at is&if t<^»
[N.OTB, fffefpe^k oftbi Tim0 whm tit Fiem was wriutn*]
il) Churchyard^ &c.] Here, they tell us, (I fuppofe jocu-
larly) Taj^ors fpend their Nooii ^out^ Mrhcn they have no
Dinner fave Air.
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Batk of the V(H€e. iSy
To driH a Pafs now feems Safupfinian Toil,
Though Staffs of high Commiflion plowing
moil)
Thole magic Staffs which hickn Treafure find.
And evil Spirits from Nights-walking bind ;
The Staffs which dare thump ope robufteft
Door;'
Staffs which wrong-fided Drunkards fink before*
Worjc now Heads, Elbows, Knees, Heels,
Breads, and Backs,
Till by detorting Jerks the Cieling cracks !
And, as ftrctch'd Boots on forcive (m) Trees
extend
Dimenfion, Walls extruded fecm to bend.
The graceful Portrait of the (n) Princely Dame,
Isca's fair Native, fhudders in the Frame.
Monk
(m) Trm»] Viz. Bootmakers frfes^ fo called.
(ff) Princely Dame.] In t;he Guildhall are at full Length
the Portraits of his prefent Majefty K. George II. — of
the Princels Henrietta Maria, Daughter of K.
Charlbs I. |be bcin^ a Native of the City; — and of
Gen. Monk, Earl of Albemarle^ a Drvonjhir^ Man born.
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i68 Tbe MOBIJD, or,
Monk eke in PiiSurc fbakes, as if the No/e
Q{{o) Noll withVengance to his Seeming rofe*
Ev'n (p) C-ffiSAR, whofe heroic Soul no Awe
EV felt when He grim Danger inftant faw,
C-ffiSAR, who on infanguin d (q) Belgians Plain^
And bis own raging and (r) rebellious Mdw,
Shewed Churchill's Self more how quick
Fate to brave,
And Wagek to fuftain the {s) wrackful Wavej
CjESAR, who dares, by Juftice led, defy 1
Leagued France and Spain, though flum- '
bers neuter by |
The lull'd, feduc'd, ingrateful, (r) did Ally ;J
Britannia's Caesar, with majefticFear,
In painted Image y feems the Shock to hear*
The
{o) Noll.] Oi^ivkr Cromwell, wont tobecall*4
OLD Noll, and his Nofe efteem'd notable.
(p) Cafar,'] The Pifture of K. Georgb II. juft above
already mentioned.
{q) Viz. When he was Prince of Hanover ^ and fought
in the Army commanded by the Duke of Marlborou^hy ^c.
(r) His Britannick Majefty being afferted Sovereign of
the Britijb Seas*
. (s) Alluding to the dangerous Paffage from H^Uandj in
which his Majefty with Admiral Wager bad like to have
been caft away. (i) The Dutcb^ .
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Battle of the Voice. 169
The (u) LiOfii trembling as if heard below
At once the (x) Globe's coUeaed {y) Cocks to
crow)
Threats to defert his t^oft, and, with his Mate
Oi Jingle Horn, refign the Shield to Fate.
Bodies, on either Side, contiguous drove.
Incorporate ev*n to the Letter prove.
That from aloft Imagination dreads
TvfoHumanHydras with Two Thoufand Heads.
Ten caftilefs Debtors in that dreary Cave
Tclep^diht {i6) Shoe more free a Breathingiiave*
Scruple
(u) Liony &c.] The Lian, Supporter of the KingV
Arms fix*d over the Mayor's Seat.
(x) Globe,] The Globe Tavern, where Cock fighting
is often held.*~[i. e. was often held at or about the Time of
fPriting this PoemJ]
(y) Cocks,] According to antiently received Notion, (but
a Vulgar and exploded Error) living Lions ufed to tremble
on hearing a Cock crow; as, on the other Hand, Bulls
would fhed their Urine, for very Dread, on hearing a Lioh"^
Roar I how truly let others fay.
(z) The Shoe,] So iscall'd a little clofe Room m.Southgate
Prifon, where fuch poor infolvent Debtors as can't pay for
Lodgings, are [i. e. have been] crowded, or crufli^d in toge-
ther. It feems to have received its Denomination from the
Privilege they, in Turn, have of begging Charity of Paffers
by, they by a Cord letting down an Old Shoe t6 receive the
fame*
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1^0 Jbe MO BIADi or,
(a) Scruple the juft, who Raifin tkcs in twain,
That Scales do upright Juftice to a Graiiii
Ne*er bought at Weyhill, nor retaird in Shop,
More flat, compact, in turgid Sack, the Hop j
Nor Smoke-cur*d Herrings he imbarrerd chofe
For like Comprcffion of their fquatted Roes.
Bellies protuberant and Shoulders crump
Expedl to lofe their Prominence and Hump.
Heart, Lights, and Liver, fore Conftridtion
moan ; .. ,
[wels groan.
Punched Bofoms murmur, and fquelfh'd Bo-
Some Galltgajkins to the helplefs Nofe
The mimick'd {J?) Guhrti bruis'd Relief difclofe*
JDamnoman
(i) BcrupU the Juji.'] A good old Juftice, renoWn^a for
Stri(anefs, and upright holding his Shop Scales, &c, &c.
(c) Gulon,] This being a moft voracious Beaft, when he
has a Carcafs larger than would ferve for one Meal, he ne-
ver ftirs from the Place till he has difpatch'd the whole, un-
lefs that, when he is ;full cramm'd, and can hold no more,
he goes to find two Trees very clofe together, through the
Interval whereof he drags and fqueezes his Body ; and fo he
gets rid of what he before devoured, in order immediately, to
fall to again.
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1
Battle of the Voice. iji
Danmoniah Swaios their grinded. Apple prefs
To force Pomaceous Wine with Effort Icfs
Than which the Stronger of the JVedgdzSzy
For their Patricians a progreffive Way ;
Yet all the Void the genVal Squeeze may boaft
Proves but an Alley's Six-Inch Wedth at moft ;
Whofe {c) tott'ring Sides, fway'd by th* elaftic
Load,
Next Moment clofe, and choak the petty Road;
Thro* which as, iideling, rubb'd, the Robes
recur.
To grating Buttons they tranflate the Fur.
The Conscript Sires their arduous Tug
compleat.
And puffing gain their &fe and reftful Seat ;
There to dilate anew the fbreighten'd fireaft^
And meditate a compenlating Feaftj
Y Where
(c) tottmng Sides.'i Meaning tht Conftables and ftrong
Men who comptfe the Sides of the little Lane thus fo
difficultly nude i and fcarcely &ve thcmfelves from being
i»V€r-powered«
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172 ^be MOBIADi or.
Where, whilft go {d) meliorated Batapers round,
The Hours fhall with augmenting Glee be
crown*d,
TiU {e) Sir Jtbn Adee, late,, by Minftrel's
And (/) Zwopping'Mallard by their own, be
Severe (g) Apollo on a Tide may laugh.
And Jove on Gatds crank v^ith Codlings quafi;
So (durft we, as your topping Poets dare,
A low-iife Brute with lofty Man compare)
A
(d) Meliorated.}. J^.Ms Word hangs a Tale of a face-
tious Alderman decea^'d, who order'd an Attendant to pour
out half a GUfs of Cyder, but withal bad him meliorate it,
pointing to a Decanter of Port Wine : And having taken it
elF, turns to a Brother Alderman, yetjexifting, *-*[£«<
died long fince ; which. L now write in Tear 1770.]— i^^ State
by him fmoaking his Pipe, faying. Dp you know what me-
liorating a Thing is^ Mr. Alderman ? — " Knoigjyhat 'tis ?
replies the Sage, nodding his wife Head, *^ *5l^.yes, I
know what 'tis : *Tvi Port and Cyder. v*
(e) Sir John Jdee.} See before pa» N«te ( )*
(f) Zwopping Mallard.'] Another fevouritc old Chamber
Song, firft introduced and ufually fung by the ^ve Recor-
der himfelf*
{g) Apollo^ &c«] Alluding to Semel in^ anno ridet A^lh^
&c*
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tiatk of the Voice. 173
(b) A tabby Tygrefs of famUiar Race
Wiredraws her Loins thro' fomc ftrift Cranny's
Space,
In Dread ofF-ftript lier furry Drefs to find.
And even Half her Intrails left behind :
But, after panting in enlarged Room,
Revives her Hope to meet a counter Doom ;
Her fwelling Womb extends its flattened Frame,
Well-fcented Gates her eager Guft inflame :
Or, haply, (he may with erefted Ear
The Squeek of lufcious Game domeftic hear,
Nor doubt e*er long a Feafl of Ven*fon Cheer.^
Augmented Outcries Strength of Whirlwinds
[tiirow.
Threatening the heaving Roofs* pufFd Over*
Not when, on Birth-days, loyal Powder roars
In joyous Union through train d Mufket-Bores
Of full Battalion, e'er a Burft fo loud
Was heard to fhatter an impending Cloud.
Y 2 The
(h) tatty Tygrefsy &c.] Meaning a Houfliold CaU
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* 174 "^ MOBIJDi or.
The Welkin ikrinks,. andftarting Air around
Fears a Vulcanian Rupture of the Ground*
Command for Silence bids the Tempeft fwell ;
The Word repeated does the Thing repel ;
For Silence ! Silence I with extended PowV,
From ev'ry Mouth relbunding ftrlve their Hour.
But Marfhals> who (i) Stentorian Clamour
ftrain
To quafli the Storm, at laft, a Paufe obtain :
Then " O— o-o- Y-e-s !— longly drawlM,— as
Ufe decrees,
*^ That Free Men {of high, loWy or, no Degrees)
" To choofe a new Prime Magiftrate draw
nighV,
" And Aliens, to avoid the Jail, retire."
The fage {k) Propkjetor, tho* exerted ftrong,
Yet fmooth his Accent, to the buzzing Throng,
On
{/') Stentorian Clamour,^ Stentor, in the Grecian
Army before Troy, is (at kaft poetically) recorc]^ to have
equaird Fifty ordinaryvMen in Loudnefs of Voice. Vid,
HoM. II. lib. V. ver. 784. Or the mere Englljh Reader
iriay fee Pope's Tranfl. ver. 976, &c. or fce'Juv. Sat. xiii.
{k) Profrataul The Recorder, Mr. Serj, B-Ifr-d»
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. '■'Tir'
Bdttle of the Voice. 17J ^ '^^-
On Tiptoes of Expea:ance,«~All attent
Their Ears as Thebes e'er to (/) Amphion lent.
To fuck the Charms of dulcet Eloquence,
Backed with deep Knowledge and illumin'd
^Senfe, ^^m
Yields thus his Oral Mufick :— ^•^ Gen-tle-men,^
(Tbeir Styk Hobday i^^To^morrow Scrubs agen)^:
** Since has the Mat^^r his Confulate gone
" (For which, moft worthily, our Thanks are
" I muft inform yoxiy'^{tbougb already knowny^
*' It's the fix'd Conftitution of our Town,
' *' When
(/) AmfhtMn^ The Fable of his miraculous Lyre, at hit
playing on which the Stones which built the Walls of
Thebes, danced to the Places where Aey fliould be lay*d,
is reasonably fuppos'd to have had no other Bottom than that
when be invaded that Country, and carried Mufick, which
he had learn'd in LvoiA, then firft into Greece with
him, the Melody was fo admired for its Excellence and
Novelty, that he eafjy engaged the People to carry on the
Building whilft he diverted them with his Harp.' Or it as
probably means, that whereas they were before naturally
rude and uncivilie'd, they were by his Eloquence induced to
inhabit within the fame, and live under Laws la Community
together.
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176 ^Tbe MOBIADi or,
** When caird on to fupply the Chair Supreme,
^* Your GovERNouRs have Right repos'd in
Them,
" To fix, as proper Candidates, on Two^
« Of. whom thtpropereji remains to Youc'*
5o, with a graceful Emphafis of Tone,
TWO nominates, for their, Suffrages ONE.
But fcarce the Cadence from his Lip can fly.
Ere Quarrel joins in one harmonious Cry,
Or but contends which Lungs furpaffing Might
Could have atteftedjn a lengthen d Fight.
Difcord atoned now in flrange Union flrives.
And Peace in unaccuflom*d Concord thrives.—
WithCuLME! Culme! Culmej the altered
Hall abounds; ' r- ,
[founds.
Culme! unoppos'd from valid Throats re-
Windows and Walls feem Culme to fhout:
On hiffh r ,
^ • [reply.
Accordant Echoes Culme ! Culme ! Culme !
No
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Battle of the Voice. . 177, /^^,
No Deed, no Word, no Look, betrays a Fear ; ^^s^'i
No Foot recedes \ all Hands Refiftance dare :
AU to the Palm difputelefs Title bring.
And, without Conqueft, all Ovation ring.
Now lovely founds the confentaneous Jar ; ^
Now beautifully fmiles, appeas'd, the War ;.
Now Party Battle proves a focial Play ;
Now Wraths turn Friendfhip, bent the felf-fame
Way.
So Winds whofc Force, by Winds opposed,
might wage »
A Storm, and lafh the Main to furly Rage ;
But one Point blowing, though with ftronger
Gales,
Delight the belly*d and more fpeeded Sails.
Amazing Turn! — Bells wak*d in Traniporl .
feel
Strange early Pulls exhort each flinging Wheel,
Whofe
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WhoTe jooind Rounds the baffled. Variance
>»,
As dius tbe jokeful Confort feems to run : — >
Vidoriotts All !-^yet none a Foe fubdues !
The Yellows loft not,— though have won the
Blues!
End of Canto VL and of the Poem,
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